Simon
@broomwagon.bsky.social
750 followers 900 following 5.6K posts
Dad, dog owner, cycling, football and coffee nerd. Appeared on a regional TV quiz show in 1987, so basically an A lister. My motto: always give 100%. Unless you are giving blood. Bin day is Thursdays.
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broomwagon.bsky.social
I can't believe you turned it down. The prize comes with tickets for 2 to Chessington World of Adventures*

*midweek, no cash equivalent. food not included.
broomwagon.bsky.social
My wife has bought me a bottle of M & S Coffee Liqueur so I can make White Russians. I thought it tasted odd, here are the ingredients: Demineralised Water, Sugar, Alcohol, Caramel, Natural Flavouring, Natural Colour: Plain Caramel, Cocoa, Concentrated Lemon Juice. Notice anything missing?
Reposted by Simon
dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social
Put on some nice clothes but then looked out the window and immediately felt like a man of slovenly appearance.
A male mandarin duck on the balcony outside my old kitchen, sizing up the women in the river below.

That's not true. When I lived in that house there were always about five male mandarin ducks competing for one female. 

These - and the mergansers at the same place - muscled their way into my novel Villager, which I wrote most of while renting this house.
broomwagon.bsky.social
and it takes 3 x AAA batteries. not included.
alisonfisk.bsky.social
The Royal Game of Ur is the world’s oldest playable boardgame!

Played by Sumerians in ancient Mesopotamia about 4,500 years ago!

It is a two-player race game, the rules of which have been deciphered from a cuneiform tablet.

Game from the Royal Cemetery of Ur. 📷 British Museum

#Archaeology
British Museum photo showing a two-player board game with gaming counters known as the Royal Game of Ur. Dated c. 2,500 BC.

The game board is composed of a hollow box made of wood adorned with shell plaques. There is a drawer at one end for storing game pieces and dice. The top of the board is covered with twenty square-shaped off-white shell plaques, each bordered with dark-blue lapis lazuli. The shell squares are intricately decorated with blue inlaid patterns including dots inside circles and eye-shapes. Five squares are inlaid with flower-shaped rosettes with red limestone and blue lapis lazuli petals.

The game board is roughly rectangular in shape. Viewed from above in the photo, on the  left side of the board is a block of 12 squares made up of 4 across by 3 down. On the right side of the board is a block of 6 squares made up of 2 across by 3 down. The two blocks are joined by two squares extending between the second square down on the end row of the left block and the second square down on the first row of the second block.  

Dimensions H: 2.40 cm,  L: 30.10 cm, W: 11 cm, (W 5.70 cm at narrowest part)

Beneath the board are 14 disc-shaped gaming counters. On the left are 7 white pieces, inlaid with 5 spots of blue lapis lazuli. On the right are 7 black pieces inlaid with five white spots.

Between the game pieces are three tetrahedron-shaped dice. L to R: Dark blue, brown, cream.
broomwagon.bsky.social
Blimey, it would be very easy to toss yourself off there
Reposted by Simon
craiguito.bsky.social
In olden times people used 'hath' and 'doth' for 'has' and 'does' because they lost their teeth much earlier.
Reposted by Simon
johnlyon.bsky.social
Me: Is there something I could do differently to improve my sleep?

Doctor: I recommend not looking at your phone for at least an hour before bed.

Me: So nothing then.
broomwagon.bsky.social
It’s ridiculous isn’t it. When Liverpool narrowly beat them thanks to one tremendous free kick a lot of the think pieces were about how Arsenal’s season was over, they couldn’t possibly win anything because of their safety first approach. Yadda yadda yadda.
broomwagon.bsky.social
We had that UAE up here yesterday. Bit faster I thought.
Reposted by Simon
timoconnorbl.bsky.social
There comes a point where a team just has to accept it and lean into it, you know?
broomwagon.bsky.social
Why are people in the States making a fuss about our FA. Sure, they have messed around with kick off times and they need to tackle ticket prices but this Antifa movement seems to be a bit over the top. What about a bit of Profa maybe, eh?
broomwagon.bsky.social
He does look like he is the product of a family tree that resembles a telegraph pole.
Reposted by Simon
fxmc1957.bsky.social
FACT OF THE DAY. 9 October 1974. Oskar Schindler died (aged 66). He’s credited with saving at least 1,200 Jews from death during the Holocaust. His story featured in the Hollywood film Schindler’s List.
broomwagon.bsky.social
This photo captures the exact moment each of them saw an actual girl, after years of attending a single sex boarding school.
Photos of some concerning looking young conservatives
broomwagon.bsky.social
I am doing my best not to think that is the case but it would explain some of the totally dominant performances, I am still clinging to the hope that it is because they have been able to select the best riders, provide them with the best training and nutrition but, given the history of the sport…
broomwagon.bsky.social
I was being deliberately daft. Sorry not sorry.
Reposted by Simon
quantick.bsky.social
I wish someone online would point out some hypocrisy or inconsistent behaviour because only then will we have real change.
broomwagon.bsky.social
Wait, so you froze your laundry liquid?
Reposted by Simon
sheena-mck.bsky.social
This made me laugh more than it probably should 😂
#funny
Reposted by Simon
glennyrodge.bsky.social
What do we want?
Motorbike noises.
When do we want it?
Nnnyyyyyowwww.
broomwagon.bsky.social
Ok, fair enough.
broomwagon.bsky.social
I have just listened to the Rest is Entertainment special episode which came out as soon as the telly episode finished. That is worth a listen