Reposted by James McKernan
Excited to introduce Vibes from Meta. Eat your slop, piggies!
September 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Excited to introduce Vibes from Meta. Eat your slop, piggies!
Reposted by James McKernan
fuckin 10 years of therapy and not once has he integrated with Salesforce no wonder i'm not getting better
August 15, 2025 at 6:08 PM
fuckin 10 years of therapy and not once has he integrated with Salesforce no wonder i'm not getting better
Reposted by James McKernan
May 16, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Reposted by James McKernan
April 30, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Reposted by James McKernan
Our cover this week.
April 24, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Our cover this week.
Reposted by James McKernan
The SEC is the only agency that could get to the bottom of who did these trades — and they would have to want to know.
Alright, I think people knew of the tariff pause and traded it beforehand.
You can see before Trump posted "buy" on Truth Social, traders opened $QQQ $TQQQ and $SPY calls
RIGHT BEFORE THE NEWS, someone opened $SPY 509 calls, expiring TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those calls are up 2100% in one hour.
You can see before Trump posted "buy" on Truth Social, traders opened $QQQ $TQQQ and $SPY calls
RIGHT BEFORE THE NEWS, someone opened $SPY 509 calls, expiring TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those calls are up 2100% in one hour.
April 9, 2025 at 6:38 PM
The SEC is the only agency that could get to the bottom of who did these trades — and they would have to want to know.
Reposted by James McKernan
"Because I could not stop for Death, I paid $1,600 every month to COBRA, until I died of measles, about which the doctors—and not the podcast my mom liked—were correct."
Poetry Revised for 2025
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, because the chemical plant jaundicing the region was ordered by a court to create an alternative, protected fo...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 7, 2025 at 6:28 PM
"Because I could not stop for Death, I paid $1,600 every month to COBRA, until I died of measles, about which the doctors—and not the podcast my mom liked—were correct."
Reposted by James McKernan
This is why North Korea has the world's leading economy
April 4, 2025 at 8:04 PM
This is why North Korea has the world's leading economy
Reposted by James McKernan
Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender
Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender
NEW YORK—Stressing that the memory seemed so fresh and vivid in their minds, the confused nation announced Monday that they could have sworn British entertainer Russell Brand was already a convicted s...
theonion.com
April 4, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender
Reposted by James McKernan
A lot can happen in five months. 🇺🇸
March 11, 2025 at 6:49 PM
A lot can happen in five months. 🇺🇸
Reposted by James McKernan
"It turns out, life on sand is pretty bleak for folks like myself. Those of you still blithely devoted to floating full-time under the sea may not realize, but on land, if you want offspring, you don't just release a bunch of eggs into the water and move on with your life."
I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
A few weeks ago, I sold my voice to a sea witch to become a human woman. It was an incredible adventure at first. I fell in love! I made new friend...
buff.ly
March 7, 2025 at 6:30 PM
"It turns out, life on sand is pretty bleak for folks like myself. Those of you still blithely devoted to floating full-time under the sea may not realize, but on land, if you want offspring, you don't just release a bunch of eggs into the water and move on with your life."
Reposted by James McKernan
56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User
theonion.com/56-year...
theonion.com/56-year...
56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User
FAIRHOPE, AL—Exploiting the popular online game platform for his own perverse ends, local Roblox user Rodney McKinney, 68, was accused of grooming 56-year-old Roblox user Walter Rhodes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “For the past several months, Mr. McKinney, a 68-year-old Roblox user, used the game as a means to foster an inappropriate relationship with an impressionable young 56-year-old that was sexual in nature,” said officer Mike Cavazos, noting several obscene messages in which the baby boomer offered the much younger Gen X user Robux in exchange for lewd images of Rhodes’ flabby, mature body. “It was clear from their correspondence that Mr. McKinney knew the victim was 56, as he stated in chats that he was ‘old enough to be [Rhodes’] supervising manager.’ And though he claimed that messages inviting the victim to move off Roblox to a more private LinkedIn chat were innocent, we believe otherwise.” At press time, authorities claimed McKinney attempted to conceal his indiscretions by warning Rhodes not to “tell your mom, if she’s still alive.”
theonion.com
February 13, 2025 at 11:00 PM
56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User
theonion.com/56-year...
theonion.com/56-year...
Reposted by James McKernan
Reposted by James McKernan
The Chiefs can still win, if Mike Pence finds the courage.
February 10, 2025 at 2:41 AM
The Chiefs can still win, if Mike Pence finds the courage.
Reposted by James McKernan
A real look at my X feed
February 8, 2025 at 9:39 PM
A real look at my X feed
Reposted by James McKernan
Hell yeah. Hold the line. This is what we need people to do.
Slow things down, don’t comply in advance so the courts have time to stop them. It’s starting to work.
Slow things down, don’t comply in advance so the courts have time to stop them. It’s starting to work.
