Alan
@401unauthorized.bsky.social
security analyst at an unnamed global cyber leader
malware analysis - forensics - threat intelligence
st. louis based over educated guitar playing cat dad
malware analysis - forensics - threat intelligence
st. louis based over educated guitar playing cat dad
Reposted by Alan
One of Jim's great skills is stretching. He is better at this than any other cat. People comment on it all the time when they visit our house.
"Holy shit, man, your cat is REALLY fucking good at stretching," they will remark,
"That's because he is orange," we will reply. "And because he's Jim."
"Holy shit, man, your cat is REALLY fucking good at stretching," they will remark,
"That's because he is orange," we will reply. "And because he's Jim."
November 26, 2025 at 9:12 PM
One of Jim's great skills is stretching. He is better at this than any other cat. People comment on it all the time when they visit our house.
"Holy shit, man, your cat is REALLY fucking good at stretching," they will remark,
"That's because he is orange," we will reply. "And because he's Jim."
"Holy shit, man, your cat is REALLY fucking good at stretching," they will remark,
"That's because he is orange," we will reply. "And because he's Jim."
Reposted by Alan
THREAD.
3 years ago, with no warning, a brilliant orange farm cat wandered over from the draughty barn where he had been living, in rural Cornwall, and decided he wanted to live with us instead.
We decided to call him Jim.
This is the first photo I took of him, on that night: December 1st, 2022.
3 years ago, with no warning, a brilliant orange farm cat wandered over from the draughty barn where he had been living, in rural Cornwall, and decided he wanted to live with us instead.
We decided to call him Jim.
This is the first photo I took of him, on that night: December 1st, 2022.
November 26, 2025 at 8:44 PM
THREAD.
3 years ago, with no warning, a brilliant orange farm cat wandered over from the draughty barn where he had been living, in rural Cornwall, and decided he wanted to live with us instead.
We decided to call him Jim.
This is the first photo I took of him, on that night: December 1st, 2022.
3 years ago, with no warning, a brilliant orange farm cat wandered over from the draughty barn where he had been living, in rural Cornwall, and decided he wanted to live with us instead.
We decided to call him Jim.
This is the first photo I took of him, on that night: December 1st, 2022.
Reposted by Alan
Last Thanksgiving, two Dallas Police officers knocked on my door, citing a tip from the FBI national threat operations center that I was beating my girlfriend. The incident report confirms this. Today, I obtained a file from the FBI via FOIA that states the FBI has no record of receiving such a tip.
November 18, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Last Thanksgiving, two Dallas Police officers knocked on my door, citing a tip from the FBI national threat operations center that I was beating my girlfriend. The incident report confirms this. Today, I obtained a file from the FBI via FOIA that states the FBI has no record of receiving such a tip.
Reposted by Alan
Reposted by Alan
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
November 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
Reposted by Alan
Dude, general strike.
September 18, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Dude, general strike.
Reposted by Alan
September 11, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Reposted by Alan
September 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by Alan
*gently to my cat*: you cant be a little fucker. You have to be good. No more being a little fucker.
*My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near
*My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near
August 29, 2025 at 2:43 PM
*gently to my cat*: you cant be a little fucker. You have to be good. No more being a little fucker.
*My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near
*My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near
Reposted by Alan
“Luka” peaks at #3 today in 1987 — a song for which Suzanne Vega said she once received a fan letter:
Dear Suzanne,
Luka is the most compelling piece of music I’ve heard in a long time. There are no words 2 tell U all the things I feel when I hear it.
I thank God 4 U,
Prince
Dear Suzanne,
Luka is the most compelling piece of music I’ve heard in a long time. There are no words 2 tell U all the things I feel when I hear it.
I thank God 4 U,
Prince
August 23, 2025 at 1:03 AM
“Luka” peaks at #3 today in 1987 — a song for which Suzanne Vega said she once received a fan letter:
Dear Suzanne,
Luka is the most compelling piece of music I’ve heard in a long time. There are no words 2 tell U all the things I feel when I hear it.
I thank God 4 U,
Prince
Dear Suzanne,
Luka is the most compelling piece of music I’ve heard in a long time. There are no words 2 tell U all the things I feel when I hear it.
I thank God 4 U,
Prince
Reposted by Alan
Post images & videos of the inside your house at your peril.
This new tool uses pictures taken inside your house to identify your exact location.
As a service.
It will be abused to target people.
For theft. Stalking. And worse.
This new tool uses pictures taken inside your house to identify your exact location.
As a service.
It will be abused to target people.
For theft. Stalking. And worse.
August 13, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Post images & videos of the inside your house at your peril.
This new tool uses pictures taken inside your house to identify your exact location.
As a service.
It will be abused to target people.
For theft. Stalking. And worse.
This new tool uses pictures taken inside your house to identify your exact location.
As a service.
It will be abused to target people.
For theft. Stalking. And worse.
Reposted by Alan
Wasn’t expecting that….love it 🔥….the kids are alright!
May 3, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Wasn’t expecting that….love it 🔥….the kids are alright!
Reposted by Alan
Cat looks like he just called Drake a pedophile
April 19, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Cat looks like he just called Drake a pedophile
Reposted by Alan
I made the mistake of meeting one of my cat’s demands and now he has more.
November 26, 2024 at 4:38 AM
I made the mistake of meeting one of my cat’s demands and now he has more.
Reposted by Alan
Are you interested in giving a digital privacy/security training in your community? You should check out the Security Education Companion for teaching materials and tips: www.securityeducationcompanion.org
www.securityeducationcompanion.org
November 12, 2024 at 6:53 PM
Are you interested in giving a digital privacy/security training in your community? You should check out the Security Education Companion for teaching materials and tips: www.securityeducationcompanion.org