Phil Gonzales
@pcgonzo.bsky.social
I have Berenstain Bears, Horror, & Film podcasts. Also, ADHD. I'm a barrel of fun. Work in a bookstore. Also for a brain injury nonprofit. I live in Minneapolis. Please don't follow me home. he/him
https://linktr.ee/pcgonzo
https://linktr.ee/pcgonzo
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
Constant sealing and cleaning issues. Arms will wear through sealant at different rates on same armrest.
Next time you’re at someone’s kitchen with a marble countertop, bring in the iPad and imagine your arms resting on the countertop for 60-75 minute stretches before intermission.
Next time you’re at someone’s kitchen with a marble countertop, bring in the iPad and imagine your arms resting on the countertop for 60-75 minute stretches before intermission.
December 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Constant sealing and cleaning issues. Arms will wear through sealant at different rates on same armrest.
Next time you’re at someone’s kitchen with a marble countertop, bring in the iPad and imagine your arms resting on the countertop for 60-75 minute stretches before intermission.
Next time you’re at someone’s kitchen with a marble countertop, bring in the iPad and imagine your arms resting on the countertop for 60-75 minute stretches before intermission.
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
As someone who works in a performing arts center as a tech, building engineer and helps with cleaning, this is the worst idea.
Customers bump into armrests in aisles constantly. Bump you thigh or knee into stone. Mmmm. So good!
Stone is cold, has no cushion. Ask Mr Lincoln sitting at his memorial
Customers bump into armrests in aisles constantly. Bump you thigh or knee into stone. Mmmm. So good!
Stone is cold, has no cushion. Ask Mr Lincoln sitting at his memorial
December 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
As someone who works in a performing arts center as a tech, building engineer and helps with cleaning, this is the worst idea.
Customers bump into armrests in aisles constantly. Bump you thigh or knee into stone. Mmmm. So good!
Stone is cold, has no cushion. Ask Mr Lincoln sitting at his memorial
Customers bump into armrests in aisles constantly. Bump you thigh or knee into stone. Mmmm. So good!
Stone is cold, has no cushion. Ask Mr Lincoln sitting at his memorial
"Naughty" and "Nice" aren't mutually exclusive concepts.
December 23, 2025 at 2:35 PM
"Naughty" and "Nice" aren't mutually exclusive concepts.
As Santa Claus Is Coming To Town taught us, Santa has no external genitalia. He reproduces by forming a mucus sac that he fills with his eggs which are fertilized by an elf queen and that then become his elves who live for a year before dying. Their carcasses become the gifts he delivers. #XmasFacts
December 23, 2025 at 2:32 PM
As Santa Claus Is Coming To Town taught us, Santa has no external genitalia. He reproduces by forming a mucus sac that he fills with his eggs which are fertilized by an elf queen and that then become his elves who live for a year before dying. Their carcasses become the gifts he delivers. #XmasFacts
I used to be creative.
December 21, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I used to be creative.
One sentence horror:
There's a ghost in here!
There's a ghost in here!
December 21, 2025 at 1:56 AM
One sentence horror:
There's a ghost in here!
There's a ghost in here!
Whenever someone has a mouse problem, commentors always say GET A CAT but I have TWO CATS and their reaction to the presence of mice has always been sweet fuck-all. Except the one time one of our cats actually ATE A MOUSE WHOLE like a cartoon cat and then threw up the inside out corpse.
December 4, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Whenever someone has a mouse problem, commentors always say GET A CAT but I have TWO CATS and their reaction to the presence of mice has always been sweet fuck-all. Except the one time one of our cats actually ATE A MOUSE WHOLE like a cartoon cat and then threw up the inside out corpse.
Perfect album from the year I turned 16? There were a few viable candidates, but only one sure choice.
November 17, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Perfect album from the year I turned 16? There were a few viable candidates, but only one sure choice.
In honor of Skeleton Season, the greatest conversation I've yet had with my older daughter. #NightmareBeforeChristmas #Skellington
youtu.be/If7cwlZRZLE
youtu.be/If7cwlZRZLE
The Nightmare Before Christmas - Whose Skin?!
YouTube video by Phil Gonzales
youtu.be
October 6, 2025 at 12:25 AM
In honor of Skeleton Season, the greatest conversation I've yet had with my older daughter. #NightmareBeforeChristmas #Skellington
youtu.be/If7cwlZRZLE
youtu.be/If7cwlZRZLE
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
Bathroom laws are child abuse.
Teachers in Scotland have reported that transgender pupils are limiting the amount of food and drink they consume to avoid going to the toilet, where they risk being outed.
https://bit.ly/3VM4zQP
https://bit.ly/3VM4zQP
Teachers say trans pupils are 'limiting food and drink' to avoid school toilets
Teachers in Scotland have reported that some trans pupils are limiting the food and drink they consume to avoid going to the toilet.
www.thepinknews.com
October 2, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Bathroom laws are child abuse.
OMG, what a wonderful writeup by Jessica Armbruster! She nailed exactly what I'm going for with "Trust ̶E̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶s̶ Exorcises"! I will note that my Instagram autocorrect got carried over and it should be Corinna Troth - not Truth! Although Corinna is a VERY truthful collaborator.
What we saw, what we would see again, and what we wish we hadn’t.
18 Hours at the Minnesota Fringe Festival - Racket
What I saw, what I would see again, and what I wish I hadn’t.
racketmn.com
August 5, 2025 at 5:15 PM
OMG, what a wonderful writeup by Jessica Armbruster! She nailed exactly what I'm going for with "Trust ̶E̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶s̶ Exorcises"! I will note that my Instagram autocorrect got carried over and it should be Corinna Troth - not Truth! Although Corinna is a VERY truthful collaborator.
