Reposted by Peter Williams
okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Shit in the bed, Fred
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Shit in the bed, Fred
September 27, 2023 at 6:00 PM
okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Shit in the bed, Fred
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Shit in the bed, Fred
Reposted by Peter Williams
Everyone in Eurovision bar the French always used to sing in English and now no one does because they hate us so much, which is valid.
May 17, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Everyone in Eurovision bar the French always used to sing in English and now no one does because they hate us so much, which is valid.
Be honest, who's never noticed Mick's baubles?
March 23, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Be honest, who's never noticed Mick's baubles?
Reposted by Peter Williams
The next 4 years in the USA, summed up in a single image:
January 8, 2025 at 12:44 PM
The next 4 years in the USA, summed up in a single image:
Reposted by Peter Williams
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
December 25, 2024 at 7:57 AM
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
Reposted by Peter Williams
Having a tuna jacket potato and the cat is being a right pest I’m going to tell her what happened to Brian Harvey in a minute she doesn’t want that again
December 18, 2024 at 1:46 PM
Having a tuna jacket potato and the cat is being a right pest I’m going to tell her what happened to Brian Harvey in a minute she doesn’t want that again
Personalised wine
December 14, 2024 at 8:15 PM
Personalised wine
Reposted by Peter Williams
Miracle on 34th Street
[Christmas Day]
Elizabeth Perkins: Wait, Susan! What *else* did you ask Santa for?!
Mara Wilson: A baby brother!
[10 months later]
Elizabeth Perkins: YOU FUCKING WISHED FOR THIS, SUSAN! YOU CHANGE ITS SHITTY FUCKING 3AM DAIPER!
[Christmas Day]
Elizabeth Perkins: Wait, Susan! What *else* did you ask Santa for?!
Mara Wilson: A baby brother!
[10 months later]
Elizabeth Perkins: YOU FUCKING WISHED FOR THIS, SUSAN! YOU CHANGE ITS SHITTY FUCKING 3AM DAIPER!
December 12, 2024 at 7:53 AM
Miracle on 34th Street
[Christmas Day]
Elizabeth Perkins: Wait, Susan! What *else* did you ask Santa for?!
Mara Wilson: A baby brother!
[10 months later]
Elizabeth Perkins: YOU FUCKING WISHED FOR THIS, SUSAN! YOU CHANGE ITS SHITTY FUCKING 3AM DAIPER!
[Christmas Day]
Elizabeth Perkins: Wait, Susan! What *else* did you ask Santa for?!
Mara Wilson: A baby brother!
[10 months later]
Elizabeth Perkins: YOU FUCKING WISHED FOR THIS, SUSAN! YOU CHANGE ITS SHITTY FUCKING 3AM DAIPER!
Pick a movie, keep one actor, the rest are Muppets
Jaws, keep the shark
Jaws, keep the shark
Pick a movie, keep one actor, rest are Muppets
Cabaret, keep Liza
Cabaret, keep Liza
Pick a movie, keep one actor, rest are Muppets
After Hours, Griffin Dunne
Blazing Saddles, Cleavon Little
After Hours, Griffin Dunne
Blazing Saddles, Cleavon Little
December 5, 2024 at 10:26 PM
Pick a movie, keep one actor, the rest are Muppets
Jaws, keep the shark
Jaws, keep the shark
Reposted by Peter Williams
At least GBNews now have someone to fill the traditional 'Weekend Morning Cookery slot' in the schedules.
Saturday Bitchin'
Saturday Bitchin'
December 2, 2024 at 11:42 AM
At least GBNews now have someone to fill the traditional 'Weekend Morning Cookery slot' in the schedules.
Saturday Bitchin'
Saturday Bitchin'
Reposted by Peter Williams
Compare and contrast
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
November 27, 2024 at 8:33 AM
Compare and contrast
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Reposted by Peter Williams
went on twitter to find a picture and it feels like when scar took over the pridelands and all the hyenas are hungry
November 24, 2024 at 2:13 PM
went on twitter to find a picture and it feels like when scar took over the pridelands and all the hyenas are hungry
Reposted by Peter Williams
Instead of “skeet” just keep calling it a “tweet”.
And a “RT”.
And then all call this place “Twitter”.
And then we convince them to rebrand with the bird and we all pretend it has always been Twitter always and gaslight Elon to the point he explodes in a mist of tantrums and dust.
And a “RT”.
And then all call this place “Twitter”.
And then we convince them to rebrand with the bird and we all pretend it has always been Twitter always and gaslight Elon to the point he explodes in a mist of tantrums and dust.
November 22, 2024 at 7:29 PM
Instead of “skeet” just keep calling it a “tweet”.
And a “RT”.
And then all call this place “Twitter”.
And then we convince them to rebrand with the bird and we all pretend it has always been Twitter always and gaslight Elon to the point he explodes in a mist of tantrums and dust.
And a “RT”.
And then all call this place “Twitter”.
And then we convince them to rebrand with the bird and we all pretend it has always been Twitter always and gaslight Elon to the point he explodes in a mist of tantrums and dust.
* Plays emo music *
November 18, 2024 at 9:44 AM
* Plays emo music *
Reposted by Peter Williams
Are we doing those old-school, meandering, ludicrous threads here? They were the best thing about ol’ Twitter.
And, hoo boy, have I got one for you.
Buckle up. We need to talk about Gromit.
🪡 🧵 🪡
And, hoo boy, have I got one for you.
Buckle up. We need to talk about Gromit.
🪡 🧵 🪡
November 16, 2024 at 8:53 PM
Are we doing those old-school, meandering, ludicrous threads here? They were the best thing about ol’ Twitter.
And, hoo boy, have I got one for you.
Buckle up. We need to talk about Gromit.
🪡 🧵 🪡
And, hoo boy, have I got one for you.
Buckle up. We need to talk about Gromit.
🪡 🧵 🪡
This sarnie tastes like poison
November 16, 2024 at 5:05 PM
This sarnie tastes like poison
Reposted by Peter Williams
Lambasted (n): sheep born out of wedlock.
November 16, 2024 at 12:07 AM
Lambasted (n): sheep born out of wedlock.
Reposted by Peter Williams
people who like christmas music have never worked a day of retail in their lives
November 13, 2024 at 6:25 PM
people who like christmas music have never worked a day of retail in their lives
Reposted by Peter Williams
He looks like he’s about to do the Paso Doble on Strictly Come Dancing on week 7
November 13, 2024 at 6:45 PM
He looks like he’s about to do the Paso Doble on Strictly Come Dancing on week 7