Roberto
@rachavez.bsky.social
Reposted by Roberto
Sigh. Once again, if you are warning us about fascism while posting on Substack you’re asking us to do work YOU 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 WILLING 👏 TO 👏 DO.
December 24, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Sigh. Once again, if you are warning us about fascism while posting on Substack you’re asking us to do work YOU 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 WILLING 👏 TO 👏 DO.
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service
Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service
WASHINGTON—Praising the recipients for their acts of true American cowardice, President Donald Trump proudly announced a new “Dodger Dividend” on Wednesday night for anyone who successfully avoided mi...
theonion.com
December 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service
Reposted by Roberto
The Bulgarian people have spoken loud and clear against a corrupt regime. The government has resigned.
December 14, 2025 at 4:18 PM
The Bulgarian people have spoken loud and clear against a corrupt regime. The government has resigned.
Reposted by Roberto
The Ethicist | A high school senior in our co-op wrote her college essay about her nanny being deported and got into Yale early action. While we love our Irma, my daughter is a junior at Brearley and has Ivy aspirations. What if I arranged for Irma to just be detained, not deported?
December 12, 2025 at 1:40 PM
The Ethicist | A high school senior in our co-op wrote her college essay about her nanny being deported and got into Yale early action. While we love our Irma, my daughter is a junior at Brearley and has Ivy aspirations. What if I arranged for Irma to just be detained, not deported?
Reposted by Roberto
![Comic. Panels up to the 10-year point are grayed out. New panels since the Ten Years comic, which chronicles the first ten years of PERSON 1's journey with cancer: (1) [two people in bed] PERSON 1 (woman): One more chapter? PERSON 2 (man): Don’t we both have to get up early? PERSON 1: Nnnnnggggh PERSON 2: Sure, good point. (2) [many people wearing masks, walking while looking at graphs on their phones] (3) [birds landing on people] PERSON 2 in beanie and scarf: Hah! They like *my* seeds best. PERSON 1 in scarf holding phone with a bird sitting on it: Wait, how do I take a picture of this one? (4) [two people rowing boats with tree landscape] (5) [Person 1 carries overflowing stack of things to Person 2 in bed] PERSON 1: I brought you honey lemon tea, more pillows, a cinnamon roll, Tylenol, another blanket, a– PERSON 2: It was just Appendicitis, I’m really– PERSON 1: *It is my turn to take care of you and I am going to do it right!* (6) [Two people in car] (7) [still in car) PERSON 1: Oh my god. PERSON 2: Oh my god. (8) [car driving] PERSON 1: Pull over! PERSON 2: I am! (9) [both people get out of car] (10) [Large colored panel of aurora borealis over water with both people looking on] (11) [Person 1 sits against tree while Person 2 lies on the ground] PERSON 1: Fifteen years. No sign of the cancer. (12) I *am* having some weird symptoms. Joint pain. Fatigue. I think I’m losing my close-up vision. PERSON 2: Yeah. Me too. (13) PERSON 2: I think we’re getting old. (14) PERSON 1: I guess that’s okay. PERSON 2: It’s all I wanted.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreihwhjblp5lyiwp63ouar7ocfea7evmckytoeo7rkfuoo4gw5rnrra@jpeg)
November 26, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Reposted by Roberto
Pete Hegseth Invokes ‘Fog Of War’ After Pissing In Break Room Refrigerator https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-invokes-fog-of-war-after-pissing-in-break-room-refrigerator/
December 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Pete Hegseth Invokes ‘Fog Of War’ After Pissing In Break Room Refrigerator https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-invokes-fog-of-war-after-pissing-in-break-room-refrigerator/
Reposted by Roberto
If you need to understand what's happening, this farce is a perfect place to begin.
A broken, unhappy man is being given a fake award he doesn't deserve by a corrupt group looking to bribe him and earn favors. It's meaningless, everything he wants, and it won't matter to him within an hour.
A broken, unhappy man is being given a fake award he doesn't deserve by a corrupt group looking to bribe him and earn favors. It's meaningless, everything he wants, and it won't matter to him within an hour.
December 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
If you need to understand what's happening, this farce is a perfect place to begin.
A broken, unhappy man is being given a fake award he doesn't deserve by a corrupt group looking to bribe him and earn favors. It's meaningless, everything he wants, and it won't matter to him within an hour.
