cptnmorganalhurra.bsky.social
@cptnmorganalhurra.bsky.social
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How does one "calm their tits"?
Mine are so agitated.
January 20, 2025 at 10:51 PM
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you must bounce on ittttttttuh crrrrrazy stylllllleuh
January 20, 2025 at 9:18 PM
My partner just BOILED butter in the microwave. BOILED. Butter. I just... there are no words
January 14, 2025 at 3:53 AM
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Four years since my son wrote the best opening to a mystery novel ever written.
January 12, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Finally told my partner about the time I tried to prank him with fart spray and he didn't even notice. I still wonder to this day if he was just farting so much already that he assumed it was his own ass rank
January 12, 2025 at 6:44 PM
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Still not adding him to Gays of Bluesky 🙅
January 12, 2025 at 2:12 PM
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I've watched almost six and a half hours of Godfather movies and this son of a bitch still hasn't fathered God. Well, here's hoping for Part III
January 12, 2025 at 5:02 PM
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The number of gun trace requests from the Mexican government went up 25% between 2021-2023.

Investigators found that 76% of those guns were sold in Southwest border states, Texas and Arizona.

Most ended up in crime scenes in Mexican provinces besieged by transnational criminal organizations.
Texas, Arizona arming Mexican drug cartels
The U.S. and Mexico are working closer than ever to trace the origin of guns used in drug cartel massacres and other crimes south of the border.
www.abc27.com
January 12, 2025 at 2:36 PM
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Movie Fun Fact:

Darth Vader didn’t actually say, “Luke, I am your father.”

The actual line from the movie is, “Guess who your father is, Luke? Never mind, I’ll just tell you. It’s me. That’s right. Me. Darth Vader. The last one you’d expect. Pretty shocking isn’t it?”
January 12, 2025 at 3:21 AM
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4 triple a batteries. I think
January 12, 2025 at 2:10 PM
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wait do we know for sure which one zuck was referring to
January 12, 2025 at 12:04 PM
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Me, teaching: “So, you see, the law is actually just ✨vibes✨”
January 11, 2025 at 9:19 PM
And Purse ibuprofen, work ibuprofen, car ibuprofen. And excedrin in all of the above (gotta have options)
I’m old enough to have upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen. 🎊
January 12, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Was watching a good ole 2008 comedy last night when one character said the Google maps were in his pocket. Realizing how confusing that statement might be for gen z caused my scalp to spontaneously generate gray hairs
#Imtooyoungtobeold
January 12, 2025 at 4:25 PM
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Who wants to meet up and scream and scream
January 12, 2025 at 2:56 PM
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one day i want to decisively win an argument with the retort, “america runs on dunkin’.” i don’t care what the nature of the argument is or which position i have to take
January 12, 2025 at 2:50 PM
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January 12, 2025 at 12:52 PM
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I'm old enough to remember when the idea of a Bond villain seemed kind of cheesy and ridiculous. Could name half a dozen off the top of my head now that would slot right in with very little embellishment required.
January 12, 2025 at 9:41 AM
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What a cliffhanger. Can’t wait for Nosferathree.
January 12, 2025 at 3:57 AM