You have three more chances to catch my show at #MinnesotaFringe!
Wednesday, 8/06 – 7 p.m.
Friday, 8/08 – 10 p.m.
Saturday, 8/09 – 8:30 p.m.
At the Rarig Nolte Xperimental Theatre”
minnesotafringe.org/shows/2025/t...
Wednesday, 8/06 – 7 p.m.
Friday, 8/08 – 10 p.m.
Saturday, 8/09 – 8:30 p.m.
At the Rarig Nolte Xperimental Theatre”
minnesotafringe.org/shows/2025/t...
August 5, 2025 at 1:06 PM
You have three more chances to catch my show at #MinnesotaFringe!
Wednesday, 8/06 – 7 p.m.
Friday, 8/08 – 10 p.m.
Saturday, 8/09 – 8:30 p.m.
At the Rarig Nolte Xperimental Theatre”
minnesotafringe.org/shows/2025/t...
Wednesday, 8/06 – 7 p.m.
Friday, 8/08 – 10 p.m.
Saturday, 8/09 – 8:30 p.m.
At the Rarig Nolte Xperimental Theatre”
minnesotafringe.org/shows/2025/t...
What else do you have to say?! Maybe start with what JFK was blown away *by*! A searing guitar solo? A delicious hot buttered roll. A springtime rainbow? Maria Callas's 1955 recording of "La Traviata"? WHAT?
July 14, 2025 at 8:57 PM
What else do you have to say?! Maybe start with what JFK was blown away *by*! A searing guitar solo? A delicious hot buttered roll. A springtime rainbow? Maria Callas's 1955 recording of "La Traviata"? WHAT?
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
I commend our local media. All these people know ALL these people. They’re doing unbelievable work today
June 14, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I commend our local media. All these people know ALL these people. They’re doing unbelievable work today
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
Melissa Hortman, who was assassinated last night, was the Speaker of the Minnesota House in the 2023-2024 session, when Democrats ran the state government.
That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.
That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.
June 14, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Melissa Hortman, who was assassinated last night, was the Speaker of the Minnesota House in the 2023-2024 session, when Democrats ran the state government.
That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.
That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.
If you're in the Twin Cities at the end of July/beginning of August and you want to see a mostly improvised storytelling show about my high school theater experience and how it fucked me up but good, you really only have one option. #MNFringe
Art by the inimitable Mads Torres (madstorres.com)
Art by the inimitable Mads Torres (madstorres.com)
June 13, 2025 at 11:23 PM
If you're in the Twin Cities at the end of July/beginning of August and you want to see a mostly improvised storytelling show about my high school theater experience and how it fucked me up but good, you really only have one option. #MNFringe
Art by the inimitable Mads Torres (madstorres.com)
Art by the inimitable Mads Torres (madstorres.com)
Every time they come up with a new nickname for Trump, Democrats consider that a win and then take the next month off.
June 5, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Every time they come up with a new nickname for Trump, Democrats consider that a win and then take the next month off.
That's a NUDE EGG I won from my GAME.
Wait for the Egg to Hatch
https://store.steampowered.com/app/3760480/
$3.99
Wait for the egg to hatch, there's a surprise waiting for you when it hatch.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/3760480/
$3.99
Wait for the egg to hatch, there's a surprise waiting for you when it hatch.
June 5, 2025 at 2:57 PM
That's a NUDE EGG I won from my GAME.
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
Will someone please tell the costly labor force to stop getting cancer, their poor execs don't want to deal with this.
June 5, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Will someone please tell the costly labor force to stop getting cancer, their poor execs don't want to deal with this.
If you weren't obsessed with Ann Jillian in the '80s, I don't even know how to begin helping you.
#JenniferSleptHere #ItsALiving
#JenniferSleptHere #ItsALiving
June 3, 2025 at 5:51 PM
If you weren't obsessed with Ann Jillian in the '80s, I don't even know how to begin helping you.
#JenniferSleptHere #ItsALiving
#JenniferSleptHere #ItsALiving
Every sibling group has the Normal One, the Shaggy One, the Fat One, the Homeless One, the Brown Haired One, the Spotted One, the Girl, and the Stoned Girl.
"hmmm....can't give them both bows to show they're girls....eyelashes. Nice and long. Oh and Lucy's dress"
May 30, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Every sibling group has the Normal One, the Shaggy One, the Fat One, the Homeless One, the Brown Haired One, the Spotted One, the Girl, and the Stoned Girl.
This guy was a total W.I.L.F.
Wilf
I'd
Like to have as my
Father
Wilf
I'd
Like to have as my
Father
May 30, 2025 at 2:07 PM
This guy was a total W.I.L.F.
Wilf
I'd
Like to have as my
Father
Wilf
I'd
Like to have as my
Father
My dreams are all stress dreams at this point. I literally had a "On no it's the last week of college and I never went to a single class and I have to take the final but I don't know what we covered" dream the other night and I'm 48 years old.
May 30, 2025 at 2:05 PM
My dreams are all stress dreams at this point. I literally had a "On no it's the last week of college and I never went to a single class and I have to take the final but I don't know what we covered" dream the other night and I'm 48 years old.
Reposted by Phil Gonzales
You may not like it, but this is what peak crazy to the max looks like.
May 27, 2025 at 3:03 PM
You may not like it, but this is what peak crazy to the max looks like.