Good morning, wonderfuls ♥️

Campaigning to be the democratic socialist mayor of Margaritaville

Bluesky taught me the joy of blocking. I block people everywhere now. I just blocked an ex boyfriend on duolingo. I can't stop.

My sewing instructor just told me that I'm the worst student she has ever seen.

Oops. Wrong thread.

My current girlfriend just asked why I have a coffee mug monogrammed with the names of my last three girlfriends. 🤬

women are so pretty

imma write a book about philosophy & call it “I Kant. Even” or “I Used to Get High. Marx” or “For Hume. The Bell Tolls” or “Bacon & Eggs-istentialism” or “I Feel Like Thoreau-ing Up” or

I contained multitudes yesterday; it's your turn to do it.

blocking them isn’t enough. i want them to forever be stuck behind a slow walker

My entire experience. Whack-a-mole.

when you go to a mutuals page to catch up on their new posts but get distracted by the reposts on their page and jump to another mutuals page via the first mutual then another and another then you realise you forgot to check the first mutuals new posts so you go back and the cycle starts again

Exactly. No thanks.

I want some fucking cheesecake

I shot a Halloween Porn. It's called Sleepaway Tramp.

Don't dream it. Be it. ❤️❤️❤️

🤦‍♂️

I shot a Halloween Porn. It's called Psych-Ho

I'd be more upset by the prospect of Bsky dissolving if it was anything more than a figment of my imagination.

I love it when I make eye contact with my cat and he starts purring 🥰😻

I shot a Halloween Porn. It’s called i know who you did last summer

Captchas as foreplay.

Village People... You mean the Blew Man Group?

You should be legally obliged to have the same avi and/or handle across all social media apps.

Edward I: "Promise to me that you won't call your sexy, lanky, exuberant boyfriend out of exile after I die."

Edward II: "Yes, father."