they call it a liver cuz you need one to live
December 24, 2024 at 2:47 AM
they call it a liver cuz you need one to live
“brevity is the soul of wit” is too many words
December 19, 2024 at 7:53 AM
“brevity is the soul of wit” is too many words
thoughts and prayers require prior authorization.
December 7, 2024 at 11:39 PM
thoughts and prayers require prior authorization.
Reposted by zed
The worst thing about being homeschooled was Sex Ed
class
class
December 2, 2024 at 5:32 PM
The worst thing about being homeschooled was Sex Ed
class
class
fact: if you run over animals I’ll run over you
December 2, 2024 at 8:40 PM
fact: if you run over animals I’ll run over you
Reposted by zed
Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
December 1, 2024 at 5:04 PM
Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work
you should have to be able to spell constitution and independence (unassisted!) correctly before opening your stupid fkn mouth
December 2, 2024 at 1:13 PM
you should have to be able to spell constitution and independence (unassisted!) correctly before opening your stupid fkn mouth
Reposted by zed
yall act like racist fucking shitheads are something new.
guess if you live your life guided by news sources it might be new for you!
guess if you live your life guided by news sources it might be new for you!
December 2, 2024 at 1:12 PM
yall act like racist fucking shitheads are something new.
guess if you live your life guided by news sources it might be new for you!
guess if you live your life guided by news sources it might be new for you!
American greed doesn’t fund itself
December 2, 2024 at 1:09 PM
American greed doesn’t fund itself
it’s difficult for me to express how few fucks I give about anybody’s politics.
keep yelling, sounds like a neat hobby. im sure things won’t change 🤷♂️
keep yelling, sounds like a neat hobby. im sure things won’t change 🤷♂️
December 2, 2024 at 1:08 PM
it’s difficult for me to express how few fucks I give about anybody’s politics.
keep yelling, sounds like a neat hobby. im sure things won’t change 🤷♂️
keep yelling, sounds like a neat hobby. im sure things won’t change 🤷♂️
stand up peeing while wearing expensive earbuds 😡 😤
December 1, 2024 at 12:44 AM
stand up peeing while wearing expensive earbuds 😡 😤
why did viewers give up on $50m horror movies?
December 1, 2024 at 12:20 AM
why did viewers give up on $50m horror movies?
Reposted by zed
God invented squirrels because the forest needed a sassy bitch
November 19, 2024 at 1:06 PM
God invented squirrels because the forest needed a sassy bitch
Reposted by zed
Cat: You don't understand, you must let me out into the world, I yearn to be free and unfettered by domesticity
Same cat five minutes later: WHY DID YOU BANISH ME TO THE FROZEN REALMS OF THE OUTER WORLD THERE IS NOTHING BUT A WASTELAND THERE HOW DARE YOU SIR
Same cat five minutes later: WHY DID YOU BANISH ME TO THE FROZEN REALMS OF THE OUTER WORLD THERE IS NOTHING BUT A WASTELAND THERE HOW DARE YOU SIR
November 30, 2024 at 10:53 PM
Cat: You don't understand, you must let me out into the world, I yearn to be free and unfettered by domesticity
Same cat five minutes later: WHY DID YOU BANISH ME TO THE FROZEN REALMS OF THE OUTER WORLD THERE IS NOTHING BUT A WASTELAND THERE HOW DARE YOU SIR
Same cat five minutes later: WHY DID YOU BANISH ME TO THE FROZEN REALMS OF THE OUTER WORLD THERE IS NOTHING BUT A WASTELAND THERE HOW DARE YOU SIR
Reposted by zed
the doomsday clock is currently at “late pizza delivery”
November 30, 2024 at 11:15 PM
the doomsday clock is currently at “late pizza delivery”
them: “GO TO HELL!!”
me: “already there bud”
me: “already there bud”
November 30, 2024 at 11:07 PM
them: “GO TO HELL!!”
me: “already there bud”
me: “already there bud”
I wish I had the same zeal for crunches as I have for whiskey
November 30, 2024 at 10:47 PM
I wish I had the same zeal for crunches as I have for whiskey
a pastor once told me the devil looks for good ppl. so perhaps feigning “goodness” would bring me closer to Satan.
November 30, 2024 at 10:05 PM
a pastor once told me the devil looks for good ppl. so perhaps feigning “goodness” would bring me closer to Satan.
reciprocity: I think about you about as often as you think about me
November 30, 2024 at 9:52 PM
reciprocity: I think about you about as often as you think about me
Reposted by zed
im afraid my loss of hope has risen above my ability to laugh at the horrors
November 30, 2024 at 2:21 AM
im afraid my loss of hope has risen above my ability to laugh at the horrors