Nick Teale
@nick-t.bsky.social
Part-time freelance writer, part-time film extra, part-time retired person, full-time Dad joke afficionado
Upgrade now, or your bloomers may no longer receive security patches
November 19, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Upgrade now, or your bloomers may no longer receive security patches
Since Keir Starmer revived the thing of saying political slogans three times ('Delivery, Delivery, Delivery), I've been wondering if we could persuade Nigel Farage that 'No Place Like Home' is a brilliant slogan for Reform.
That way he could say it three times and disappear back to Kansas.
That way he could say it three times and disappear back to Kansas.
September 8, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Since Keir Starmer revived the thing of saying political slogans three times ('Delivery, Delivery, Delivery), I've been wondering if we could persuade Nigel Farage that 'No Place Like Home' is a brilliant slogan for Reform.
That way he could say it three times and disappear back to Kansas.
That way he could say it three times and disappear back to Kansas.
Reposted by Nick Teale
Don’t feel proud to be English. Feel lucky to be English. The vast majority of the world don’t have that good fortune you were given. Don’t waste it hating on people in need of a better life; people who have risked their lives just to have a tiny bit of that same good fortune that was given to you.
September 3, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Don’t feel proud to be English. Feel lucky to be English. The vast majority of the world don’t have that good fortune you were given. Don’t waste it hating on people in need of a better life; people who have risked their lives just to have a tiny bit of that same good fortune that was given to you.
Boy George started out as an industrial chemist for a party balloon company.
He invented a form of helium that could safely be canned, and did not make users speak in a squeaky voice, thus keeping them calmer.
He left because the marketing team couldn't think of an advertising slogan.
He invented a form of helium that could safely be canned, and did not make users speak in a squeaky voice, thus keeping them calmer.
He left because the marketing team couldn't think of an advertising slogan.
August 6, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Boy George started out as an industrial chemist for a party balloon company.
He invented a form of helium that could safely be canned, and did not make users speak in a squeaky voice, thus keeping them calmer.
He left because the marketing team couldn't think of an advertising slogan.
He invented a form of helium that could safely be canned, and did not make users speak in a squeaky voice, thus keeping them calmer.
He left because the marketing team couldn't think of an advertising slogan.
The first rule of retro maths club is slide
July 8, 2025 at 12:28 PM
The first rule of retro maths club is slide
Having spent much of the early summer accidentally fishing dragonfly larvae from the pond, delighted to find that at least one survived the ordeal.
July 4, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Having spent much of the early summer accidentally fishing dragonfly larvae from the pond, delighted to find that at least one survived the ordeal.
Local wildlife getting above itself - didn't know whether to chase it or invite it to join us for a beer
June 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Local wildlife getting above itself - didn't know whether to chase it or invite it to join us for a beer
Rachel Reeves on C4 News just now -
"April was a challenging month"
T S Eliot -
"Hold my beer"
"April was a challenging month"
T S Eliot -
"Hold my beer"
June 12, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Rachel Reeves on C4 News just now -
"April was a challenging month"
T S Eliot -
"Hold my beer"
"April was a challenging month"
T S Eliot -
"Hold my beer"
"Welcome to Harvester"
Quote this with your most spine-chilling three-word phrase in the English language. I bet you can't beat "replacement bus service" or "family fun day".
June 12, 2025 at 7:54 AM
"Welcome to Harvester"
Nasty tussle in Tesco's with the guy stickering the reduced items. I won't say how it ended, but now there's a price on my head
May 27, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Nasty tussle in Tesco's with the guy stickering the reduced items. I won't say how it ended, but now there's a price on my head
Reposted by Nick Teale
you know who else came from chicago and was on "a mission from god"
May 8, 2025 at 5:29 PM
you know who else came from chicago and was on "a mission from god"
Marking the little-known Star Wars follow up to May 4th by chucking jars of Jedi branded salad dressing into the sea.
Yes, folks, it's
Sink Yoda Mayo
(And....cue tumblweed)
Yes, folks, it's
Sink Yoda Mayo
(And....cue tumblweed)
May 5, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Marking the little-known Star Wars follow up to May 4th by chucking jars of Jedi branded salad dressing into the sea.
Yes, folks, it's
Sink Yoda Mayo
(And....cue tumblweed)
Yes, folks, it's
Sink Yoda Mayo
(And....cue tumblweed)
Reposted by Nick Teale
One hundred days in, Donald Trump faces a problem: he can rage, but he can’t govern | Jonathan Freedland
One hundred days in, Donald Trump faces a problem: he can rage, but he can’t govern | Jonathan Freedland
Americans are beginning to worry about their future amid a shrinking economy, warnings of empty shelves – and the president’s failed promises, says Guardian columnist Jonathan Freedland
www.theguardian.com
May 2, 2025 at 5:31 PM
One hundred days in, Donald Trump faces a problem: he can rage, but he can’t govern | Jonathan Freedland
Using a blue toilet cleaner, and started taking Berocca. Now I recreate the Ukrainian flag every time I go for a wee
April 27, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Using a blue toilet cleaner, and started taking Berocca. Now I recreate the Ukrainian flag every time I go for a wee
We must send a spaceship to secure this vital resource for America! Only our greatest president and our finest technologist are worthy of the mission - let us blast them into space without delay!
