@glitter-demon666.bsky.social
At least I am respected at home
December 22, 2025 at 5:14 PM
At least I am respected at home
Reposted
If you gather the largest possible number of crows in one place, you have a murder most fowl
December 15, 2025 at 2:16 PM
If you gather the largest possible number of crows in one place, you have a murder most fowl
Oh God I’m going to throw up. Better get to the carpet!
- Cats
- Cats
December 15, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Oh God I’m going to throw up. Better get to the carpet!
- Cats
- Cats
Me: Did you get into the trash again?
The cat with butter on his head: No
The cat with butter on his head: No
December 13, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Me: Did you get into the trash again?
The cat with butter on his head: No
The cat with butter on his head: No
Cat: splayed across my face as I struggle to breathe through the belly fluff
Also cat: Don’t violate my personal space!
Also cat: Don’t violate my personal space!
December 10, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Cat: splayed across my face as I struggle to breathe through the belly fluff
Also cat: Don’t violate my personal space!
Also cat: Don’t violate my personal space!
Me opening BlueSky after a multi month mental health hiatus: back to the psychological woodchipper baby!
December 8, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Me opening BlueSky after a multi month mental health hiatus: back to the psychological woodchipper baby!
Reposted
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
December 8, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
Reposted
If I were a cat, I would tear down every Christmas tree
December 8, 2025 at 5:03 AM
If I were a cat, I would tear down every Christmas tree
Reposted
my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not
June 13, 2025 at 12:15 PM
my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not
There are two kinds of “ants” people. Those who set the bait traps and walk away or those who cut off the water supply, set up barricades to redirect to the bait, destroy the trails, and engage in direct combat leaving the corpses out to inflict an atmosphere of pure terror.
May 11, 2025 at 1:35 AM
There are two kinds of “ants” people. Those who set the bait traps and walk away or those who cut off the water supply, set up barricades to redirect to the bait, destroy the trails, and engage in direct combat leaving the corpses out to inflict an atmosphere of pure terror.
Reposted
the poor foster dog is terrified of the coffee grinder. i feel the need to explain. “these are the beans you have to drink when you are a person,” i say. “sometimes things are very very bad. but then the beans happen and it is good.” i can tell she understands
April 28, 2025 at 12:15 PM
the poor foster dog is terrified of the coffee grinder. i feel the need to explain. “these are the beans you have to drink when you are a person,” i say. “sometimes things are very very bad. but then the beans happen and it is good.” i can tell she understands
Him: We need to talk. Promise me you won’t make a scene
Me: I’d never.
*winks at the blimp pilot who quickly finishes his coffee*
Me: I’d never.
*winks at the blimp pilot who quickly finishes his coffee*
April 27, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Him: We need to talk. Promise me you won’t make a scene
Me: I’d never.
*winks at the blimp pilot who quickly finishes his coffee*
Me: I’d never.
*winks at the blimp pilot who quickly finishes his coffee*
Reposted
Happy Easter to everyone but especially to the Delta flight attendant who said, "I've seen you five times this month; are you okay?"
April 21, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Happy Easter to everyone but especially to the Delta flight attendant who said, "I've seen you five times this month; are you okay?"
Reposted
huge day for the wicker basket industry
April 20, 2025 at 3:31 PM
huge day for the wicker basket industry
Reposted
disciple 1: he’s alive! returned from the dead!
disciple 2: did he roll away the stone?
disciple 3: did he show you the holes in his hands?
judas: did he uh. did he mention me
disciple 2: did he roll away the stone?
disciple 3: did he show you the holes in his hands?
judas: did he uh. did he mention me
April 20, 2025 at 3:36 PM
disciple 1: he’s alive! returned from the dead!
disciple 2: did he roll away the stone?
disciple 3: did he show you the holes in his hands?
judas: did he uh. did he mention me
disciple 2: did he roll away the stone?
disciple 3: did he show you the holes in his hands?
judas: did he uh. did he mention me
It’s extra funny you see, because cocaine is a tropane alkaloid with weak basic properties and coke cooked with baking soda releases hydrochloride making it into the “free-base” form. The origin of someone acting based comes fro-Hey! Wait no come back I’m not done explaining the joke!
April 21, 2025 at 1:18 AM
It’s extra funny you see, because cocaine is a tropane alkaloid with weak basic properties and coke cooked with baking soda releases hydrochloride making it into the “free-base” form. The origin of someone acting based comes fro-Hey! Wait no come back I’m not done explaining the joke!
Cashier: scans a bottle of wine
Me, trying to still seem young: I have big plans for tonight.
Cashier raises an eyebrow as he then scans five Gatorades, heartburn tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen
Me, trying to still seem young: I have big plans for tonight.
Cashier raises an eyebrow as he then scans five Gatorades, heartburn tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen
April 21, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Cashier: scans a bottle of wine
Me, trying to still seem young: I have big plans for tonight.
Cashier raises an eyebrow as he then scans five Gatorades, heartburn tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen
Me, trying to still seem young: I have big plans for tonight.
Cashier raises an eyebrow as he then scans five Gatorades, heartburn tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen
Reposted
The "duvet cover" is a government program to test how docile the population is. They want to know how much Bullshit we'll put up with. They are laughing at us
April 20, 2025 at 2:28 PM
The "duvet cover" is a government program to test how docile the population is. They want to know how much Bullshit we'll put up with. They are laughing at us
Reposted
I know times are bad because any date from the future (2034, 2078, 2026) sounds like it could be the title of a post-apocalyptic movie.
April 13, 2025 at 10:51 AM
I know times are bad because any date from the future (2034, 2078, 2026) sounds like it could be the title of a post-apocalyptic movie.
Me trying to appear cultured on the first date:
Shall we make our way to the Haus of Waffle?
Shall we make our way to the Haus of Waffle?
April 13, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Me trying to appear cultured on the first date:
Shall we make our way to the Haus of Waffle?
Shall we make our way to the Haus of Waffle?
Reposted
And so another bag of salad mix has come to my fridge to die in peace...
April 11, 2025 at 2:50 PM
And so another bag of salad mix has come to my fridge to die in peace...
ADHD be like:
I better clean this apartment
*5 minutes later*
The North Korean version of the Godzilla movie? HELL YEAH!
I better clean this apartment
*5 minutes later*
The North Korean version of the Godzilla movie? HELL YEAH!
April 12, 2025 at 1:26 AM
ADHD be like:
I better clean this apartment
*5 minutes later*
The North Korean version of the Godzilla movie? HELL YEAH!
I better clean this apartment
*5 minutes later*
The North Korean version of the Godzilla movie? HELL YEAH!