@salalands.bsky.social
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Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
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In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.
January 23, 2026 at 4:01 PM
In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.
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Man Sneaks Bag Of Outside Stimuli Into Sensory Deprivation Tank https://theonion.com/man-sneaks-bag-of-outside-stimuli-into-sensory-deprivation-tank/
December 27, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Man Sneaks Bag Of Outside Stimuli Into Sensory Deprivation Tank https://theonion.com/man-sneaks-bag-of-outside-stimuli-into-sensory-deprivation-tank/
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you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
December 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
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me, my wife, my son and my dog all have our christmases on the exact same day of the year. the odds of this are approximately 1 in 48 million
December 25, 2025 at 4:00 PM
me, my wife, my son and my dog all have our christmases on the exact same day of the year. the odds of this are approximately 1 in 48 million
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muppet christmas carol (happy holidays!)
December 21, 2025 at 7:56 PM
muppet christmas carol (happy holidays!)
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i subscribed to the red zone channel in order to hear the latest about draftkings, but i'd conservatively estimate that 75% of the broadcast has nothing to do with draftkings. they keep trying to shoehorn in all these football games. i don't like football. i don't watch football. what is this shit
December 7, 2025 at 6:30 PM
i subscribed to the red zone channel in order to hear the latest about draftkings, but i'd conservatively estimate that 75% of the broadcast has nothing to do with draftkings. they keep trying to shoehorn in all these football games. i don't like football. i don't watch football. what is this shit
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so there are different colleges? i always heard people say “going to college,” which made it sound like there was just one of them, like “going to france” or something. but if there are lots of different colleges they need to come up with different names and colors and such so we can tell them apart
December 7, 2025 at 5:53 PM
so there are different colleges? i always heard people say “going to college,” which made it sound like there was just one of them, like “going to france” or something. but if there are lots of different colleges they need to come up with different names and colors and such so we can tell them apart
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wheeeeeeeeeeeeee, punter went for a ride
November 29, 2025 at 1:58 AM
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee, punter went for a ride
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Hey authors! Check to see if Anthropic stole your book to train their slop generator on. You’re entitled to $1500 per stolen Work.
Look up your work, and if you’re in the database, file a claim
secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/lookup/
Look up your work, and if you’re in the database, file a claim
secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/lookup/
Submit a Claim
secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com
November 18, 2025 at 7:39 AM
Hey authors! Check to see if Anthropic stole your book to train their slop generator on. You’re entitled to $1500 per stolen Work.
Look up your work, and if you’re in the database, file a claim
secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/lookup/
Look up your work, and if you’re in the database, file a claim
secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/lookup/
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the silver lining about taking a tough loss in a college football game is that at least it was only a practice game. the actual football games don't start until tomorrow
November 15, 2025 at 8:40 PM
the silver lining about taking a tough loss in a college football game is that at least it was only a practice game. the actual football games don't start until tomorrow
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As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 11:33 AM
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
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Heh. I actually do "experience pleasure," just like any normal person. I have pleasurable experiences every day. I read books, of course, and watch movies. Even the odd television show. I consume food and experience the same pleasure as everybody else. I enjoy things. I am capable of enjoying things
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Heh. I actually do "experience pleasure," just like any normal person. I have pleasurable experiences every day. I read books, of course, and watch movies. Even the odd television show. I consume food and experience the same pleasure as everybody else. I enjoy things. I am capable of enjoying things
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gobble gobble — it’s halloween week in the nfl! while some lucky nfl teams will find a valentine in their stocking, others will find a veteran or president
October 26, 2025 at 5:56 PM
gobble gobble — it’s halloween week in the nfl! while some lucky nfl teams will find a valentine in their stocking, others will find a veteran or president
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thank god the red zone channel started running commercials. when it was commercial-free i'd get to 7:30 p.m., look at how i'd spent my day, and realize i'd burned through an entire sunday without growing or developing at all as a consumer. and if i'm not a consumer i'm nothing at all
October 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
thank god the red zone channel started running commercials. when it was commercial-free i'd get to 7:30 p.m., look at how i'd spent my day, and realize i'd burned through an entire sunday without growing or developing at all as a consumer. and if i'm not a consumer i'm nothing at all
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if you enjoy this post, be sure to share it with your friends
September 17, 2025 at 6:36 PM
if you enjoy this post, be sure to share it with your friends
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Free Palestine forever 🇵🇸
September 16, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Free Palestine forever 🇵🇸
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It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/
September 9, 2025 at 2:00 PM
It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/
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throughout this month we'll finally drop SCORIGAMI on youtube, free to watch for everybody. first episode premieres live tomorrow night at 9 p.m. eastern
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHNw...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHNw...
When a tractor company played in the NFL | SCORIGAMI, Part 1 of 4
YouTube video by Secret Base
www.youtube.com
September 9, 2025 at 1:24 AM
throughout this month we'll finally drop SCORIGAMI on youtube, free to watch for everybody. first episode premieres live tomorrow night at 9 p.m. eastern
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHNw...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHNw...
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41-40 is scorigami, congrats everybody
September 8, 2025 at 3:38 AM
41-40 is scorigami, congrats everybody
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get mr beast away from my football i shouldnt even have to know he exists, this is a breach of trust
September 6, 2025 at 1:40 AM
get mr beast away from my football i shouldnt even have to know he exists, this is a breach of trust
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watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social
August 16, 2025 at 2:23 AM
watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social