Oops! All Jazeera
@fakehappy.monster
He/him. Rated R for indiscriminate gunplay, profanity directed at children, and a scene of swindling
Pinned
Oops! All Jazeera
@fakehappy.monster
· May 4
Reagan’s national televised address if Big Bird had been on the Challenger:
(Sobbing, clutching a Supergrover doll) Big Bird exploded! Big Bird exploded! (Slapping away his handlers) No! NO! Big Bird EXPLODED!
(Sobbing, clutching a Supergrover doll) Big Bird exploded! Big Bird exploded! (Slapping away his handlers) No! NO! Big Bird EXPLODED!
Years ago I saw a thread on a message board titled something like “The subtext of the song is that no one fucks like Gaston” and I think about it every day
Disney Developing Live-Action ‘Gaston’ Movie From Writer Dave Callaham And Producer Michelle Rejwan
Disney is in early development on a new live-action pic centered on the Beauty and the Beast character Gaston.
deadline.com
December 16, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Years ago I saw a thread on a message board titled something like “The subtext of the song is that no one fucks like Gaston” and I think about it every day
Does anyone else get irrationally angry when they keep seeing the same company’s emails in their spam folder month after month? Hey 5 Star Nutrition: fuck OFF already
December 16, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Does anyone else get irrationally angry when they keep seeing the same company’s emails in their spam folder month after month? Hey 5 Star Nutrition: fuck OFF already
Not loving one possible interpretation of “Liberty: 1776–2026” here
The U.S. Treasury is planning to release a $1 coin featuring Donald Trump’s face in 2026, according to CNN.
December 14, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Not loving one possible interpretation of “Liberty: 1776–2026” here
If it’s any consolation to anyone, I don’t think Jimmy Fallon himself enjoys being alive. There’s nothing behind those eyes except alcohol and a series of preprogrammed instructions on how to laugh too hard whenever he’s spoken to
December 9, 2025 at 11:40 PM
If it’s any consolation to anyone, I don’t think Jimmy Fallon himself enjoys being alive. There’s nothing behind those eyes except alcohol and a series of preprogrammed instructions on how to laugh too hard whenever he’s spoken to
This has got to be the least appetizing picture I’ve ever fucking seen on a chip package
December 6, 2025 at 6:30 PM
This has got to be the least appetizing picture I’ve ever fucking seen on a chip package
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
got banned for life from the TaleSpin forums for suggesting that Baloo in TaleSpin is NOT the same bear as Baloo in The Jungle Book. People were screaming at me to shut the fuck up even though I provided EVIDENCE
November 27, 2024 at 6:58 PM
got banned for life from the TaleSpin forums for suggesting that Baloo in TaleSpin is NOT the same bear as Baloo in The Jungle Book. People were screaming at me to shut the fuck up even though I provided EVIDENCE
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Just starting Ken Burns’s American Revolution doc, and you gotta wonder why no one at PBS thought better about thanking the sponsors at the start by saying “Major funding for The American Revolution was provided by….”
November 27, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Just starting Ken Burns’s American Revolution doc, and you gotta wonder why no one at PBS thought better about thanking the sponsors at the start by saying “Major funding for The American Revolution was provided by….”
Daylight savings or whatever can get fucked. We should just stop tracking time honestly, like who gives a shit. Unless you’re still watching network tv then like what does it even matter what time it is
November 4, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Daylight savings or whatever can get fucked. We should just stop tracking time honestly, like who gives a shit. Unless you’re still watching network tv then like what does it even matter what time it is
Sorry if this is too “woke” but this whole “Trunk or Treat” system is some Satanic Panic Helicopter Parenting bullshit. Imagine just collecting candy in a parking lot without even the slightest danger of being kidnapped. Imagine Charlie Brown getting a rock out of a cop car’s trunk. It’s depraved
November 1, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Sorry if this is too “woke” but this whole “Trunk or Treat” system is some Satanic Panic Helicopter Parenting bullshit. Imagine just collecting candy in a parking lot without even the slightest danger of being kidnapped. Imagine Charlie Brown getting a rock out of a cop car’s trunk. It’s depraved
Holy shit
From 1973, Ed Emberley’s Little Drawing Book of Weirdos. www.presentandcorrect.com/blogs/blog/e...
