Jeff Dubner
@dubner.bsky.social
Public interest attorney. Formerly EEOC, Democracy Forward.
I can’t believe this thread is still going on. I hope Schneider threatens to sue and Kruse’s lawyer just writes back “Truth is a complete defense.”
Yeah, man, the only difference between your career and Mark Rufallo’s career is the political stuff.
January 1, 2026 at 6:22 PM
I can’t believe this thread is still going on. I hope Schneider threatens to sue and Kruse’s lawyer just writes back “Truth is a complete defense.”
In the middle of a three-week trial, a judge ordered us to negotiate in her chambers while she was out of town. There were fresh-baked cookies. When she got back and we reported that we couldn’t settle any of the claims, she shook her head and said “I’m never baking cookies for you again.”
The late and seriously lamented New York Supreme Court Justice Carol Edmead used to keep a "settlement bowl" of candy in her courtroom. If you settled a case, you got candy.
I never saw a single heated argument in her courtroom; never one attorney who got belligerant.
I never saw a single heated argument in her courtroom; never one attorney who got belligerant.
one unexpected outlook change from being a dad is taking the self care people 10x more seriously when it comes to dealing with weirdly directed anger and rage (including Online). many angry posts should have been naps or little packets of crackers
December 31, 2025 at 10:02 PM
In the middle of a three-week trial, a judge ordered us to negotiate in her chambers while she was out of town. There were fresh-baked cookies. When she got back and we reported that we couldn’t settle any of the claims, she shook her head and said “I’m never baking cookies for you again.”
In lieu of flowers,
December 31, 2025 at 3:46 AM
In lieu of flowers,
Reupping for no reason
December 21, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Reupping for no reason
Reposted by Jeff Dubner
15 years ago after a night of drinking somebody said to me, very seriously, “hey, about before… just forget I mentioned it, ok?” and I’ve wondered ever since what the hell they think they told me
a nice thing you can do when leaving a house party is pick a random person who seems hazy memories drunk but not blackout, put your hands on their shoulders, look them in the eyes and tell them Hey, Your Secret Is Safe With Me. just so they're not worried about their secret for the rest of the night
December 8, 2025 at 3:35 PM
15 years ago after a night of drinking somebody said to me, very seriously, “hey, about before… just forget I mentioned it, ok?” and I’ve wondered ever since what the hell they think they told me
I named my fists Marcel and Proust because you’re gonna be past remembering things
I named my fists Common and Sense because I'm about to bring the Paine
I named my fists Blood and Meridian because I’m fixing to Judge your ass.
December 1, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I named my fists Marcel and Proust because you’re gonna be past remembering things
Many weeks later, as he faced the jury box, Colonel Sean Dunn was to remember that distant afternoon when his Uber driver took him to buy a sub.
Austen, Melville, Twain, Parker, Eliot, and Hawthorne couldn't have done it better
“This case, ladies and gentleman of the jury, is about a sandwich.”
Closing arguments from the defense in the DC sandwich guy case are now underway.
Closing arguments from the defense in the DC sandwich guy case are now underway.
November 5, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Many weeks later, as he faced the jury box, Colonel Sean Dunn was to remember that distant afternoon when his Uber driver took him to buy a sub.
My prediction on the tariffs case, FWIW.
November 5, 2025 at 3:06 PM
My prediction on the tariffs case, FWIW.
Judge: And why is it a trick question?
Balko: ‘Cause Subway didn’t make a meatball sub in 2017. The meatball sub didn’t come out ‘til 2021. And it wasn’t offered on toasted whole wheat until 2025. However, in 2025, the correct quality would be “four degrees below mediocre.”
Balko: ‘Cause Subway didn’t make a meatball sub in 2017. The meatball sub didn’t come out ‘til 2021. And it wasn’t offered on toasted whole wheat until 2025. However, in 2025, the correct quality would be “four degrees below mediocre.”
November 4, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Judge: And why is it a trick question?
Balko: ‘Cause Subway didn’t make a meatball sub in 2017. The meatball sub didn’t come out ‘til 2021. And it wasn’t offered on toasted whole wheat until 2025. However, in 2025, the correct quality would be “four degrees below mediocre.”
Balko: ‘Cause Subway didn’t make a meatball sub in 2017. The meatball sub didn’t come out ‘til 2021. And it wasn’t offered on toasted whole wheat until 2025. However, in 2025, the correct quality would be “four degrees below mediocre.”
