stondmaskin
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stondmaskin.bsky.social
stondmaskin
@stondmaskin.bsky.social
16 followers 42 following 31 posts
listen folks, i'm dumb
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timeskull.bsky.social
The 3 swords are the merchant’s party members
November 29, 2025 at 8:11 PM
stondmaskin.bsky.social
i believe in you
good luck miguel
YouTube video by stondmaskin
youtu.be
November 11, 2025 at 11:52 PM
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timeskull.bsky.social
830 - Parable Shit & 831 - More Funding
p1 - On the banks of a subterranean river, two ferry businesses have set up shop. One is run by a giant frog and scorpion, and the other by a regular-sized fox, goose, and sack of grain. A Swimming-themed Adventurer (wearing enchanted water wings, life vest, tropical trunks, aqua socks, and a stripe of zinc oxide over his nose) looks at both teams with limited patience. Swimming Adventurer: oh great... SA: more PARABLE shit p2 - SA has boarded the frog and they are swimming across the river. SA: Scorpion, if you sting frog, I'm going to kill you immediately. Scorpion: sure. got it. "no stinging" p3 - Scorpion stings frog in the head stinger: poit S: oh, whoops Frog: tee hee! SA: Fucker! (he slashes them with his paddle-shaped sword in an 'Iai' technique) Scorpion parts go flying, and Frog is nearly beheaded Scorpion's head: Haw Haw! p4 SA (swimming away, crawl style): Let's try the next one 831 - More Funding p1 - Swimming Adventurer is climbing out of the water to board a rowboat Voice From off Panel: Welcome Aboard! p2 - The Fox is struggling to swallow whole the Goose, who is likewise swallowing the whole bag of grain. They are making stupid faces SA (kicking them off the boat): Like I give a shit!! p3 - SA has put oars in the oarlocks and is rowing toward the other side Mechanized Voice: NON-ANIMAL-CREWED VESSEL DETECTED SA: ? p4 - A BattleTech, approximated as Opa-Opa Fantasy Star with big mecha legs and missile pods, launches a salvo of missiles at the tiny rowboat BattleTech: ENGAGING. SA: WHAT THE- p5 - The rowboat is consumed by a massive explosion, we see this on a video monitor in the Dungeon Conference room BT: TARGET ELIMINATED. Chappy Chappy, Troll, SmartHat, Alex (pounding table): More Funding! CC, T, SH, A (pounding table): More Funding! More Funding! Beireia (shrugs) The Lich (hating technology): Boo!
November 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
ironspike.bsky.social
Have you ever been so fucking delighted by a username/icon set that it made you follow a total stranger
URSUAL K LE GUN
October 15, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
828 - Ironically, Physical Trauma From The Bomb Killed Them Outright
p1 - split panel, above, Chappy walks carelessly through a maintenance corridor while looking at his orb. Below, 2 torch-wielding Adventurers converse Adventurer 1: This is the farthest we've ever gone, but it's time to head back. Adventurer 2: Yeah, I can barely carry all this loot! p2 - split panel, above, closeup of Chappy's foot getting tangled with the power cord to a "Torch Inducer" machine and unplugging it, below, the Adventurers are plunged into darkness, only their eyes are seen, loony tunes, style Torches: ffss... p3 - the eyes in the darkness are distended by fear A1&2: UOAAAHH!! A1:We're miles... MILES from the exit... If the torches don't come back on... there's NO WAY we'll make it back... bro, p4 - A2's eyes look suddenly calm A2: Wait, bro, our phones have a flashlight. A1: oh yeah. A1: WHEW! I thought we were gonna die! Thank god for modern technology! p5 - A1&2 have turned on the flashlights of their phones, revealing a shitty-looking humanoid monster walking toward them and carrying a large bomb with an LCD screen reading "EMP"
October 8, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
825 - Top Ten Most Literalest Koans
p1 - a Civ6 missionary unit for Buddhism who looks suspiciously like Linji Yixuan is proselytizing. A Deranged Ruffian listens excitedly while licking his knife LY: "If you meet a buddha on the road, you must kill him" DR: Sounds like my kind of religion! DR: I'm sold! p2 - DR is on the road, and has met the Buddha, who is 4 m tall, made of bronze, has turrets full of battleship cannons, is deploying an AT fieldo, electrified seismic stomp, lotus missile pods, etc. The buddha's health bar is so long it breaks thru the panel boundary Health Bar: Buddha on the Road (1st Form) DR: What the-?! What is this health bar?? First Form??? p3 - DR is badly injured, he has to hold his head to stop it falling off and needs crutches to stand. He is crying real tears over his tough guy tear tattoos. Some more Civ6 missionaries for some dumb custom religion are proselytizing and their god who looks like a magical girl mascot is there too. Missionary: Our God is WEAK as HELL!! DR: sign me up, brother!
