Did y'all know that before the crowbar was invented, crows just drank at home 🥴🥴🤣🤣

Happy Sunday y'all

The bok stops there.

Good morning and happy Saturday. Ordering 30,000 real eggs to waste rolling down the lawn of the White House on a Christian holiday, during an egg shortage, after promising to lower the price of eggs, is the peak analogy of this administration. He spits in their faces and they moisturize with it.

Note to self: set the coffee cup down prior to sneezing.

Embrace your inner cat. Eat. Sleep. Go out and hate it. Come back home and hate it more. Rest. Repeat.

Here's some advice. Not using his name will help to avoid trolls...

Friday the 13th is on Monday this month, in case you care.

This.

“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”

My sentiments

After hearing how eating too much sugar and carbohydrates affects the human body I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to

I bet being told you're good at making toys does wonders for your elf esteem

To all you folks who like Eggs Benedict, I wish you
Happy Hollandaise.

Campbell’s witty response to this homophobe makes me want to enjoy some of their delicious chicken noodle soup right now! 🍜 🏳️‍🌈

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose.

Other signs of his alcoholism included dizziness and chronic reckless behavior.

I tried to impress our dinner guests with a sauce made from vodka, gravy & nitrous oxide but all I've done is make myself an Absolut laughing stock.

If you have a cat, the route you take through your house is determined by the cat, not you.