Preview of Dunn’s closing argument
What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent footlong meal?
Sadness!!! They got him. From the WaPo
November 4, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Preview of Dunn’s closing argument
Sooner or later, everything becomes crab
October 23, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Sooner or later, everything becomes crab
This is in my neighborhood.
The statute that he cites, 18 USC 111, only applies to people who “forcibly” interfere. He knows it, and every American who gets threatened like that should know it.
The statute that he cites, 18 USC 111, only applies to people who “forcibly” interfere. He knows it, and every American who gets threatened like that should know it.
New — Video shared with me shows ICE officers in DC detaining a man on Friday.
Bystander filming asks man for his name. ICE agent lies and says he’s not allowed to speak to him “by law” and another says “We’ve arrested American citizens for being too close…If he gets any closer, put him in cuffs.”
Bystander filming asks man for his name. ICE agent lies and says he’s not allowed to speak to him “by law” and another says “We’ve arrested American citizens for being too close…If he gets any closer, put him in cuffs.”
October 11, 2025 at 4:01 PM
This is in my neighborhood.
The statute that he cites, 18 USC 111, only applies to people who “forcibly” interfere. He knows it, and every American who gets threatened like that should know it.
The statute that he cites, 18 USC 111, only applies to people who “forcibly” interfere. He knows it, and every American who gets threatened like that should know it.
Just what you want from a spreadsheet: 57.2% accuracy
Microsoft launches ‘vibe working’ in Excel and Word
Microsoft launches ‘vibe working’ in Excel and Word
Vibe working is all about Office’s new Agent Mode.
buff.ly
October 1, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Just what you want from a spreadsheet: 57.2% accuracy
$160: bag of Kerr's sour cream and onion potato chips
$50,000: Cava takeout bag
$90,000: frozen pie crust boxes
Other acceptable bribe conveyances:
$10: empty pack of Juicy Fruit
$10,000: 50-count bag of fun-size Snickers
$250,000: commemorative Nats cup (24-oz)
$700,000: Zaytinya doggie bag
$50,000: Cava takeout bag
$90,000: frozen pie crust boxes
Other acceptable bribe conveyances:
$10: empty pack of Juicy Fruit
$10,000: 50-count bag of fun-size Snickers
$250,000: commemorative Nats cup (24-oz)
$700,000: Zaytinya doggie bag
September 21, 2025 at 12:06 AM
$160: bag of Kerr's sour cream and onion potato chips
$50,000: Cava takeout bag
$90,000: frozen pie crust boxes
Other acceptable bribe conveyances:
$10: empty pack of Juicy Fruit
$10,000: 50-count bag of fun-size Snickers
$250,000: commemorative Nats cup (24-oz)
$700,000: Zaytinya doggie bag
$50,000: Cava takeout bag
$90,000: frozen pie crust boxes
Other acceptable bribe conveyances:
$10: empty pack of Juicy Fruit
$10,000: 50-count bag of fun-size Snickers
$250,000: commemorative Nats cup (24-oz)
$700,000: Zaytinya doggie bag
Yes! Preorder my incredible friend @chanda.bsky.social’s new book from my incredible local bookstore @loyaltybooks.bsky.social!!
September 18, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Yes! Preorder my incredible friend @chanda.bsky.social’s new book from my incredible local bookstore @loyaltybooks.bsky.social!!
The first wedding registry where the fanciest item is a shredder
Whoever's scripting 2025 ... bravo for bringing back this plot thread.
Iran-Contra figures Oliver North and Fawn Hall secretly marry 40 years after scandal: report
North reconnected with Hall last December, at the funeral for his late wife of 56 years.
nypost.com
September 9, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The first wedding registry where the fanciest item is a shredder
Reposted by Jeff Dubner
What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent footlong meal?
August 12, 2025 at 1:01 PM
What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent footlong meal?
What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent footlong meal?
August 12, 2025 at 1:01 PM
What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent footlong meal?
Some folks have asked me about something they saw @stevevladeck.bsky.social and @profmmurray.bsky.social say: that organizations can’t bring class actions. Vladeck and Murray are amazing and I agree with them 99% of the time, but they’re wrong here: organizations can absolutely bring class actions!
July 28, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Some folks have asked me about something they saw @stevevladeck.bsky.social and @profmmurray.bsky.social say: that organizations can’t bring class actions. Vladeck and Murray are amazing and I agree with them 99% of the time, but they’re wrong here: organizations can absolutely bring class actions!