Computer, define ‘metaphor’.

Are real “football” pubs full of unlikely model couples with team scarves getting overly excited in the direction of a tv that appears to be showing “the big game”, whilst some smug twat on his phone appears to benefit from some sort of baffling odds scenario?

There’s an old tale that Keith Urban and John Legend once formed a duo. Not sure how true it is.

Thinking about how Rod Stewart sings the whole song "Maggie May" to a person who just woke up

maybe the guy who names all the rappers is just tall

Doctor: do you exercise?

Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks

Doctor:

Me: cronchies

Doctor: I'm gonna put no

Me: ok

That time Alicia was no help whatsoever

Watching Gone Fishing always gives me the same feelings:
Mild to medium jealousy that Paul Whitehouse gets to spend so much quality time with Bob Mortimer;
The joy of watching two old friends who can still crack each other up;
The fear of life going by in a flash;
Ted is clearly there under duress.

I may have quit the other place , but I can still have a little crack at Elon from over here
New @vizcomic.bsky.social in your newsagent now …. Next to Razzle

Hi, thanks for following me!

FYI, I don’t do negativity. I don’t engage with trolls, join pile-ons, launch flame wars, or have online arguments

I’m here to share funny stuff, interesting stuff, and talk about things I enjoy

I try to respond in good faith to as many people as I can

Cheers 🙏

Er, I'm pretty sure it's by Bon Jovi.

Just bought your autobiography from the charity shop

Some quick tips for string bending.

Looking forward to posting loads of shit on here that nobody pays any attention to, just like Twitter before it got bent out of shape. Anyone know any good Temu ads as I’m missing those bastard things already.

Ahem….err..is this thing on?

Yet again, this royal oaf, this walking argument against the concept of superior bloodlines finds himself in a set of circumstances almost too ludicrous to be believable. How the fuck did you end up there, King Robert?

Repost for a chance to win this Charlatans bobble hat

Might as well kick things off with a gift - winner picked at 9pm this Sunday

Me arriving on BlueSky.