Ben's interior monologue
@plannerben.bsky.social
Incoherent yelling is perfectly acceptable discourse
Pinned
It's all BULLSHIT
And I'm TIRED.
And I'm TIRED.
Here's an idea.
How about next he invades SHUDDUP AND SIDDOWN?
How about next he invades SHUDDUP AND SIDDOWN?
January 6, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Here's an idea.
How about next he invades SHUDDUP AND SIDDOWN?
How about next he invades SHUDDUP AND SIDDOWN?
The Sopranos.
No redemption. No safety. Ever.
No redemption. No safety. Ever.
I really liked the ending to TNG
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 6, 2026 at 11:45 PM
The Sopranos.
No redemption. No safety. Ever.
No redemption. No safety. Ever.
Holy shit! Fox actually showed videos of the Meadowlands swamp on one of the bumpers!
January 4, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Holy shit! Fox actually showed videos of the Meadowlands swamp on one of the bumpers!
I guess 2025 wasn't done yet?
January 4, 2026 at 12:52 AM
I guess 2025 wasn't done yet?
Rubio looks like he could use a drink of water.
January 3, 2026 at 4:56 PM
Rubio looks like he could use a drink of water.
Are Venezuelans in Miami celebrating in front of a *Chevron Station?*
That's not too on-the-nose; that's about a foot down the sinuses.
That's not too on-the-nose; that's about a foot down the sinuses.
January 3, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Are Venezuelans in Miami celebrating in front of a *Chevron Station?*
That's not too on-the-nose; that's about a foot down the sinuses.
That's not too on-the-nose; that's about a foot down the sinuses.
No comment from Jose Altuve about whether he banged on a trash can.
January 3, 2026 at 3:30 PM
No comment from Jose Altuve about whether he banged on a trash can.
So *now* SDNY has a jerkoff willing to bring charges?
January 3, 2026 at 1:48 PM
So *now* SDNY has a jerkoff willing to bring charges?
I ran into some Mormon missionaries at 86th & Columbus.
Trouble in the urban shtetl!
Trouble in the urban shtetl!
January 1, 2026 at 5:07 PM
I ran into some Mormon missionaries at 86th & Columbus.
Trouble in the urban shtetl!
Trouble in the urban shtetl!
This is outstanding
Right after Bam-Bam's adoption had finally gone through, Betty Rubble discovered Barney had fathered a child out of Bedrock.
January 1, 2026 at 12:31 AM
This is outstanding
Did anyone else buy Tyler HIcks's 2026 Ukrainian Artillery Crew of the month calendar yet?
December 31, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Did anyone else buy Tyler HIcks's 2026 Ukrainian Artillery Crew of the month calendar yet?
Bob Uecker is back and he's Japanese.
December 30, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Bob Uecker is back and he's Japanese.
A whole lotta meh
December 29, 2025 at 6:51 PM
A whole lotta meh
We saw "Marty Supreme" last night.
Ping pong still looks like a stupid, stupid sport.
Ping pong still looks like a stupid, stupid sport.
December 27, 2025 at 2:39 PM
We saw "Marty Supreme" last night.
Ping pong still looks like a stupid, stupid sport.
Ping pong still looks like a stupid, stupid sport.
Dammit, it was a hard day for Det. Riggs, too.
December 25, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Dammit, it was a hard day for Det. Riggs, too.
At Urgent Care with sick son.
It's wrong to hope he's got some kind of infection so I can disinvite my elderly mother-in-law for tomorrow, right?
I feel like it's wrong.
It's wrong to hope he's got some kind of infection so I can disinvite my elderly mother-in-law for tomorrow, right?
I feel like it's wrong.
December 24, 2025 at 6:55 PM
At Urgent Care with sick son.
It's wrong to hope he's got some kind of infection so I can disinvite my elderly mother-in-law for tomorrow, right?
I feel like it's wrong.
It's wrong to hope he's got some kind of infection so I can disinvite my elderly mother-in-law for tomorrow, right?
I feel like it's wrong.
"Let's see AI write *this*" he said as he re-capped his Sharpie in the 3rd stall on the left.
December 23, 2025 at 5:06 PM
"Let's see AI write *this*" he said as he re-capped his Sharpie in the 3rd stall on the left.
Gillette assures me that my shaving cream has a "touch of pomegranate."
Clearly I am not to be trifled with.
Clearly I am not to be trifled with.
December 22, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Gillette assures me that my shaving cream has a "touch of pomegranate."
Clearly I am not to be trifled with.
Clearly I am not to be trifled with.
"Daddy, how are babies made?"
"Sometimes, when a Daddy and a Mommy have so much hatred in their hearts that they are full, they create a new heart to pour it into."
"And that's me?"
"Yes, my child. That's you."
"Sometimes, when a Daddy and a Mommy have so much hatred in their hearts that they are full, they create a new heart to pour it into."
"And that's me?"
"Yes, my child. That's you."
December 20, 2025 at 10:11 PM
"Daddy, how are babies made?"
"Sometimes, when a Daddy and a Mommy have so much hatred in their hearts that they are full, they create a new heart to pour it into."
"And that's me?"
"Yes, my child. That's you."
"Sometimes, when a Daddy and a Mommy have so much hatred in their hearts that they are full, they create a new heart to pour it into."
"And that's me?"
"Yes, my child. That's you."
What a nice way for someone to tell me to go fuck myself.
December 17, 2025 at 1:17 PM
What a nice way for someone to tell me to go fuck myself.
"Have a good time ALL the time."
RIP Marty
RIP Marty
December 15, 2025 at 1:19 PM
"Have a good time ALL the time."
RIP Marty
RIP Marty
I don't know why people make such a big deal out of the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles.
All I saw there was a bunch of freaks.
All I saw there was a bunch of freaks.
December 12, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I don't know why people make such a big deal out of the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles.
All I saw there was a bunch of freaks.
All I saw there was a bunch of freaks.
[For everyone I met during my 25-year marketing and advertising career: sorry about that]
December 8, 2025 at 8:14 PM
[For everyone I met during my 25-year marketing and advertising career: sorry about that]
As an experiment, I tried making my coffee with fewer beans based on the idea that I might be overpowering the flavor.
Long story short, I hate you all.
Long story short, I hate you all.
December 8, 2025 at 2:54 PM
As an experiment, I tried making my coffee with fewer beans based on the idea that I might be overpowering the flavor.
Long story short, I hate you all.
Long story short, I hate you all.
[Love, love, love that "Stranger Things" is dropping hints that the Demogorgon is really Richard Simmons]
November 28, 2025 at 10:21 PM
[Love, love, love that "Stranger Things" is dropping hints that the Demogorgon is really Richard Simmons]