Received a letter from POTUS today purporting to remove me as Commissioner and Chair of the FEC. There's a legal way to replace FEC commissioners-this isn't it. I've been so fortunate to serve the American people and stir up some good trouble along the way. That's not changing anytime soon.
February 7, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Hell yeah. Hold the line. This is what we need people to do.
Slow things down, don’t comply in advance so the courts have time to stop them. It’s starting to work.
Slow things down, don’t comply in advance so the courts have time to stop them. It’s starting to work.
Reposted by James McKernan
Gov JB Pritzker (R-IL) signs order prohibiting Jan 6 rioters from state employment in Illinois:
“I hereby direct CMS to apply the State Personnel Code and consider
any participation in the January 6 insurrection as infamous and disgraceful conduct that is antithetical to the mission of the State”
“I hereby direct CMS to apply the State Personnel Code and consider
any participation in the January 6 insurrection as infamous and disgraceful conduct that is antithetical to the mission of the State”
January 31, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Gov JB Pritzker (R-IL) signs order prohibiting Jan 6 rioters from state employment in Illinois:
“I hereby direct CMS to apply the State Personnel Code and consider
any participation in the January 6 insurrection as infamous and disgraceful conduct that is antithetical to the mission of the State”
“I hereby direct CMS to apply the State Personnel Code and consider
any participation in the January 6 insurrection as infamous and disgraceful conduct that is antithetical to the mission of the State”
Reposted by James McKernan
I think it already is.
But seriously. Don’t call them names. We want the door open for them when they realize the mistake they made.
We are for a better America. Not a vindictive America
But seriously. Don’t call them names. We want the door open for them when they realize the mistake they made.
We are for a better America. Not a vindictive America
Hey Mark do you think voters remorse will ever hit the magat crowd
I Doubt It
I Doubt It
January 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
I think it already is.
But seriously. Don’t call them names. We want the door open for them when they realize the mistake they made.
We are for a better America. Not a vindictive America
But seriously. Don’t call them names. We want the door open for them when they realize the mistake they made.
We are for a better America. Not a vindictive America
Reposted by James McKernan
Meta warns that it will fire leakers in leaked memo
Meta warns that it will fire leakers in leaked memo
Mark Zuckerberg told employees that leaking “sucks.”
buff.ly
January 31, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Meta warns that it will fire leakers in leaked memo
Reposted by James McKernan
You guys need to see this and take it in…
Wise words from someone who is a target. And he’s been listening.
Wise words from someone who is a target. And he’s been listening.
January 23, 2025 at 10:00 PM
You guys need to see this and take it in…
Wise words from someone who is a target. And he’s been listening.
Wise words from someone who is a target. And he’s been listening.
Reposted by James McKernan
Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole
theonion.com/trump-c...
theonion.com/trump-c...
January 22, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole
theonion.com/trump-c...
theonion.com/trump-c...
Reposted by James McKernan
Reposted by James McKernan
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
theonion.com/jd-vanc...
theonion.com/jd-vanc...
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
PALM BEACH, FL—Noticing everyone else’s phone simultaneously buzzing throughout a meeting, Vice President-elect JD Vance began to suspect there was another group chat among Trump’s senior staff that he wasn’t part of, sources confirmed Monday. “It can’t be a coincidence that they all keep looking down at their phones and chuckling at the same time,” […]
theonion.com
January 18, 2025 at 4:00 PM
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
theonion.com/jd-vanc...
theonion.com/jd-vanc...
Reposted by James McKernan
"Protagonist names: Jack Skinner? Jack Killgore? Jackson “Jack” Jackington (THIS ONE)."
https://buff.ly/3DQVoJ5
https://buff.ly/3DQVoJ5
Brainstorming Notes of the Typical Male American Spy Novelist
Title idea: The Kandahar Paramour Protagonist name ideas: Ethan Sharp? Grayson Grimm? Hunter Savage? Character: Layla. Divided loyalties. C-cu...
mcsweeneys.net
January 18, 2025 at 3:00 AM
"Protagonist names: Jack Skinner? Jack Killgore? Jackson “Jack” Jackington (THIS ONE)."
https://buff.ly/3DQVoJ5
https://buff.ly/3DQVoJ5
Reposted by James McKernan
I got rich because when I was broke I had nothing to lose. So I took risks and built companies. I became a billionaire because I was fortunate enough to start another tech company when the internet boom hit. I stayed one because I realized that stocks don’t go up forever and hedged my holdings
This is why @mcuban.bsky.social is a billionaire. 🤔
A witty, but respectful answer, followed up by a respectful question.
A witty, but respectful answer, followed up by a respectful question.
January 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I got rich because when I was broke I had nothing to lose. So I took risks and built companies. I became a billionaire because I was fortunate enough to start another tech company when the internet boom hit. I stayed one because I realized that stocks don’t go up forever and hedged my holdings