Here are some nice mushrooms

This is Breuer. He's still figuring out how to sit. Wants to know what you think of his plop in the meantime. 12/10 (IG: chase.n.breu.labradors)

I sincerely hope that if/when the United States gets hit by an asteroid because the universe is sick of this shit that it hits Elon Musk’s stupid face first.

Wishing a very happy football season finale to all those who celebrate 🏈 and a very happy Chip-mas to all

Weak men cannot compromise. Weak men cannot build consensus. Weak men think that leadership means force. Weak men build nothing that lasts.

Is 31 too old to be hiding in the bathroom when company is over because you’re overstimulated

This was taken 0.2 seconds before she punched me in the leg to tell me she wants my eggs

The lemon Girl Scout cookies are different and I would like to submit a formal complaint

My sister said she was glad she was craving chips right now because “The Chip Christmas” is coming up

She meant the Super Bowl. She’s not wrong.

Here are some nice mushrooms

If you wanted to decrease the cost of homes, one thing you wouldn’t do is put a flat tariff on your main source of timber.

Mom come pick me up I’m scared

Everybody check on your group chats. It’s rough out here.

The ADULT adults at work: *talking about their kids, their mortgages, etc. etc.*

Me: yeah so I just completed the community center in stardew valley and have crippling anxiety

This kid slightly misunderstood their homework assignment and we could not possibly love it more. 12/10

“The Democrats didn’t do enough on Gaza, so I withheld my vote to make a statement.”

“Well, Trump won and now he’s gonna destroy Gaza.”

“Yep. We’re paying the price for the Democrats’ incompetence.”

“‘We?’ The Gazans are paying the price, not us”

Pause.

“I needed to make a statement.”

I only take pictures of her from the most flattering angles