Clandestine Omelette
@clandestine-om.bsky.social
an elite secretive egg-based breakfast dish engaging in general tomfoolery in a covert fashion. runs on coffee and memes. loves dogs. will bite if provoked.
Pinned
this week, the president of the united states openly committed an impeachable offense, and nobody did anything to stop him or hold him accountable.
i can re-post this weekly, and it will still be relevant. so will the fact that you won't know which of the *several* i'm talking about.
each *week.*
i can re-post this weekly, and it will still be relevant. so will the fact that you won't know which of the *several* i'm talking about.
each *week.*
Reposted by Clandestine Omelette
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, and post the second sentence.
“In other words, there's more than one way to go on an ego trip.”
“In other words, there's more than one way to go on an ego trip.”
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, and post the second sentence.
“When he stepped outside, she was not in front of the bookshop where he had left her.”
“When he stepped outside, she was not in front of the bookshop where he had left her.”
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, and post the second sentence.
“I was so clear.”
“I was so clear.”
January 22, 2026 at 6:43 PM
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, and post the second sentence.
“In other words, there's more than one way to go on an ego trip.”
“In other words, there's more than one way to go on an ego trip.”
Reposted by Clandestine Omelette
right now the floor for me is abolish ICE and put every agent on trial and the average elected democrat is like what if we told them to cut it out
January 22, 2026 at 12:31 AM
right now the floor for me is abolish ICE and put every agent on trial and the average elected democrat is like what if we told them to cut it out
so my daughter left us all a lovely message in the bathroom mirror. 🥹
January 22, 2026 at 1:12 AM
so my daughter left us all a lovely message in the bathroom mirror. 🥹
Reposted by Clandestine Omelette
Your regular reminder that Republicans in Congress approve of what the President is doing.
January 21, 2026 at 2:31 PM
Your regular reminder that Republicans in Congress approve of what the President is doing.
yeah so is anyone in canada hiring executive assistants?
January 21, 2026 at 3:31 PM
yeah so is anyone in canada hiring executive assistants?
Reposted by Clandestine Omelette
2026 is three weeks old and already Billy Joel could write an entire We Didn’t Start the Fire about it
January 20, 2026 at 3:34 PM
2026 is three weeks old and already Billy Joel could write an entire We Didn’t Start the Fire about it
truly had no clue that when you order extra honey cinnamon butter from texas roadhouse, they send you like a pound of it. I ain't mad about that.
January 11, 2026 at 12:56 AM
truly had no clue that when you order extra honey cinnamon butter from texas roadhouse, they send you like a pound of it. I ain't mad about that.
oh god everyone is circling back
super excited to begin "let's circle back on this after the holidays" season. don't expect to get anything significant done prior to january 5 from here on out.
January 9, 2026 at 7:19 PM
oh god everyone is circling back
he is physically impossible to ignore. a little bit because his head is the weight of a watermelon and he plops it down on you with *purpose.*
January 9, 2026 at 3:40 PM
he is physically impossible to ignore. a little bit because his head is the weight of a watermelon and he plops it down on you with *purpose.*
my new years plans: counting down to the stranger things finale. in bed by like 10.
January 1, 2026 at 12:23 AM
my new years plans: counting down to the stranger things finale. in bed by like 10.
have officially achieved "if omelette made it, then yes, i will definitely eat it" status with my next-door neighbor.
December 24, 2025 at 11:40 PM
have officially achieved "if omelette made it, then yes, i will definitely eat it" status with my next-door neighbor.
my diet will now consist of exactly 50% chocolate and 50% cheese until at least january 2nd.
December 22, 2025 at 8:39 PM
my diet will now consist of exactly 50% chocolate and 50% cheese until at least january 2nd.
check on your type B friends, they haven't wrapped a single thing, and the reason for that is it's all still at the store.
December 20, 2025 at 11:14 PM
check on your type B friends, they haven't wrapped a single thing, and the reason for that is it's all still at the store.
google photos chose violence today because this was obviously YESTERDAY wtf 😭
December 16, 2025 at 3:56 PM
google photos chose violence today because this was obviously YESTERDAY wtf 😭
okay, i knew his post on rob reiner was going to be insanely psychotic but holy FUCK
December 15, 2025 at 3:06 PM
okay, i knew his post on rob reiner was going to be insanely psychotic but holy FUCK
glad i shred my own cheese. let's make america grate again!
December 3, 2025 at 9:04 PM
glad i shred my own cheese. let's make america grate again!
1. go to google.com
2. type in "stranger things" (without quotes)
3. click on the 20-sided die
4. smile
2. type in "stranger things" (without quotes)
3. click on the 20-sided die
4. smile
Google
google.com
December 2, 2025 at 3:11 PM
1. go to google.com
2. type in "stranger things" (without quotes)
3. click on the 20-sided die
4. smile
2. type in "stranger things" (without quotes)
3. click on the 20-sided die
4. smile
currently listening to the latest poor sap to get sucked into the never-ending web of my suite secretary's complete inability to grasp the body language social cue of slowly stepping away to escape and end the conversation as politely as possible.
i'd try to save him...but i don't like him.
i'd try to save him...but i don't like him.
November 25, 2025 at 5:50 PM
currently listening to the latest poor sap to get sucked into the never-ending web of my suite secretary's complete inability to grasp the body language social cue of slowly stepping away to escape and end the conversation as politely as possible.
i'd try to save him...but i don't like him.
i'd try to save him...but i don't like him.