Philly is a special place because, win or lose, something will definitely be set on fire

I had 4 days off and by the end of that time I was thinking about creative pursuits, maybe even getting involved in my community. Thank god that's over now

let’s make this a 5 day weekend. they can’t fire all of us

*eating buttered toast* my day won’t get any better than this

Ralphie has started kicking me during bedtime in his sleep and there is literally nothing I can do about it. He's officially claimed the bed as his own

it’s hard to even remember what my life looked like before the 🫡 emoji

Therapists should have to work in pairs, each trying to persuade you to take their advice, and one of them should be evil

Just went on a 10 minute rant about how much I love Aldi. Go to Aldi guys

I reckon Depeche Mode tried Depeche Mean and Depeche Median first and they just didn’t scan…

why is Starbucks coffee so bad

This is Meatball. He's going home for the very first time. So excited to have a human of his own. Thinking about what he's going to call you. Maybe Bob. 12/10

In fun news today I an making a beef stew with carrots, potatoes. and onions... bottle of older wine to be used up. Very excited! May make crusty bread too.

I coincidentally scheduled a doctor's appointment for today in 15 minutes, I'm totally looking forward to the small talk at the beginning where we're both going to be like "so, uhh, how are you 👀"

fuck this election