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@sloaneliest.com

35 followers 57 following 210 posts

Funniest woman in Seattle, as voted on by 1 out of 10 dentists.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 20d

I finally get it: They're called "Bowling for Soup" because soup comes in a bowl. The mysteries of our dark universe revealed to me.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 5h

Good question.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 9h

Woke lies in wait, plotting its inevitable return to power. Enjoy slurs while you still can, but keep your sword at the ready.

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competentposter @competentposter.bsky.social · 11h

"The psychic toll of social media has given me brain poisoning" bro I would not follow you into combat I will say that much

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J🔥HELL🔥P @jlp.systems · 12h

Serious horsepowder

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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 12h

If your parents never got divorced you have a sacred duty to help people with divorced parents navigate the cloak and dagger world of intimacy

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ghost @11828appelstall.bsky.social · 12h

when i do this it makes me feel like the incredible huck

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 12h

It's where you blow your nose by covering one nostril and breathing out through your nose real hard, no tissue.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 13h

This whole time I thought hawk tuah was about performing the farmer's blow? You guys are incorrigible.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 14h

Oldhead content creator who says "Remember to like and add my web page to your RSS feed."

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 14h

The scheming vizier of my mind palace has yet again betrayed me.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Sam, don't make me laugh that hard right now. I'm being moody and pensive.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

When I was a kid my family was always telling me I had the worst hitchhiker's thumb they'd ever seen. Maybe that's why I took off.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Hitchhikers in 5000 years.

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Laugh.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Woman with anger issues.

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updates troglodyte updates george: 2 @troglodytegeorge.bsky.social · 1d

going to the groupchat where everyone sends pictures of rainbows they see and asking if they ever get tired of bothering me

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Guy who goes to therapy to stop item hoarding in JRPGs.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Anybody who remembers what my posts were like when they were good, it's on sight.

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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 2d

Hey siri let me speak to your father or husband

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 2d

telling everyone at the party that i do a killer yoda impression, no one seems to care, i do it anyways, i don't change my voice at all, talk like this i do, everyone is telling me to stop, i do it for three more hours, i feel a pang of loneliness, it doesn't matter though, I'm a jedi master

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

I had a drink sometime this year that was a shot of Midori with a pint Guinness floated on top, and it was pretty good.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

It's an anal expulsive world, and you're retaining in it.

🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Thought that was curacao for a second.

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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 2d

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🔪🥚🥚💦 @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Good! I hate being wet.