(any time i see a cop) it's fine just stay calm and DO NOT rob a bank right now

Ah shit

now why do you need a fragrance to last 48 hours? go wash your ass

Me: Good morning, beautiful.

My dog: *heavy, discontented sigh

hearing women stage whisper explaining the plot to their boyfriends in a packed wicked screening... revenge for 15 years of marvel movies... music to my ears...

Rot City is entering the lexicon

how do I get off the Kogan text list because I have unsubscribed and blocked them so many times and yet I keep getting messages from them I wanna throw hands at someone

[i arrive in hell]

satan: welcome

me: thanks what's with the fork lol

satan: it's a pitchfork shut up

me: ooo i'm so scared what are u gonna do eat a big salad lmao

satan:

me:

satan:

[i arrive in super hell]

astronaut: can’t believe i haven’t had sex in three years

mission control: ummm ok, prepare to launch

im natasia

saw hozier live last week and it's hard to believe a man that perfect exists
he's a 6'6 irishman with the voice of an angel and writes poetry, yes, I hear you
but he is also politically eloquent, pro-LGBT, for free Palestine
and every other song is about death or greek mythology
the perfect man

watched the Wicked trailer and that is the most hetero Elphaba and Glinda I've ever seen, truly remarkable feat with those two characters
like where are the sapphic undercurrents

im on every app. im in your city, in your neighborhood. the sales associate who handed you a large when you asked for a medium? that was me. i am now behind you.

Why would they not cast an Aussie actor to play Belle Gibson in #AppleCiderVinegar? She does a good job of the accent, and no one but Aussies will be able to tell she's not from here but GOD why would you film here and ship in actors for something that is so locally relevant?

Imma need some of you to think about thriving out of spite. I had big plans for 2025 and I’m definitely not gonna pre-derail them for likes of Elin and Tromp. I’m getting more involved. Loving harder. Writing hornier. Having more fun. I’m gonna be so kind to my neighbors, bitch.

Amanda stop Amanda no

I got here and found dril, dieworkwear, popcrave and that 16yo that runs the news in Australia, and called it a day

Feels a bit earnest on here still tbh

Mac from IASIP