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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 59m

Psst. Don't tell anyone but I just opened the government. The key was under a flower pot.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Uncle Kermit @unclekermit.bsky.social · 2h

There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by a radical new surgical treatment. Sorry, your love is not enough.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Jen(s) Mothra 🏵️🎉 @jenetmms.bsky.social · 4h

current mood: cutting and dying my hair in a gas station bathroom to change my identity

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 9h

When Maureen McCormick puts her hair in an updo is it all braidy?

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Kat Alderson 🎉 @klaybourne.bsky.social · 6h

I guess if everything falls apart, I can always shitpost on my local library's message board.

Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 7h

I guess if everything falls apart, I can always shitpost at Costco.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 5h

there’s a lot going on rn so don’t forget to pencil in time to scream

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ceej @ceej.online · 5h

bad bunny should not play the super bowl half time show because he is not a good role model for children. they should get good bunny

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 10h

"God is dead"
-Nietzsche

"Nietzche is dead"
-God

"Meep Meep"
-Beaker

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 6h

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 10h

Me looking for a new place to live: ugh I just moved two years ago

Me going to the gym: ugh I just moved two years ago

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 9h

i have a post about the guy who directed Chimp Crazy but it’s not very Goode .

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 9h

Oh, you mean fall as in autumn, not as in "of civilization."

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 8h

I hope America lasts another 6 months because I JUST FUCKING GOT NINE INCH NAILS TICKETS 🤘

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 9h

Brady Bunch alumnus Eve Plumb loves all kinds of tea with the exception of matcha, matcha, matcha.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 11h

my slutty schrödinger halloween costume may or may not be all finished

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Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 10h

I will never not judge the efficacy of a vitamin by the pretty color it turns my pee.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 11h

oh no! the ‘search posts’ link is not working !

𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ’𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 10h

When Charlie Brown sulked for 40 years upon receiving only rocks in his pillowcase, I felt that

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human @bshuman.bsky.social · 1d

Remember when America was American?

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 10h

We need like a Saturday or something right after Tuesday because Wednesday ain’t it

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Network Sportsball Analyst @fakesportsceleb.bsky.social · 11h

Unlike those tightwads at the airport, I will gladly accept your Costco card as “proper ID”

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 1d

Drinking Miller lite out of a wine glass who gives a shit anymore

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Gen Existential Crisis @ru12bseen.com · 12h

Anxiety Intoxication Regret Syndrome (AIRS): that condition that arises after a period of high anxiety during which an individual says/posts audacious statements out of the overflow of anxiety which appear embarrassingly dramatic when the anxiety is reduced.

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Reposted by Charlie Alzamora

Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve never let an onion ring go to voicemail.

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 13h

Here's a copy of the Bill of Rights. Freedom and weep.

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