I just came here real quick to dunk on all of y'all. My wife feels so comfortable with me she bought me a gun, and if that doesn't sum up the type of relationship we have, idk what does 🫶🩷
June 30, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I just came here real quick to dunk on all of y'all. My wife feels so comfortable with me she bought me a gun, and if that doesn't sum up the type of relationship we have, idk what does 🫶🩷
It's fkn going down tonight
May 26, 2025 at 2:30 AM
It's fkn going down tonight
If the Taun taun in Empire Strikes Back died from the cold on Hoth, how did it still have enough body warmth to save Luke's life?
May 5, 2025 at 3:03 AM
If the Taun taun in Empire Strikes Back died from the cold on Hoth, how did it still have enough body warmth to save Luke's life?
Been a long day. Gonna have a cup of coffee and take a nap
March 24, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Been a long day. Gonna have a cup of coffee and take a nap
Is it time yet, for replacing the term "dumpster fire" with "tesla fire"
March 19, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Is it time yet, for replacing the term "dumpster fire" with "tesla fire"
Sorry i haven't been around lately, i somehow wandered into the "hot girl clown" side of TikTok and it's kind of a wrap now tbh
February 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Sorry i haven't been around lately, i somehow wandered into the "hot girl clown" side of TikTok and it's kind of a wrap now tbh
Been farting a lot today, if you even care
February 25, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Been farting a lot today, if you even care
My mom and mother in law are in town to visit, and well, to let you in on how is going, I'm currently in bed (pull out couch in the living room) in my jeans and I've accepted that this is going to happen. i will stay like this until tomorrow.
February 23, 2025 at 5:58 AM
My mom and mother in law are in town to visit, and well, to let you in on how is going, I'm currently in bed (pull out couch in the living room) in my jeans and I've accepted that this is going to happen. i will stay like this until tomorrow.
"Whatever bro, i sucked 100 dicks last night like a champ, you probably tap out after 4"
the sluttiest thing a man can do is suck 50 dicks in a night and then lie about it like a slut
February 23, 2025 at 12:10 AM
"Whatever bro, i sucked 100 dicks last night like a champ, you probably tap out after 4"
Nothing says efficiency like micromanaging
February 23, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Nothing says efficiency like micromanaging
Reposted by Azazel
my wife and I saw you from across the bar and were trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty
February 14, 2025 at 2:16 PM
my wife and I saw you from across the bar and were trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty
FYI: not liking my skeets makes me more powerful
February 3, 2025 at 3:50 PM
FYI: not liking my skeets makes me more powerful
I always say "the juice is loose" when i cum
February 2, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I always say "the juice is loose" when i cum
We got an inch of snow last night and every single one of my coworkers called out today so my supervisor said they didn't have enough ppl to open the store today.
Y'all can make fun of Texans all you want, but i get to stay home now and eat pastries and maybe make soup
Y'all can make fun of Texans all you want, but i get to stay home now and eat pastries and maybe make soup
January 21, 2025 at 4:51 PM
We got an inch of snow last night and every single one of my coworkers called out today so my supervisor said they didn't have enough ppl to open the store today.
Y'all can make fun of Texans all you want, but i get to stay home now and eat pastries and maybe make soup
Y'all can make fun of Texans all you want, but i get to stay home now and eat pastries and maybe make soup
I turn around for 2 seconds, come back here and all y'all are boofing hams and whatnot.
December 29, 2024 at 4:57 AM
I turn around for 2 seconds, come back here and all y'all are boofing hams and whatnot.
Got pyrite in matrix bc ya boii on the nice list
December 25, 2024 at 6:26 PM
Got pyrite in matrix bc ya boii on the nice list
I'm like if Santa Claus was concealing a knife.
December 25, 2024 at 6:23 PM
I'm like if Santa Claus was concealing a knife.
Speaking Christmas cheer like it's my buttcheeks
spreading Christmas cheer like it’s syphilis.
December 24, 2024 at 9:39 PM
Speaking Christmas cheer like it's my buttcheeks
Wanted to do a bone-in ham for our Christmas dinner, but i couldn't find one in any of my local grocery stores. Had to put the bone in myself.
December 24, 2024 at 2:22 PM
Wanted to do a bone-in ham for our Christmas dinner, but i couldn't find one in any of my local grocery stores. Had to put the bone in myself.
Reposted by Azazel
Boxing themed hair salon named Bobs and Weaves
December 19, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Boxing themed hair salon named Bobs and Weaves
Maybe i shouldn't start this right now...too late
December 13, 2024 at 4:11 AM
Maybe i shouldn't start this right now...too late
Reposted by Azazel
i have to thrift bc i’m a bitch i’m a lover i’m a child i’m a mother i’m a sinner i’m a saint and they do not share the same aesthetic.
December 11, 2024 at 11:16 PM
i have to thrift bc i’m a bitch i’m a lover i’m a child i’m a mother i’m a sinner i’m a saint and they do not share the same aesthetic.
I ejaculate. That's it, that's the skeet.
December 9, 2024 at 10:05 PM
I ejaculate. That's it, that's the skeet.
Jimmy cracked corn and i couldn't give 2 fucks
December 9, 2024 at 10:04 PM
Jimmy cracked corn and i couldn't give 2 fucks