As I am being hustled, by now mostly nude and entirely covered in peanut butter, out of the Great Ape enclosure at the zoo, I contort my body to address the local news cameras and gawking passers-by. "It all happens on X," I hiss.

I'll Die On This Hill Time: Teenagers are still children, no matter what Riverdale and other modern media might suggest. If a 6'3" kid comes to your door with a mustache and is costumed and polite, they deserve candy and kindness just as much as the kindergartners do.

DON'T POST YOUR BLUESKY CODES PUBLICLY

Bots are stealing them :/

Announce that you have spare slots then let people DM you or DM people the codes to help keep bots out :)

[shopping on amazon] hm should I buy this product from oulipz or the similar version from dyblot? also the terorod one looks good. maybe this one from cromblor

drive-by blast of HANDSOMENESS

normal people talking about doctors: They're a doctor, you can't say they don't know what they're talking about! They had to undergo YEARS of training and study!

an actual doctor: Hmm I think you're sneezing because you're fat

Just want what they have

“What’s the most expensive hotel you’ve ever stayed at?”

“Any American hospital”

you are 37. you aren't into "cougars", you're into women your own age.

Working while sick feels like a fucking crime. I want to go home.

Hello Bluesky. This is my art. Enjoi 💜