Crattler
@cjrattler.bsky.social
Would someone please just give AgentForce™️ to Matthew McConaughey? The poor guy is no longer able to function as an adult without it.
January 8, 2026 at 9:42 PM
Would someone please just give AgentForce™️ to Matthew McConaughey? The poor guy is no longer able to function as an adult without it.
Reposted by Crattler
like 75% of dem messaging right now should be “the party led by epsteins best friend is breaking into pre-k childcare centers so they can record your toddlers and put the videos on internet”
uhhh yeah I can see why these childcare properties weren't eager to let in some rando dudes asking "where are the kids?"
January 1, 2026 at 2:49 PM
like 75% of dem messaging right now should be “the party led by epsteins best friend is breaking into pre-k childcare centers so they can record your toddlers and put the videos on internet”
Reposted by Crattler
had other responsibilities tonight so gave up on waiting for this, assumed the toaster was broken, instead we had what was clearly a rewriting of the script? he certainly did not stick the landing.
December 28, 2025 at 5:36 AM
had other responsibilities tonight so gave up on waiting for this, assumed the toaster was broken, instead we had what was clearly a rewriting of the script? he certainly did not stick the landing.
Reposted by Crattler
uhhh yeah I can see why these childcare properties weren't eager to let in some rando dudes asking "where are the kids?"
December 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
uhhh yeah I can see why these childcare properties weren't eager to let in some rando dudes asking "where are the kids?"
Reposted by Crattler
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
November 15, 2025 at 5:04 PM
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
Reposted by Crattler
South Carolina scores a TD to extend its lead over No. 3 Texas A&M (it's now 30-3 at halftime) and then deals with a shoulder check from a Texas state trooper. 🏈 👮♂️ #CFB
November 15, 2025 at 6:48 PM
South Carolina scores a TD to extend its lead over No. 3 Texas A&M (it's now 30-3 at halftime) and then deals with a shoulder check from a Texas state trooper. 🏈 👮♂️ #CFB
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Wemby goes off the glass to himself for a slam 👽
November 15, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Wemby goes off the glass to himself for a slam 👽
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I am dyyyyyying at how low Wemby has to crouch to push into Draymond’s shoulders. 😆
This is simply BRILLIANT basketball television. Draymond trying absolutely EVERYTHING. But Wemby is inevitable.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
November 15, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I am dyyyyyying at how low Wemby has to crouch to push into Draymond’s shoulders. 😆
Reposted by Crattler
This is simply BRILLIANT basketball television. Draymond trying absolutely EVERYTHING. But Wemby is inevitable.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
November 15, 2025 at 4:50 AM
This is simply BRILLIANT basketball television. Draymond trying absolutely EVERYTHING. But Wemby is inevitable.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
Kevin Harlan on the call is chef's kiss.
Reposted by Crattler
Reposted by Crattler
In case you missed it - Wazzu @ Virginia. Wazzu signals for a fair catch, but a different player catches the ball.
That puts the ball at inside the 5, which sets up the game winning safety by Virginia.
That puts the ball at inside the 5, which sets up the game winning safety by Virginia.
October 20, 2025 at 12:27 AM
In case you missed it - Wazzu @ Virginia. Wazzu signals for a fair catch, but a different player catches the ball.
That puts the ball at inside the 5, which sets up the game winning safety by Virginia.
That puts the ball at inside the 5, which sets up the game winning safety by Virginia.
Reposted by Crattler
Reposted by Crattler
Twins have a 1,191-1,299 (.478) record in the 16 seasons of the Target Field era, which ranks 24th out of 30 teams.
They've missed the playoffs in 11 of 16 seasons, including 4 of the last 5.
They've lost 90+ games in 6 of 16 seasons.
They've won 90+ games in 2 of 16 seasons.
They've missed the playoffs in 11 of 16 seasons, including 4 of the last 5.
They've lost 90+ games in 6 of 16 seasons.
They've won 90+ games in 2 of 16 seasons.
September 29, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Twins have a 1,191-1,299 (.478) record in the 16 seasons of the Target Field era, which ranks 24th out of 30 teams.
They've missed the playoffs in 11 of 16 seasons, including 4 of the last 5.
They've lost 90+ games in 6 of 16 seasons.
They've won 90+ games in 2 of 16 seasons.
They've missed the playoffs in 11 of 16 seasons, including 4 of the last 5.
They've lost 90+ games in 6 of 16 seasons.
They've won 90+ games in 2 of 16 seasons.
Reposted by Crattler
All 13 touchdowns the Coast Guard Bears scored today against Nichols:
September 21, 2025 at 1:22 AM
All 13 touchdowns the Coast Guard Bears scored today against Nichols:
Reposted by Crattler
Pudge like me rn.
September 20, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Pudge like me rn.
Reposted by Crattler
Referee: "Holding, offense, number 64"
Number 64: "FUCK!"
Number 64: "FUCK!"
September 6, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Referee: "Holding, offense, number 64"
Number 64: "FUCK!"
Number 64: "FUCK!"
Reposted by Crattler
Pudge has an entourage now.
September 6, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Pudge has an entourage now.
Reposted by Crattler
BREAKING: Pudge the Cat is on the ground in Cincy.
September 6, 2025 at 4:17 PM
BREAKING: Pudge the Cat is on the ground in Cincy.
Reposted by Crattler
The 'College GameDay' crew rocks Lee Corso headgear on ESPN. 🏈📺🎙️
August 30, 2025 at 2:20 PM
The 'College GameDay' crew rocks Lee Corso headgear on ESPN. 🏈📺🎙️
Reposted by Crattler
July 8, 1984: Alvin Robertson "comes out of the roof" for a putback dunk over Bill Walton during an exhibition game between the U.S. men's Olympic basketball team and a team of NBA players at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City.
The U.S. Olympians defeated the NBA squad, 92-79.
The U.S. Olympians defeated the NBA squad, 92-79.
July 8, 2025 at 1:55 PM
July 8, 1984: Alvin Robertson "comes out of the roof" for a putback dunk over Bill Walton during an exhibition game between the U.S. men's Olympic basketball team and a team of NBA players at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City.
The U.S. Olympians defeated the NBA squad, 92-79.
The U.S. Olympians defeated the NBA squad, 92-79.
Reposted by Crattler
Portland's Yang Hansen pick is going to be laughed at around the league; it's one of the more shocking picks of the past decade-plus. Was also told by sources that a few agents were intentionally not sending their guys there because they didn't love the current state of the franchise.
June 26, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Portland's Yang Hansen pick is going to be laughed at around the league; it's one of the more shocking picks of the past decade-plus. Was also told by sources that a few agents were intentionally not sending their guys there because they didn't love the current state of the franchise.
Nembhard is going back to the huddle and telling Coach “Dentyne”. @nba.com #NBAFinals
June 14, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Nembhard is going back to the huddle and telling Coach “Dentyne”. @nba.com #NBAFinals
Reposted by Crattler
@cjzero.bsky.social I think the camera guy biffed it
May 17, 2025 at 8:14 PM
@cjzero.bsky.social I think the camera guy biffed it
Reposted by Crattler
Timothee Chalamet brought a camera, love it
May 1, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Timothee Chalamet brought a camera, love it