I’m so tired of everything breaking my heart.

just remember, if your football team loses this weekend, it's 100% bc you didn't wear the right shirt you dumb fuck how could you.

When the enormity of the world's horrors makes you feel helpless, narrow your focus. Find one stranger and scold them for posting a recipe while kids are dying. Call out a new mom for not adding alt text to a baby photo. Critique a selfie. Correct a joke. Show people you care more than them.

wishing all orcas the best of luck in destroying every remaining yacht in existence, I believe in you all

Dorothy Parker to Robert Benchley, December 31, 1929. Happy New Year!

2024 begins absent the foul moral stench of Henry Kissinger, thus giving 2024 a leg up on every other year since 1922.

Don't blow it, 2024. Surprise us.

What if next year is good? Wouldn't that be funny? Surprise me, motherfucker.

@sarahgailey.bsky.social spent most of the weekend in bed due to what is “probably” long covid, and happily sailed through the Echo Wife in less than 24hrs…absolutely riveting, beautifully written. Thank you!

if you don’t have fresh horrors, store bought is fine