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🍂 beagle 🥧

@beagle.bsky.social

2.3K followers 2.9K following 7.1K posts

a genderqueer monkey that's figured out how to use every single computer program i am without the binery, they/them put alt-text on your memes! portland, oregon

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Apr 5

it might seem like i repost a lot, but once you've created a secret mindpalace of all your posts' most unique identifying keywords, it's not so much effort to find them

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🔥📚 Sodome & Gomorrhe 📚🔥 @sodomeetgomorrhe.com · 28m

Bientôt ils vont nous empêcher de buter des nazis dans les jeux.

Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 7h

It's now considered controversial to fight the KKK in a video game.

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 49m

i think i was radicalized into rhyming poetry after meeting a middle aged man-poet, who pointed to his bookshelf of published works and said, "i don't believe in rhyming poetry. that's for kids"

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 52m

every time i write poetry, this plays on repeat in my head

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Apr 5

i think that someday this technology will revolutionize journalism

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Oct 28

when a thing happens, journalists and organizers from those places will skeet about it.

if you follow these people, you can know things about far away places, without having to travel there.

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 59m

don't you feel really thirsty? gosh, your ass is kind of sore from sitting for so long. when was the last time you peed?

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

it would be like accusing the spartans of not being a free society. have you not seen 300? their perfect philosopher king talks all about it

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

it would be like accusing the spartans of not being a free society. have you not seen 300? their perfect philosopher king talks all about it

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 2h

jay's already a libertarian, a verifiable freedom lover, where else is there to go? /s

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 1h

Death seems the only desirable sequel for a career like this

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

🎶 i fought emus, and the 'mus won 🎶

Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 2h

Never forget that Australia went to war with emus in 1932 and the emus won

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Jun 24

shoutout to the people who like my skeets before i delete and edit them.

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

people often ask why we don’t act on off-platform evidence of mermaid cannibalism when investigating reports. here’s an example of how we don't believe trans women are really women. 1/9

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 2h

I support free speech, but I also think Bluesky should ban anyone that says eating the lower half of a mermaid is not cannibalism

I don’t care if genetically it’s fish flesh not human, in my book it still counts as cannibalism and I expect this platform to uphold that fact

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

i only know run the jewels only loosely,
but appreciate how they alliterate: so profusely,
belching baudy bars, gritty gross and goofy

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Apr 19

i practice writing almost solely to improve a single metric:

how much can i alliterate before people want to hurt me

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Mar 21

you've got playground vibes
you're a rhetorical hack
your logic's so shallow
chatgpt could pick up the slack

you wanna sound nice
but your lips, they just flap
you're kissing my cheek?
i'd rather my crack

you wanna offer advice
keep me on a safe path?
best step over me
and spare your mama's back

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Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Apr 19

a petty poet bristles, brushed aside,
by your accumulated lies,
but here i am, stuck like a thistle.

you hear this whistle? better hide,
calculate intersecting lines,
i know my target, i'm a missile.

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 1h

tried on a wig. it was like, wow, i look totally different

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · Jun 14

how many self described anarcho capitalists would survive 12hrs serving food on an LA freeway during a protest

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Sarah Lawton @sarahelawton.bsky.social · 1d

“One of the chants that has become ubiquitous at these protests at Broadview is, ‘Love your neighbor, love your God, save your soul and quit your job,’” said Black, who pastors at the First Presbyterian Church of Chicago. “Everybody chants that.” ⚓️

Jack Jenkins @jackjenkins.me · 1d

Wanna learn more about the pastor in this photo?

I talked to him yesterday.

He's currently part of a lawsuit against DHS, in part due to this exact moment: religionnews.com/2025/10/07/i...

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Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

LGBTQ Nation @lgbtqnation.com · 1d

Gavin Newsom vetoes gender education bill, declines to sign other trans protections - buff.ly/MTUAV85

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 2h

my secret talent is that i can say "how much chuck could a chuckwood chuck if a chuckwood could chuck wood?" ten time fast. i've trained for it. no biggie.

Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 2h

Dan brown was my generations Q

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 2h

Blue Man Group with a speech bubble as if they were speaking the quoted post text

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 2h

jay's already a libertarian, a verifiable freedom lover, where else is there to go? /s

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Reposted by 🍂 beagle 🥧

Stephanie Kollmann @slkollmann.bsky.social · 3h

"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"

Disney animation version of Maid Marian, Robin Hood's fox gf

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🍂 beagle 🥧 @beagle.bsky.social · 2h

*looking at the calendar and choosing not to make a joke*

Reconstructionist @unavaleable.bsky.social · 8h

kinda wild how we're leaping straight to late Ceausescu

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 9h

Trump: "I don't know what could be worse than Portland. You don't even have stores anymore. They don't even put glass up. They put plywood on their windows."