magicmarce.bsky.social
@magicmarce.bsky.social
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The Onion, 23 years ago.

theonion.com/no-blood-for...
December 17, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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My family has been without half our income for 40 days. It has been.. very hard.

We are willing to feel that pain so people can have health care next year, or to undo these illegal recissions.

We are not willing to have been put through this for NOTHING.
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
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Chicago priest Fr. Larry Dowling describes procession to ICE facility: “No one had the courage to speak directly to us. No one from Homeland Security could stand in the presence of the Monstrance holding the Blessed Sacrament. No wonder. Evil is repelled, recoils in the presence of Christ.”
October 11, 2025 at 9:10 PM
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BREAKING

In a new video, Dolly Parton, the Queen of America, says she’s going to be ok.
October 8, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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I was a skeptic about the import of the Epstein files.

But 3 invasions of cities, one military buildup outside Venezuela, a government shutdown, and so many other things meant to distract have me convinced whatever’s in there is the biggest presidential scandal in U.S. history.
October 6, 2025 at 2:00 AM
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Sometimes the sheer idiocy of this moment overwhelms me. The idea that our convicted felon POTUS who incited an attack on DC police then pardoned the attackers & who's the most corrupt official in US history is going on an "anti-crime" ride-along in a city w/falling crime rate is...(brain explodes)
August 21, 2025 at 5:46 PM
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"Ghislaine Maxwell remains the only child-rapist in history to receive well-wishes from a president of the United States."

Lawrence O'Donnell
August 12, 2025 at 6:57 PM
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On this Chairteenth, we celebrate the good folks of Montgomery, especially our guy AquaMayne. Special shout out to the folks who, within 72 hours, recreated this in their apartment complex. A COMMUNITY!! 💀
August 6, 2025 at 12:47 AM
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i believe jubilee and labubu and both demonic entities meant to sow discord and evil within this world
July 22, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I hateeeeeeeeeeeee this girl god
May 6, 2025 at 1:35 PM
For the first time in my life, I win a raffle and it’s a spring ski trip and I cannot go. Life is real funny.
February 8, 2025 at 12:27 AM
The smartest I felt was when I got into law school. The dumbest I've felt is actually being in law school
January 27, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I am putting together my songs to cry to playlist. I have a hard time crying for/about myself and the things I go through but a sad song does it for me. Please send recs!So far I have
1. Heaven - Beyonce
2. Too Good at Goodbyes- Sam Smith
3. Ghostin - Ariana Grande
January 26, 2025 at 6:59 PM
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I used to love reading dystopian fiction in high school.

Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.
January 19, 2025 at 6:47 AM
7 days sober observations: my sleep schedule is fucked. My memory and attention span has suffered. I am hungry less.
January 13, 2025 at 9:10 PM
In 2025 I’m going to try to stop hating Chicago but it’s still 2024 so… I hate the ma smoking weed on the train. I hate the cunt who stole my package. I hate my stupid building for auto cutting on my heat & charging me for it. I hate that my plants died. FUCK
January 1, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Walking down the street freezing cold, sad and angry cause I blew an exam and then boom rain that freezes into mini hale. I wanna fight.
December 4, 2024 at 11:20 PM
No one told me how bad snow can piss you off.
December 4, 2024 at 11:19 PM
Feeling like I’m looking over the edge of a cliff here.
December 3, 2024 at 2:21 PM
Have I ever seen Wicked? No. Have I ever listened to the original broadway recordings? No. But I was a Quasi-Theater kid and I cannot get Defying Gravity out of my head.
November 28, 2024 at 10:51 PM
Thankful for them mean bitches aka my best friends.
November 28, 2024 at 10:25 PM
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Actually, in France male athletes wear jacquestraps to protect their oui ouis
November 27, 2024 at 4:51 PM
I’m going to treat this like Twitter 2008.
November 28, 2024 at 10:21 PM