bri-"pumpkin pie"-ween 🥧
@briween.bsky.social
something something simpsons reference
📷 pfp credit: scottlava.bsky.social
📷 pfp credit: scottlava.bsky.social
Pinned
by the end of my life i will have spent hundreds of hours failing to convince automated faucets where my fucking hands are
factory farm ceo: think of it this way, now everybody gets all the eggs they want AND a FREE dollop of rat feces
waymo ceo: we plan for fatal crashes and society will learn to accept them
roblox ceo: kids must be preyed upon and victimized as a necessary consequence of scale
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HEADS ON PIKES
roblox ceo: kids must be preyed upon and victimized as a necessary consequence of scale
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HEADS ON PIKES
November 21, 2025 at 8:09 PM
factory farm ceo: think of it this way, now everybody gets all the eggs they want AND a FREE dollop of rat feces
spaghettin' it on
full of pasta and ready to fuck
November 18, 2025 at 12:11 AM
spaghettin' it on
[me]
🎣
|
|
|
|
🪝
[rage bait]
🎣
|
|
|
|
🪝
[rage bait]
November 14, 2025 at 6:46 PM
[me]
🎣
|
|
|
|
🪝
[rage bait]
🎣
|
|
|
|
🪝
[rage bait]
if i negotiated with the democrats i could get them to give me just about anything -- except, apparently, new democrats
I don’t know how anyone could make a coherent case that democrats even understand the concepts of leverage, negotiating, or deception
NEWS: Senate Republicans are threatening to block the extension of Affordable Care Act subsidies—unless Democrats agree to tougher abortion restrictions.
November 12, 2025 at 12:52 AM
if i negotiated with the democrats i could get them to give me just about anything -- except, apparently, new democrats
that's why mine says "GNIHTYREVE KCUF"
Sometimes I feel like half the country has that Memento disease and we all need to start writing things on our fucking bodies
November 10, 2025 at 2:22 AM
that's why mine says "GNIHTYREVE KCUF"
if the bread is toasted, the bail must be posted
The defense team presses Lairmore on whether the sandwich really 'exploded.' They return to the photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground.
"That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks.
"It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.
"That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks.
"It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.
November 4, 2025 at 5:52 PM
if the bread is toasted, the bail must be posted
let's see ai try to write this shit
no fucking way
no fucking way
Still thinking about that Pages catch that should have been a disaster. That wedged ball from last night. Error after error after error. A Kershaw inning. An 18 inning war of attrition. An extra innings game 7. Shohei Ohtani & Mookie Betts DOG SHIT. WILL KLEIN?!??!
How did this happen?!?!
How did this happen?!?!
November 2, 2025 at 5:09 AM
let's see ai try to write this shit
no fucking way
no fucking way
jesus: what's with all the prayers is there a game on
November 2, 2025 at 4:16 AM
jesus: what's with all the prayers is there a game on
i can't can't
i can't breathe
i can't look
November 2, 2025 at 4:15 AM
i can't can't
will smith is the unspoken mvp of this postseason ⚾💥
November 2, 2025 at 4:07 AM
will smith is the unspoken mvp of this postseason ⚾💥
i can't breathe
i can't look
November 2, 2025 at 3:39 AM
i can't breathe
is someone banging trash cans in toronto or what
November 2, 2025 at 1:04 AM
is someone banging trash cans in toronto or what
starting to hallucinate about whether our entire universe exists within a giant baseball being used to play an even longer baseball game
October 28, 2025 at 6:01 AM
starting to hallucinate about whether our entire universe exists within a giant baseball being used to play an even longer baseball game
seriously guys the stadium is running out of dirt
October 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
seriously guys the stadium is running out of dirt
we have all pitched today and batted today and all of life is a teardrop
we
are
baseball
we
are
baseball
Wait Glasnow pitched TODAY?!?!?!?
October 28, 2025 at 5:49 AM
we have all pitched today and batted today and all of life is a teardrop
we
are
baseball
we
are
baseball
if this world series game never ends did it ever really start
October 28, 2025 at 5:46 AM
if this world series game never ends did it ever really start
no exit vibes
Oh my god I was literally just trying to compose a post about existentialism LMAO
15 innings of baseball is a Sartre level event.
October 28, 2025 at 5:44 AM
no exit vibes
"a.d." and "b.c." no longer apply to the historical record. years will now be measured as either "before game 3" or "after game 3"
October 28, 2025 at 5:29 AM
"a.d." and "b.c." no longer apply to the historical record. years will now be measured as either "before game 3" or "after game 3"
happy monday!
hot tip: start your week with a cheerful tune. i recommend singing "always look on the bright side of life" with every lyric replaced with "fuck."
hot tip: start your week with a cheerful tune. i recommend singing "always look on the bright side of life" with every lyric replaced with "fuck."
October 27, 2025 at 4:39 PM
happy monday!
hot tip: start your week with a cheerful tune. i recommend singing "always look on the bright side of life" with every lyric replaced with "fuck."
hot tip: start your week with a cheerful tune. i recommend singing "always look on the bright side of life" with every lyric replaced with "fuck."
be wary of a bullshit economy.
a bearshit economy is close behind.
a bearshit economy is close behind.
October 22, 2025 at 8:29 AM
be wary of a bullshit economy.
a bearshit economy is close behind.
a bearshit economy is close behind.
some nights you just want a cheeseburger like
October 22, 2025 at 5:02 AM
some nights you just want a cheeseburger like
when we all said they should re-open the government, we should have been more specific
October 21, 2025 at 12:09 AM
when we all said they should re-open the government, we should have been more specific