Charlie Alzamora
@chalza.bsky.social
Keep it right here for more biting commentary, social disconnection and cognitive decline, served with a hint of levity and oregano.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
A brilliant speech by Canada's Mark Carney in Davos: "The old order is not coming back. We should not mourn it. Nostalgia is not a strategy...The powerful have their power. But we have something too — the capacity to stop pretending, to name reality, to build our strength at home & to act together."
January 20, 2026 at 8:46 PM
A brilliant speech by Canada's Mark Carney in Davos: "The old order is not coming back. We should not mourn it. Nostalgia is not a strategy...The powerful have their power. But we have something too — the capacity to stop pretending, to name reality, to build our strength at home & to act together."
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
Him: where have you been all my life?
Me: hiding from you
Me: hiding from you
January 20, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Him: where have you been all my life?
Me: hiding from you
Me: hiding from you
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
It’s all so stupid. Stupid people being stupid. Stupid.
January 20, 2026 at 10:30 PM
It’s all so stupid. Stupid people being stupid. Stupid.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
This Tuesday could’ve been an email.
January 20, 2026 at 9:07 PM
This Tuesday could’ve been an email.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
January 20, 2026 at 7:16 PM
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking?
ME: It's funny how arrivederci has the word arrive in it when it actually means that you're leaving.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'
ME: It's funny how arrivederci has the word arrive in it when it actually means that you're leaving.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'
January 20, 2026 at 10:01 PM
WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking?
ME: It's funny how arrivederci has the word arrive in it when it actually means that you're leaving.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'
ME: It's funny how arrivederci has the word arrive in it when it actually means that you're leaving.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'
A long time ago, I broke my arm in two places and I've neither been back to either place.
January 20, 2026 at 9:16 PM
A long time ago, I broke my arm in two places and I've neither been back to either place.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
That awkward moment when you're peacefully hanging out in a dark corner of a big closet and have to announce your strangely lurking presence to someone who is coming into the closet while trying not to give them a heart attack
January 20, 2026 at 8:11 PM
That awkward moment when you're peacefully hanging out in a dark corner of a big closet and have to announce your strangely lurking presence to someone who is coming into the closet while trying not to give them a heart attack
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
why punctuate when lol is right there
January 20, 2026 at 8:42 PM
why punctuate when lol is right there
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
Don't know why my hands smell like chili when I ate it with a spoon. 🤔
January 20, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Don't know why my hands smell like chili when I ate it with a spoon. 🤔
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
did know you can choose to despise generative AI, no-one can slop you
January 19, 2026 at 11:13 PM
did know you can choose to despise generative AI, no-one can slop you
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
is this selfie a gateway pic to what you ate for dinner?
January 20, 2026 at 5:13 PM
is this selfie a gateway pic to what you ate for dinner?
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
Feeling someone else’s anxiety distracts me from my own, at least
January 20, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Feeling someone else’s anxiety distracts me from my own, at least
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
I’ve been exploring my spirituality. I stood in the organic aisle in the grocery store and felt a deep connection to an eight-dollar avocado. Then I quickly put it back.
—Enlightenment is too effing expensive.
—Enlightenment is too effing expensive.
January 20, 2026 at 5:54 PM
I’ve been exploring my spirituality. I stood in the organic aisle in the grocery store and felt a deep connection to an eight-dollar avocado. Then I quickly put it back.
—Enlightenment is too effing expensive.
—Enlightenment is too effing expensive.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
If you dont know you are paying for three Door Dash subscriptions, you don't need an app, you need a court appointed guardian.
January 20, 2026 at 6:03 PM
If you dont know you are paying for three Door Dash subscriptions, you don't need an app, you need a court appointed guardian.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
inventing little pants to go under your normal pants. think i’ll call them underoverpants
January 20, 2026 at 5:57 PM
inventing little pants to go under your normal pants. think i’ll call them underoverpants
My cat’s depressed. Says he lacks purrpuss.
January 20, 2026 at 5:13 PM
My cat’s depressed. Says he lacks purrpuss.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
The good news is I slept in. The bad news is I wasn't supposed to.
January 20, 2026 at 12:46 PM
The good news is I slept in. The bad news is I wasn't supposed to.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
Jan. 1: I'm going to be making some sognificant changes to my diet.
Jan. 20: I had Popeye's red beans and rice for breakfast.
Jan. 20: I had Popeye's red beans and rice for breakfast.
January 20, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Jan. 1: I'm going to be making some sognificant changes to my diet.
Jan. 20: I had Popeye's red beans and rice for breakfast.
Jan. 20: I had Popeye's red beans and rice for breakfast.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
So what exactly is that "protein foam" in those new Starbucks drinks anyway?
January 20, 2026 at 3:28 PM
So what exactly is that "protein foam" in those new Starbucks drinks anyway?
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
Getting to an age where you have to think about what you're doing if you die and you're discovered dead is where my head is right now.
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Tuesday!
January 20, 2026 at 12:58 PM
Getting to an age where you have to think about what you're doing if you die and you're discovered dead is where my head is right now.
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Tuesday!
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
In retrospect, I should have been more concerned that as a child my favorite piece of playground equipment was the mood swing.
January 20, 2026 at 12:50 AM
In retrospect, I should have been more concerned that as a child my favorite piece of playground equipment was the mood swing.
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
So much progress, and still no bills that pay themselves
January 16, 2026 at 1:03 PM
So much progress, and still no bills that pay themselves
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
A ten, but calls your coffee ''our coffee''
January 19, 2026 at 5:19 PM
A ten, but calls your coffee ''our coffee''
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
I posted before I caught up on my notifications and now my whole day is out of order
January 19, 2026 at 7:02 PM
I posted before I caught up on my notifications and now my whole day is out of order