Justine Cotter
@justinecotter.bsky.social
Creative Director @ advertising
Humor & Satire Writer 👩💻 McSweeney's, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Little Old Lady
📍NYC 🗽✌️
Humor & Satire Writer 👩💻 McSweeney's, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Little Old Lady
📍NYC 🗽✌️
Pinned
Alternatives to Girl Math
“A new personal finance trend has TikTok users recommending humorous new ways to rethink their spending habits. We’ve all justified unnecessary pur...
www.mcsweeneys.net
Cue “a beautiful mind” chalkboard scene. 🧮 Got another one in McSweeney’s today with Bobbie Armstrong www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alt...
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Via @abreezeclayton.bsky.social, here's a tool to find out if your vote is on the list of those being challenged in North Carolina, along with instructions on what you can do next/who to contact re: ballot curing.
Please share widely, especially if you're in North Carolina
Please share widely, especially if you're in North Carolina
April 4, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Via @abreezeclayton.bsky.social, here's a tool to find out if your vote is on the list of those being challenged in North Carolina, along with instructions on what you can do next/who to contact re: ballot curing.
Please share widely, especially if you're in North Carolina
Please share widely, especially if you're in North Carolina
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Today's Headlines
April 3, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Today's Headlines
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Your tariff rate is your star sign divided by the number of boys you've kissed, multiplied by one
April 3, 2025 at 7:51 AM
Your tariff rate is your star sign divided by the number of boys you've kissed, multiplied by one
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Those trying to understand the tariffs as economic policy are dangerously naive.
No, the tariffs are a tool to collapse our democracy. A means to compel loyalty from every business that will need to petition Trump for relief.
1/ A 🧵 to explain his plan and how we fight back.
No, the tariffs are a tool to collapse our democracy. A means to compel loyalty from every business that will need to petition Trump for relief.
1/ A 🧵 to explain his plan and how we fight back.
April 3, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Those trying to understand the tariffs as economic policy are dangerously naive.
No, the tariffs are a tool to collapse our democracy. A means to compel loyalty from every business that will need to petition Trump for relief.
1/ A 🧵 to explain his plan and how we fight back.
No, the tariffs are a tool to collapse our democracy. A means to compel loyalty from every business that will need to petition Trump for relief.
1/ A 🧵 to explain his plan and how we fight back.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Hi folks: Facebook appears to be taking down my posts. Please remember they are available for free here (no paywall), and can be received by email (also free-- just don't put in your credit card information). I guess if I'm being banned I'm doing something right?
The government ignored his protective legal status & deported Abrego Garcia. “Now they claim that the court is powerless to order any relief. If that’s true, the immigration laws are meaningless because the government can deport ANYONE & no court can do anything about it once it’s done.”
March 31, 2025
On April 1, 1861, Secretary of State William Henry Seward wrote an astonishing letter to President Abraham Lincoln.
open.substack.com
April 1, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Hi folks: Facebook appears to be taking down my posts. Please remember they are available for free here (no paywall), and can be received by email (also free-- just don't put in your credit card information). I guess if I'm being banned I'm doing something right?
Reposted by Justine Cotter
“I promise you, (John Lewis) that I will do everything possible to make you proud.” —Cory Booker
April 1, 2025 at 11:23 PM
“I promise you, (John Lewis) that I will do everything possible to make you proud.” —Cory Booker
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Booker: "I confess that I have been imperfect. I confess that I've been inadequate to the moment. I've confess that the Democratic Party has made terrible mistakes that gave a lane to this demagogue. I confess we all must look in the mirror and say 'we will do better.'"
April 1, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Booker: "I confess that I have been imperfect. I confess that I've been inadequate to the moment. I've confess that the Democratic Party has made terrible mistakes that gave a lane to this demagogue. I confess we all must look in the mirror and say 'we will do better.'"
Reposted by Justine Cotter
NEW: DOGE demanded full access to a US Department of the Interior system that handles even the Supreme Court's paychecks. When top staff asked questions, they were put on leave.
Top Officials Placed on Leave After Denying DOGE Access to Federal Payroll Systems
DOGE demanded full access to a US Department of the Interior system that handles even the Supreme Court's paychecks. When top staff asked questions, they were put on leave.
www.wired.com
March 31, 2025 at 8:59 PM
NEW: DOGE demanded full access to a US Department of the Interior system that handles even the Supreme Court's paychecks. When top staff asked questions, they were put on leave.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
"no ability to bring him back." Holy fucking shit.
April 1, 2025 at 2:28 AM
"no ability to bring him back." Holy fucking shit.
@theatlantic.com this week.
a woman is sitting at a table with a plate of food and a peacock logo behind her
Alt: a woman in a yellow dress is sitting at a table with a plate of food and a peacock logo behind her saying "Receipts, Proof, Timeline"
media.tenor.com
March 27, 2025 at 1:52 PM
@theatlantic.com this week.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Musk's war on government capacity threatens "irreversible losses of crop genetic diversity. Such losses directly undermine the United States’ ability to ensure continued food security and dietary diversity amid challenges to our agricultural systems." 😬
Gift link:
www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/o...
Gift link:
www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/o...
Opinion | Why Did Elon Musk Go After Bunkers Full of Seeds? (Gift Article)
Gene banks are like a survivalist cache: our nation’s safeguard against all future challenges to growing the food we need.
www.nytimes.com
March 22, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Musk's war on government capacity threatens "irreversible losses of crop genetic diversity. Such losses directly undermine the United States’ ability to ensure continued food security and dietary diversity amid challenges to our agricultural systems." 😬
Gift link:
www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/o...