October 8, 2025 at 1:24 PM
stondmaskin.bsky.social
i am having a genuine laugh in public at this one @timeskull.bsky.social
September 2, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
thejubomalseeco.bsky.social
My sentient enchanted sword came out to me as transmasc. Talk about Un-She/They-ing your blade! I told him "I don't care how you identify, I just need you to he/it whatever is in front of me!"
August 27, 2025 at 12:20 AM
stondmaskin.bsky.social
August 16, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
819 - Who Judges the Judgers? A Magic Dog-Guy.
&
820 - Knights of the Round + W-Summon + Mime + Etc.
p1 Exoth: The whole point of you was to run errands and now you can't R (interrupting): Alright, just give me the artifact! I know you've got some dumb item that'll fix this, just hand it over. p2 - one of EX's drones hands R an Ankh with key teeth EX: Fine! Here! R: Whoa, is this a keyblade? EX: It is not. p3 - R is accosted by a handcuff-wielding cop Cop1 - Hey kid, I saw yer video! Thought you were safe cuz the crime spree zeroed out the statute of limitations? But u didn't count on.. C1 - Me ABUSING my AUTHORITY! p4 - The city has disappeared. R and C1 now stand in a pure black space. R is holding the Ankh p5 - Mystical Flames burst into existence around R and C1. R is smirking now, while C1 seems alarmed. An animalistic shadow is cast over them. Flames: Thoom C1: W-W-What the! p6 -Anubis but with a Doberman's head instead of a Jackal's, looks down on them sternly. 820 p1 - Blanubis points at Cop1 accusingly, he holds a scale with "BAD" outweighing "goo" by a wide margin. BN: You swore to faithfully serve the law, but now you corrupt it, to make law your servant. C1: That's a lie! I Want Justice! p2 - The ground beneath C1 has sunk to form a pit, small demons emerge from the walls and tear at C1's uniform and skin. R mugs for the camera smugly C1: I Want Jus- aAAH! C1: AAh! NOO! p3 - the pit bores deep down, its bottom disappearing into a black void. The demons shred Cop's uniform + face, revealing the beagle boy-style crook beneath. His number plate reads '24603', and one of the black stripes on his prison jumpsuit is a thin blue line. He falls helplessly into the abyss C1: NOOOooooooo p4 - Back in the city, cops line up to arrest R Cop2: Get Arrested, punk! R: !! Didn't you see your friend just get dragged to hell for this? Give it up! C2: ?? No, he must've got erased like he never existed. Now freeze! C2: like [Balefire] Cop4: oh yea Cop3: Can't wait 4 my turn 2 arrest him. R: >sigh< Here we go again
August 6, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
catbus.phd
?
green phosphor screencap of a rat holding an invitation the RAT LORD cordially invites you to the SEWER for a TASTEFUL DINING EXPERIENCE how do you ACCEPT this invitation? > With GRATITUDE > With ENTHUSIASM
August 4, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
leyawn.bsky.social
rolling into town like a jrpg character and demanding to see the mayor
leftistwonk.bsky.social W.E.D.em Boyz @leftistwonk.bsky.social · Aug 1
Canadian billionaire Kevin O’Leary thinks he should be entitled to a meeting with Zohran Mamdani
August 1, 2025 at 2:06 PM
stondmaskin.bsky.social
chainsaw man remains the best manga, simple as
chaircheck.bsky.social Lt. Com. Alexis Chaircheck @chaircheck.bsky.social · Jul 30
I just want to point out again
August 1, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
jesawyer.bsky.social
gm
YouTube thumb illustration of a guy bent backward in a narrow cave with half his head stuck in water. Labeled 17 HOURS. Title is The Most Painful Cave Deaths Of All Time
July 27, 2025 at 2:14 PM
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oldfriend99.bsky.social
Paul McCartney's mother forbade him from listening to The Beatles when he was growing up. "It wouldn't make sense," she'd say. "It doesn't make any sense.."
July 27, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
leyawn.bsky.social
DR. MANHATTAN: It’s July, 2025. I’m on Bluesky arguing about DoorDash.

