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plutosrose.bsky.social
Bird
@plutosrose.bsky.social
30s | she/her | minors DNI | dueling PhD | aspiring gym bro | multifandom garbage bin | fanfic writer
Reposted by Bird
i know WHY this is but that just makes it even more of a kick in the pants lmao
November 28, 2025 at 3:28 AM
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me: do you have any black friday deals?

doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
November 28, 2025 at 6:32 AM
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This was on the side of a CVS, and I think it is so funny
November 27, 2025 at 3:33 AM
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“i hate when fic writers—” “my pet peeve is when—” “this fic is so bad” ok, close the tab and go write your own
November 26, 2025 at 10:24 PM
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DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich

ME: oh dang that sounds so good

DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
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you've tweeted 452k times since december 2013. that's 103 tweets a day. assuming you sleep 8 hours a day, that's a new tweet every ten mins for twelve years. talking about how to attract a high value man. brother, you need to attract a HIGH VALUE JOB
November 27, 2025 at 11:49 AM
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Things I’ve never watched .

1. Stranger Things
November 27, 2025 at 2:43 PM
I know I'm unemployed and the job market is cuckoo banana pants, but I'd rather be out on the street than work for ICE
November 27, 2025 at 2:57 PM
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ELPHABA
and
GLINDA
will return
SUMMER 2027
in SINNERS 2
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 PM
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"there are no third spaces anymore" wrong. blast furnace
November 25, 2025 at 12:59 AM
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We should replace “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” with “give yourself uppies”
November 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
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Today we are reading vintage Richard Scarry
November 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
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after they release the epstein files they should release the batgirl movie
November 24, 2025 at 4:14 AM
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today in biscuits
November 23, 2025 at 1:54 PM
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November 23, 2025 at 5:57 AM
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Reading about the bolsheviks and if podcasts had existed back then all these guys would've done that instead
November 23, 2025 at 4:39 AM
*packing to travel* how many books do I usually read in a week? Sixty-five?
November 23, 2025 at 1:04 PM
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playing tom raider. hide your toms
November 23, 2025 at 4:56 AM
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Almost a year now since I received this absolutely classic burn from the Canadian government.
November 21, 2025 at 9:10 PM
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This might be the single funniest thing that has happened during this incredibly cursed year
November 21, 2025 at 9:59 PM
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November 21, 2025 at 10:37 PM
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Three examples of pastels featuring trees.
November 21, 2025 at 5:43 PM
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We have to turn impostor syndrome into a pill and give it to every prominent person in this country. They should constantly be worrying that they're stupid
November 21, 2025 at 5:16 PM