Gift link:
www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/o...
Reposted by Justine Cotter
DOGE has spent the last six weeks on a supposed crusade to audit the government and stop fraud, waste, and abuse.
But two federal auditors with years of experience say that DOGE’s actions are the furthest thing from what an actual audit looks like.
But two federal auditors with years of experience say that DOGE’s actions are the furthest thing from what an actual audit looks like.
‘It’s a Heist’: Real Federal Auditors Are Horrified by DOGE
WIRED talked to actual federal auditors about how government auditing works—and how DOGE is doing the opposite.
wrd.cm
March 19, 2025 at 2:04 PM
DOGE has spent the last six weeks on a supposed crusade to audit the government and stop fraud, waste, and abuse.
But two federal auditors with years of experience say that DOGE’s actions are the furthest thing from what an actual audit looks like.
But two federal auditors with years of experience say that DOGE’s actions are the furthest thing from what an actual audit looks like.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Happy Smash Wednesday to all who celebrate! And many thanks to The Belladonna for publishing my latest monster truck smut/short humor piece. This one’s NSFW.
thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-fro...
thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-fro...
Excerpts From the Smash Hit Men’s Romantasy Novel, A Court of Mud and Monster Trucks
By Sarah J. MonsterJam
thebelladonnacomedy.com
March 19, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Happy Smash Wednesday to all who celebrate! And many thanks to The Belladonna for publishing my latest monster truck smut/short humor piece. This one’s NSFW.
thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-fro...
thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-fro...
Reposted by Justine Cotter
Would like to report some gang tattoos.
March 18, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Would like to report some gang tattoos.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
ALSO, if you have a library card, you can read paywall articles for free with the Libby app.
March 18, 2025 at 6:29 PM
ALSO, if you have a library card, you can read paywall articles for free with the Libby app.
it's so cute how Republicans in Congress are just going along with DOGE cuts that make their jobs redundant like they aren't gonna be next
March 19, 2025 at 11:20 AM
it's so cute how Republicans in Congress are just going along with DOGE cuts that make their jobs redundant like they aren't gonna be next
can we stop calling it a "flurry" of executive orders? dictatorial snowmageddon would be more appropriate
March 19, 2025 at 11:13 AM
can we stop calling it a "flurry" of executive orders? dictatorial snowmageddon would be more appropriate
Reposted by Justine Cotter
I am a commissioner at the Federal Trade Commission. Earlier today, the president attempted to illegally fire me. This is corruption, plain and simple. I will see the president in court. My full statement:
March 19, 2025 at 1:40 AM
I am a commissioner at the Federal Trade Commission. Earlier today, the president attempted to illegally fire me. This is corruption, plain and simple. I will see the president in court. My full statement:
Reposted by Justine Cotter
did we really just go from brat summer to dictator winter?
November 11, 2024 at 10:34 PM
did we really just go from brat summer to dictator winter?
Reposted by Justine Cotter
They're called public records for a reason. Starting today, WIRED will *stop paywalling* articles that are primarily based on public records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, becoming the first publication to partner with @freedom.press to offer this for our new coverage.
Wired is dropping paywalls for FOIA-based reporting. Others should follow
As the administration does its best to hide public records from the public, Wired magazine is stepping up to help stem the secrecy
freedom.press
March 18, 2025 at 1:11 PM
They're called public records for a reason. Starting today, WIRED will *stop paywalling* articles that are primarily based on public records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, becoming the first publication to partner with @freedom.press to offer this for our new coverage.
Reposted by Justine Cotter
I know this first hand. When I was a child, my entire community was branded as spies and sabateurs, justifying our internment inside barbed wire camps for years without due process, trial or charge.
March 17, 2025 at 6:30 PM
I know this first hand. When I was a child, my entire community was branded as spies and sabateurs, justifying our internment inside barbed wire camps for years without due process, trial or charge.
Come on down for a terrible deal at Donnie's Cars for More Corruption! www.nbcnews.com/tech/elon-mu...
Trump turns the White House lawn into a Tesla showroom
The president threw Elon Musk a lifeline with an event, livestreamed on X, where he touted the cars and said he would buy one.
www.nbcnews.com
March 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Come on down for a terrible deal at Donnie's Cars for More Corruption! www.nbcnews.com/tech/elon-mu...
New work in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social and that's not sarcasm!
“I’m all ‘Let’s get a dozen sarcasm on the half-shell, amigos!’” By @justinecotter.bsky.social
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/i-am-a-guy-o...
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/i-am-a-guy-o...
March 11, 2025 at 11:38 PM
New work in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social and that's not sarcasm!
Reposted by Justine Cotter
They want to keep it quiet, so you know what to do.
Trump: Gutting National Parks—And Hiding the Evidence
National parks hit 331M visits, but Trump officials don’t want you to know. A leaked memo bans the Park Service from promoting the numbers—while firing rangers, closing visitor centers, and cutting safety.
This won’t go well—we love our parks.
National parks hit 331M visits, but Trump officials don’t want you to know. A leaked memo bans the Park Service from promoting the numbers—while firing rangers, closing visitor centers, and cutting safety.
This won’t go well—we love our parks.
March 9, 2025 at 12:21 AM
They want to keep it quiet, so you know what to do.