Aspartame Valerian
@aspartame.bsky.social
>INVENTORY
You are carrying cup of coffee, tiny dog, stack of books, way too much information about hollow earth theory
You are carrying cup of coffee, tiny dog, stack of books, way too much information about hollow earth theory
Pinned
Reposted by Aspartame Valerian
April 2026: Flushing the grinch
December 13, 2025 at 5:39 PM
April 2026: Flushing the grinch
Two pots of coffee and the world is my bitch.
December 13, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Two pots of coffee and the world is my bitch.
Currently exercising my choppers on some good hard food.
December 12, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Currently exercising my choppers on some good hard food.
Using my one opportunity with a time machine to go back and mock French ice dorks. www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the...
The Ice-Skating Dandies of 18th-Century Paris
The frozen fields were home to tight pants and graceful, showy moves.
www.atlasobscura.com
December 12, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Using my one opportunity with a time machine to go back and mock French ice dorks. www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the...
This office is full of notebook sickos who scribble feverishly at every presentation regardless of who it is or what they are talking about.
December 11, 2025 at 5:08 PM
This office is full of notebook sickos who scribble feverishly at every presentation regardless of who it is or what they are talking about.
Nick-nog
The bones of Santa have been leaking liquid for 1,700 years.
December 9, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Nick-nog
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch—who lived just north of Whoville— thought Christmas was for trick-ass hos.
December 7, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch—who lived just north of Whoville— thought Christmas was for trick-ass hos.
I’m discovering that Commando is both a very dumb movie and one with surprising gender politics.
December 6, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I’m discovering that Commando is both a very dumb movie and one with surprising gender politics.
I wiil keep resisting the clickbaity ads that show me tantalizing pics of strange, Seussical contraptions being touted as this year's hottest Christmas gifts but I really want to know what the thingbobulators do!
December 4, 2025 at 6:30 PM
I wiil keep resisting the clickbaity ads that show me tantalizing pics of strange, Seussical contraptions being touted as this year's hottest Christmas gifts but I really want to know what the thingbobulators do!
Apparently it’s trivia night. I fucked up.
An angry Irish hostess just forcefully sat me in a seat at the bar being saved by another woman for her friend and now I am awash in bad vibes from my left.
December 3, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Apparently it’s trivia night. I fucked up.
An angry Irish hostess just forcefully sat me in a seat at the bar being saved by another woman for her friend and now I am awash in bad vibes from my left.
December 3, 2025 at 11:36 PM
An angry Irish hostess just forcefully sat me in a seat at the bar being saved by another woman for her friend and now I am awash in bad vibes from my left.
Need a new word for the sense of accomplishment I feel at eating a bag of Cheetos and not getting orange powder on my white shirt. "Pride" doesn't seem appropriate.
December 3, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Need a new word for the sense of accomplishment I feel at eating a bag of Cheetos and not getting orange powder on my white shirt. "Pride" doesn't seem appropriate.
Welcome to our list of the 400 best books of the year. There's something here for everyone. 302 are about moms with Alzheimer's.
December 3, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Welcome to our list of the 400 best books of the year. There's something here for everyone. 302 are about moms with Alzheimer's.
If I have to remember chap-hop then you do, too.
December 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
If I have to remember chap-hop then you do, too.
right ear: none
left ear: beef
left ear: beef
November 30, 2025 at 12:38 PM
right ear: none
left ear: beef
left ear: beef
The banana bread wanter
November 29, 2025 at 1:04 PM
The banana bread wanter
Reposted by Aspartame Valerian
uncle after two beers: i built a resident evil style research facility under my farmhouse
November 28, 2025 at 12:47 AM
uncle after two beers: i built a resident evil style research facility under my farmhouse
Back to being thankless.
November 28, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Back to being thankless.
There should be a Pip balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Life-size.
November 27, 2025 at 3:13 PM
There should be a Pip balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Life-size.
Reposted by Aspartame Valerian
my desires are...unconventional
November 26, 2025 at 5:31 PM
my desires are...unconventional
Happy birthday, @alexandraknew.bsky.social!
November 27, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Happy birthday, @alexandraknew.bsky.social!