A broken, unhappy man is being given a fake award he doesn't deserve by a corrupt group looking to bribe him and earn favors. It's meaningless, everything he wants, and it won't matter to him within an hour.
Reposted by Roberto
“In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth
Pete Hegseth Invokes ‘Fog Of War’ After Pissing In Break Room Refrigerator
ARLINGTON, VA—Describing the incident as a split-second operational judgment made under rapidly evolving conditions, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth invoked the “fog of war” Thursday to explain why he ...
theonion.com
December 6, 2025 at 12:30 AM
“In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth
Reposted by Roberto
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
BOSTON—Stressing that the move would help keep digital currencies liquid through the coming year, crypto leaders called for an infusion of 20 million dopes Thursday to stabilize the market. “We’re cal...
theonion.com
December 1, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
Reposted by Roberto
FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College https://theonion.com/fda-bans-captain-morgan-rum-after-having-way-too-much-of-that-shit-in-college/
November 26, 2025 at 11:00 PM
FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College https://theonion.com/fda-bans-captain-morgan-rum-after-having-way-too-much-of-that-shit-in-college/
Reposted by Roberto
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday imposing a 100% tax on the profits of movi...
theonion.com
November 17, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy https://theonion.com/trump-invites-jeffrey-epstein-on-stage-to-explain-there-no-conspiracy/
November 13, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy https://theonion.com/trump-invites-jeffrey-epstein-on-stage-to-explain-there-no-conspiracy/
Reposted by Roberto
Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers
November 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers
Reposted by Roberto
NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally
NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally
NEW YORK—Following a series of illicit betting scandals that have sent shock waves through the league, the National Basketball Association issued a statement Monday reaffirming its commitment to gambl...
theonion.com
November 3, 2025 at 8:00 PM
NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally
Reposted by Roberto
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs https://theonion.com/ice-agent-panics-after-realizing-there-more-children-than-he-has-flash-bangs/
November 3, 2025 at 8:30 PM
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs https://theonion.com/ice-agent-panics-after-realizing-there-more-children-than-he-has-flash-bangs/
Reposted by Roberto
RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-greets-trick-or-treaters-with-big-bowl-of-ape-glands/
October 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-greets-trick-or-treaters-with-big-bowl-of-ape-glands/
Reposted by Roberto
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too
CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph Jackson found that the man who recorded the perennial ...
theonion.com
October 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too
Reposted by Roberto
“The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services
Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold
WASHINGTON—Praising the process as yet another miracle of biology that modern medicine chooses to ignore, a gray-lipped Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke at a press conference Wednesday during which he tout...
theonion.com
October 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
October 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life https://theonion.com/trump-defends-demolition-of-yggdrasil-ancient-tree-of-life/
October 27, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life https://theonion.com/trump-defends-demolition-of-yggdrasil-ancient-tree-of-life/
Reposted by Roberto
Adelita Grijalva won her Congressional race fair and square THREE WEEKS ago.
Mike Johnson’s refusal to seat her is an absolute disgrace.
Seat her now. www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...
Mike Johnson’s refusal to seat her is an absolute disgrace.
Seat her now. www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...
Who is Adelita Grijalva and why hasn't she been sworn in to Congress yet?
Democrats are ramping up the pressure on House Speaker Mike Johnson to swear in Rep.-elect Adelita Grijalva, an Arizona Democrat who won a special election last month to succeed her late father.
www.pbs.org
October 14, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Adelita Grijalva won her Congressional race fair and square THREE WEEKS ago.
Mike Johnson’s refusal to seat her is an absolute disgrace.
Seat her now. www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...
Mike Johnson’s refusal to seat her is an absolute disgrace.
Seat her now. www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...
Reposted by Roberto
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building https://theonion.com/after-careful-thought-teen-applies-to-college-where-fa-1819577078/
October 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building https://theonion.com/after-careful-thought-teen-applies-to-college-where-fa-1819577078/
Reposted by Roberto
Best captcha ever.
October 5, 2025 at 7:27 AM
Best captcha ever.
Reposted by Roberto
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President
WASHINGTON—Calling him “the best man for the job,” President Donald Trump reportedly asked JD Vance Thursday to research whether the president was allowed to kill the vice president. “I mean, Article ...
theonion.com
October 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President