October 31, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Holy shit
You can know *intellectually* how bad Netflix and Sony fucked up on merch, but you don’t really *feel* it until you’ve handed out candy for a couple hours without seeing a single member of HUNTR/X
October 31, 2025 at 11:34 PM
You can know *intellectually* how bad Netflix and Sony fucked up on merch, but you don’t really *feel* it until you’ve handed out candy for a couple hours without seeing a single member of HUNTR/X
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about
October 28, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about
Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about
October 28, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about
I would love to think this was some Calvin-inspired deliberate fucking with survey responses. I would love to.
They're spinning this as a marketing fail but I think the real story is just that people are stupid as fucking rocks now fortune.com/2025/10/10/p...
Lay's drastically rebrands after disturbing finding: 42% of consumers didn't know their chips were made out of potatoes | Fortune
New bags—matte-ified and designed to look like wood planks (like a potato crate)—will hold the chips with revamped ingredient lists.
fortune.com
October 11, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I would love to think this was some Calvin-inspired deliberate fucking with survey responses. I would love to.
Whoever made yesterday’s NYT Connections puzzle is an Alex Chilton fan:
October 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Whoever made yesterday’s NYT Connections puzzle is an Alex Chilton fan:
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
I don't think we'll ever get another sentence which sums up everything the New York Times embodies quite like "Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians".
hey @nytimes.com: there is no counterpoint here. There are no credible legal experts who would EVER say that the US military has any right or authority to blow civilian craft out of the Caribbean and kill their crews from afar without any provocation. There is no other side to this question.
September 30, 2025 at 3:06 AM
I don't think we'll ever get another sentence which sums up everything the New York Times embodies quite like "Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians".
I just realized “Actually Romantic” must have whipped the batshit Gaylor part of her fanbase into an unprecedented frenzy, and I’m laughing too hard to be mad any more
I’ve always liked most of Taylor’s music, why did she have to write a song that makes me wonder if she squeals with surprise and delight when her fiancé plays peekaboo with her
October 8, 2025 at 3:55 PM
I just realized “Actually Romantic” must have whipped the batshit Gaylor part of her fanbase into an unprecedented frenzy, and I’m laughing too hard to be mad any more
I’ve always liked most of Taylor’s music, why did she have to write a song that makes me wonder if she squeals with surprise and delight when her fiancé plays peekaboo with her
October 6, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I’ve always liked most of Taylor’s music, why did she have to write a song that makes me wonder if she squeals with surprise and delight when her fiancé plays peekaboo with her
Been trying to come up with a joke about the Tylenol Murders that still conveys a) there’s nothing wrong with being autistic and b) I sorta believe those deaths were just Johnson & Johnson fucking up and not admitting it. I can’t do it. Too many layers. I’m sorry.
September 23, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Been trying to come up with a joke about the Tylenol Murders that still conveys a) there’s nothing wrong with being autistic and b) I sorta believe those deaths were just Johnson & Johnson fucking up and not admitting it. I can’t do it. Too many layers. I’m sorry.
Imagining how much more conflicted I’d feel about this whole thing if it’d been Jimmy Fallon instead
September 19, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Imagining how much more conflicted I’d feel about this whole thing if it’d been Jimmy Fallon instead
I’m gonna tell y’all the funniest joke I’ve ever thought up: “Hello, my name is Racecar Internet. I’m Amish.”
September 16, 2025 at 1:22 PM
I’m gonna tell y’all the funniest joke I’ve ever thought up: “Hello, my name is Racecar Internet. I’m Amish.”
If you are a white Gex Xer or Millennial in Michigan: hello! I’m at this Rilo Kiley concert in Grand Rapids with every single one of you.
September 14, 2025 at 11:43 PM
If you are a white Gex Xer or Millennial in Michigan: hello! I’m at this Rilo Kiley concert in Grand Rapids with every single one of you.