Dave
@davidlatenight.bsky.social
When I die, they’ll read this and say a genius wrote it
Pinned
Dave
@davidlatenight.bsky.social
· Dec 5
I ruminate on my problems so much I’m basically a rheumatologist
This is not a subtle metaphor hahaha, way too on the nose
WATCH: The moment a Tesla Cybertruck exploded this morning in front of Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas
January 2, 2025 at 6:32 AM
This is not a subtle metaphor hahaha, way too on the nose
Brand new Bentley, you can keep the ceiling
December 26, 2024 at 4:36 AM
Brand new Bentley, you can keep the ceiling
I met a girl recently that I like and she likes me and now I’m walking around smiling at babies and old people and shit
December 24, 2024 at 4:15 AM
I met a girl recently that I like and she likes me and now I’m walking around smiling at babies and old people and shit
Everything reminds me of her…
December 21, 2024 at 7:45 PM
Everything reminds me of her…
No no no, they’ve got it all wrong. This isn’t white privilege; it’s pretty privilege. Look at that jaw line and his piercing gaze
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024...
Media’s empathetic coverage of Luigi Mangione reveals an obsession with humanizing white male suspects
Interest in the United Healthcare CEO shooting suspect’s background underscores research that the media covers white and Black perpetrators differently
www.theguardian.com
December 21, 2024 at 7:43 PM
No no no, they’ve got it all wrong. This isn’t white privilege; it’s pretty privilege. Look at that jaw line and his piercing gaze
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024...
This took about 25 minutes to explain over the phone, and probably about six months off my life
December 21, 2024 at 7:41 PM
This took about 25 minutes to explain over the phone, and probably about six months off my life
It’s simple, just use A.I. to put together a list of every single person who was in New York City on Wednesday, and then compare that to the list of people who are in New York City now
Boom! Problem solved
Boom! Problem solved
Lol the NYPD says they have “reason to believe” that the person of interest in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO has left New York City. They have no idea where he is.
December 6, 2024 at 10:23 PM
It’s simple, just use A.I. to put together a list of every single person who was in New York City on Wednesday, and then compare that to the list of people who are in New York City now
Boom! Problem solved
Boom! Problem solved
The hardest part of being that guy who shot the United Healthcare CEO is probably not bragging about it constantly. The whole country loves this dude!
The real battle is always within yourself
The real battle is always within yourself
December 6, 2024 at 7:48 PM
The hardest part of being that guy who shot the United Healthcare CEO is probably not bragging about it constantly. The whole country loves this dude!
The real battle is always within yourself
The real battle is always within yourself
I want so badly for this guy to be the DB Cooper of our generation. I hope he returns to his career in IT or whatever and we never solve this mystery
NEWS
The NYPD has released two photos of the suspect in the murder of United Health CEO Brian Thompson.
The NYPD has released two photos of the suspect in the murder of United Health CEO Brian Thompson.
December 6, 2024 at 7:45 PM
I want so badly for this guy to be the DB Cooper of our generation. I hope he returns to his career in IT or whatever and we never solve this mystery
Drove past a 24/7 animal hospital in LA and it was enormous. I’m dying at the idea of a giraffe in there receiving chemotherapy hahaha
December 6, 2024 at 7:42 PM
Drove past a 24/7 animal hospital in LA and it was enormous. I’m dying at the idea of a giraffe in there receiving chemotherapy hahaha
It’s true. ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’ is a condition where you basically can’t flip your hand back and forth very fast
Every disease used to be called either peptic disoiritpkhsylihalssus or the Chunks
December 6, 2024 at 5:18 PM
It’s true. ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’ is a condition where you basically can’t flip your hand back and forth very fast
These two guys seated next to me at the bar disagree with some of the decision making that occurred in the movie ‘Old School’
They find it irresponsible that Will Ferrel’s character hired that guy who ended up shooting him with a tranquilizer gun for a child’s birthday party
They find it irresponsible that Will Ferrel’s character hired that guy who ended up shooting him with a tranquilizer gun for a child’s birthday party
December 5, 2024 at 7:08 AM
These two guys seated next to me at the bar disagree with some of the decision making that occurred in the movie ‘Old School’
They find it irresponsible that Will Ferrel’s character hired that guy who ended up shooting him with a tranquilizer gun for a child’s birthday party
They find it irresponsible that Will Ferrel’s character hired that guy who ended up shooting him with a tranquilizer gun for a child’s birthday party
It is so hard to give a shit about these guys getting shot in public
Blue Cross Blue Shield in Connecticut, New York and Missouri has declared it will no longer pay for anesthesia for the full length of some surgeries.