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/16/s...
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/16/s...
Astronomers Detect a Signature of Life on a Distant Planet (Gift Article)
Further studies are needed to determine whether K2-18b, which orbits a star 120 light-years away, is inhabited, or even habitable.
www.nytimes.com
April 17, 2025 at 1:18 PM
We must send a spaceship to secure this vital resource for America! Only our greatest president and our finest technologist are worthy of the mission - let us blast them into space without delay!
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/16/s...
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/16/s...
Good job Rory McIlroy is white, or he'd be in El Salvador by now
April 14, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Good job Rory McIlroy is white, or he'd be in El Salvador by now
Seeing primulas in so many unexpected places, I'm wondering if it's a bid for world domination. Sort of 'Day of the Triffids' but by Alan Bennett
April 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Seeing primulas in so many unexpected places, I'm wondering if it's a bid for world domination. Sort of 'Day of the Triffids' but by Alan Bennett
Need to get my ears checked - every time someone mentions Elon Musk's Starlink, I'm hearing 'Elon Musk is Stalin'
March 4, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Need to get my ears checked - every time someone mentions Elon Musk's Starlink, I'm hearing 'Elon Musk is Stalin'
For verification, I have put this photo in a pot, and will get my Aunt Sally's opinion during our weekly podcast. Because no-one will believe you until it's shared on 'Show Sal Me Jar.'
January 16, 2025 at 8:08 AM
For verification, I have put this photo in a pot, and will get my Aunt Sally's opinion during our weekly podcast. Because no-one will believe you until it's shared on 'Show Sal Me Jar.'
Our friends Bob and Anne Hall were stunned by our gift of front row seats to see , some chap called Murs. They said the evening was made for them when he acknowledged them personally after the encores, meaning that, last Christmas, we
Decked the Halls with bows off Olly
Okay, I'll get me coat
Decked the Halls with bows off Olly
Okay, I'll get me coat
December 19, 2024 at 7:36 PM
Our friends Bob and Anne Hall were stunned by our gift of front row seats to see , some chap called Murs. They said the evening was made for them when he acknowledged them personally after the encores, meaning that, last Christmas, we
Decked the Halls with bows off Olly
Okay, I'll get me coat
Decked the Halls with bows off Olly
Okay, I'll get me coat
A tip for theatre directors
Avoid that tricky bit of staging in Macbeth by introducing a travelling salesman character who turns up at Dunsinane in Act 5, called Bernard Wood
Avoid that tricky bit of staging in Macbeth by introducing a travelling salesman character who turns up at Dunsinane in Act 5, called Bernard Wood
December 1, 2024 at 8:52 AM
A tip for theatre directors
Avoid that tricky bit of staging in Macbeth by introducing a travelling salesman character who turns up at Dunsinane in Act 5, called Bernard Wood
Avoid that tricky bit of staging in Macbeth by introducing a travelling salesman character who turns up at Dunsinane in Act 5, called Bernard Wood
We are approaching that special time of year when we celebrate the coming of the baby cheeses
November 25, 2024 at 1:59 PM
We are approaching that special time of year when we celebrate the coming of the baby cheeses
Reposted by Nick Teale
i saw a copy of a real estate licensing exam and it was just questions like “can you find all the rooms in a house?” and “are you familiar with cupboards?”
November 22, 2024 at 11:10 PM
i saw a copy of a real estate licensing exam and it was just questions like “can you find all the rooms in a house?” and “are you familiar with cupboards?”
Reposted by Nick Teale
*opens gifts*
*stares at small, round, green vegetables, bottled seashore, Chinese basic unit of money and circular domed tent*
“Why?”
“You said that all you wanted for your birthday was some peas, sand, Kwai, yurt…”
*stares at small, round, green vegetables, bottled seashore, Chinese basic unit of money and circular domed tent*
“Why?”
“You said that all you wanted for your birthday was some peas, sand, Kwai, yurt…”
November 23, 2024 at 8:13 PM
*opens gifts*
*stares at small, round, green vegetables, bottled seashore, Chinese basic unit of money and circular domed tent*
“Why?”
“You said that all you wanted for your birthday was some peas, sand, Kwai, yurt…”
*stares at small, round, green vegetables, bottled seashore, Chinese basic unit of money and circular domed tent*
“Why?”
“You said that all you wanted for your birthday was some peas, sand, Kwai, yurt…”