December 5, 2024 at 7:02 AM
It is so hard to give a shit about these guys getting shot in public
If I was Drake, I’d be so angry at how good GNX is. Livid! Enraged!!!
December 5, 2024 at 3:48 AM
If I was Drake, I’d be so angry at how good GNX is. Livid! Enraged!!!
This is my favorite account on bluesky
I wrapped my cat in aluminum foil so government spy satellites cannot monitor when I kiss him on the lips
December 5, 2024 at 3:02 AM
This is my favorite account on bluesky
I ruminate on my problems so much I’m basically a rheumatologist
December 5, 2024 at 2:59 AM
I ruminate on my problems so much I’m basically a rheumatologist
2024 is definitely the year of the would-be political assassin
December 5, 2024 at 2:53 AM
2024 is definitely the year of the would-be political assassin
Oh cool, our entire government is about to be run by aristocrats, like in pre-revolutionary France. Couldn’t be bad
President-elect Trump will nominate Jared Isaacman, a billionaire entrepreneur who led two private missions to orbit on SpaceX rockets, as the next NASA administrator.
Trump Picks Jared Isaacman to Lead NASA
Mr. Isaacman’s company Shift4 Payments made him a billionaire, and he has financed two trips to orbit on SpaceX vehicles, including a daring spacewalk in September.
www.nytimes.com
December 4, 2024 at 7:46 PM
Oh cool, our entire government is about to be run by aristocrats, like in pre-revolutionary France. Couldn’t be bad
Drake was yet again my number artist of the year, but goddamn this mfer did not at all make it easy.
Please resolve to stop being a bitch in 2025, I love your music so much
Please resolve to stop being a bitch in 2025, I love your music so much
December 4, 2024 at 6:30 PM
Drake was yet again my number artist of the year, but goddamn this mfer did not at all make it easy.
Please resolve to stop being a bitch in 2025, I love your music so much
Please resolve to stop being a bitch in 2025, I love your music so much
UNH’s stock price is up today
A true visionary in ever sense of the word, he prioritized generating shareholder value even to the bitter end
A true visionary in ever sense of the word, he prioritized generating shareholder value even to the bitter end
UnitedHealthcare CEO fatally shot in New York City – reports
UnitedHealthcare CEO fatally shot in New York City – reports
A man wearing a mask reportedly shot Brian Thompson, 50, outside a Hilton Hotel in midtown Manhattan
The CEO of UnitedHealthcare, one of the the US’s largest health insurers, was reportedly fatally shot in the chest on Wednesday in midtown Manhattan,…
www.theguardian.com
December 4, 2024 at 6:29 PM
UNH’s stock price is up today
A true visionary in ever sense of the word, he prioritized generating shareholder value even to the bitter end
A true visionary in ever sense of the word, he prioritized generating shareholder value even to the bitter end
Imagine if your dad was the President of the United States and he DIDN’T pardon you. I’d be fucking pissed haha
Why are people upset at this Hunter Biden news lol?
Why are people upset at this Hunter Biden news lol?
December 2, 2024 at 4:32 AM
Imagine if your dad was the President of the United States and he DIDN’T pardon you. I’d be fucking pissed haha
Why are people upset at this Hunter Biden news lol?
Why are people upset at this Hunter Biden news lol?
She Boingo on my hotspot until I wifi
December 1, 2024 at 11:08 PM
She Boingo on my hotspot until I wifi
Reposted by Dave
TRUMP: lets play chess
JD VANCE: sure
TRUMP: my horse guy flies across the board and hits your king in the face. I win
JD VANCE: excellent game, sir
JD VANCE: sure
TRUMP: my horse guy flies across the board and hits your king in the face. I win
JD VANCE: excellent game, sir
December 1, 2024 at 4:23 AM
TRUMP: lets play chess
JD VANCE: sure
TRUMP: my horse guy flies across the board and hits your king in the face. I win
JD VANCE: excellent game, sir
JD VANCE: sure
TRUMP: my horse guy flies across the board and hits your king in the face. I win
JD VANCE: excellent game, sir
A woman recently told me how hot it was that I looked at my watch when she asked me what the time was.
That’s the sole purpose of watches
That’s the sole purpose of watches
December 1, 2024 at 9:08 AM
A woman recently told me how hot it was that I looked at my watch when she asked me what the time was.
That’s the sole purpose of watches
That’s the sole purpose of watches
Biden in two weeks: “Israel did what to the Palestinians!?”
November 30, 2024 at 5:22 AM
Biden in two weeks: “Israel did what to the Palestinians!?”