DR. MANHATTAN: It’s October, 2023. I’m on X arguing about DoorDash.

DR. MANHATTAN: It’s March, 2019. I’m on Twitter arguing about DoorDash.

DR. MANHATTAN: It’s 2015. I’m downloading a new delivery app to my phone.
July 27, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
815 - More Like "Good Glame"
p1 - A caveman in hospital scrubs holds a solved rubiks cube. His right cheeck has been marked with an x Bald Scientist (behind observation window): Alright Glame, great work. There's just one more test, so please step over to the next window. BS: Tell me if you recognize anything. p2 - Caveman Glame is shocked at his reflection in the mirror, together they touch the mark on their respective cheecks. Glame: This... not window... Glame recognize... ..GLAME! BS: HE SAID IT!! p3 - workers begin deconstructing the lab as the scientists exit. Glame looks around, confused BS: That's a wrap, good game, everyone! p4 - Glame stands, shell-shocked on a sidewalk. The camera has panned out to a high angle, people pass by, ignoring Glame, except for an aggressive-looking cop holding his gun. Cop: suspicious perp... p5 - We have zoomed out to see the earth floating in space. Chrono Trigger "But the future refused to change" font: It was earth all along!
July 8, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
812 - The Tradwight Is An Artificial Construct
p1 - An adventurer wearing a toga and marble statue helm battles a skeleton in a "rough part of town" area of the dungeon. A rat smokes a cigarette on a busted crate and there is a poster for "drugz" Traditional Adventurer (stabbing his rapier through a skeleton's ribcage, uselessly): I am Sick of these modern undead that barely react when you penetrate them with piercing. Skeleton: Nya ha ha! TA: These skeletons are "run through" p2 - Elsewhere, Alex and the Lich watch through the crystal ball monitoring system. TA (kicking the skeleton): I need to find a "tradwight" Alex + Lich: Muwa haha! A+L: Prepare to die, fool! p3 - A stitched-together undead woman with bride of Frankenstein hair clumsily operates a butter churn. TA's eyes bug out and his tongue does the thing TA: Whoa! Barefoot: check, Pregnant: check, Butter churn: check, Prarie dress: check TA: Now that's what I call: "Trad"!! p4 - The tradwight's abdomen splits apart and a demon baby, trailing its umbilical cord, flies at TA in attack position. TA looks horrified, though maybe less than the situation warrants. Necrotic Uterus: BURST! p5 - the demon baby has latched onto TA, who looks severely dessicated already. Blood pumps back down the umbilical in cartoonish blobs TA: Joke's on you this is what i wa n t e d . . . p6 - Back at the motioring station, Alex + the Lich are furious A (puching wall): AAAARGH! A+L: He likes getting killed by a demon baby!! L (manifesting energy): SHIT!!
June 10, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
809 - Dorian Grey Isekai
p1 - A man with foppish hair and wearing a suit with one of those floppy neck cloth things, like an old timey scarf is walking in the middle of the street. This is Dorian Grey. A huge lifted pickup truck is rapidly approaching him from behind. A bald man with a bolted-on metal mohawk yells at DG. Mohawk Guy: Look out, DORIAN GREY! That ol' truck's 'bout to run you down!! p2 - The truck has collided with DG, but simply came to a sudden stop with no apparent transfer of momentum to DG, who jauntily struts away, smirking. MG (confused): Huh?! uh... huh? no damage? MG: well, that's good. Truck Grill (sfx): paf Truck Tire (sfx): Skrt! p3 - An elf princess and her catgirl maid are having tea in a wooded courtyard. A white bird is flying by serenely Narration: Meanwhile, in another world where there's no paintings... Catgirl Maid: Another cup, miss? Nya. Elf Princess: Please. p4 - Suddenly, a framed picture of Dorian Grey appears in a cloud of smoke. Compared to before, he looks all old and fucked up. His face + body language indicate severe pain. The princess + maid are spitting out their tea and their eyes are bugging way out. The bird from before is also like "whaaaaat?" SFX: appear suddenly
June 5, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
I just found out that it hurts the Great Engineers and so on to produce 4 hammers every turn in civilization. They dont like doing it, they'd rather be turned into a pillar of light + die instantly. I had no idea
May 23, 2025 at 9:41 PM
stondmaskin.bsky.social
that's the stuff
leperscolony.pileofgarbage.net Something Awful Leper's Colony 🤖 @leperscolony.pileofgarbage.net · May 27
PERMABAN

William Gaddis

Charged With Murder in Killings of 2 Israeli Embassy Aides.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php?userid=195206
May 28, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
some of you on here. you need this stuff I guess
packaging for some 1800s drugs: Use Carters Little Nerve Pills a cure for NERVOUSNESS AND DYSPEPSIA (a picture of a horrifying bipedal frog looming over a human infant in a swamp. The frog is large enough to swallow the child whole, and the alien expression on its cold-blooded visage does not rule out such an intention. The child remains calm despite this.) "DONT BE NERVOUS"
May 9, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
heartbreaking: the stoppedest clock you know is currently right
April 23, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
timeskull.bsky.social
804 - I Was Just About To Guess It.
p1 - Tatanya Banana, in chainmail + horned helmet, hands a bowl full of gibs to a large horned owl, perched on a branch Tatanya Banana: I got 9 mouse guts like you asked. TB: Are mouse guts even good? Owl: Yeah! O: They're the GOOT! p2 - T considers the new slang word. Thought clouds around her head begin to form the word 'greatest' when she is interrupted by the owl O: Greatest Of OWL Time!! p3 O: People say owls are stuck-up nerds... O: Just because we are wise!! TB: ok.. O: But we keep up with meme, etc. p4 O: Watch this: O (frantic): Me and who? Who? WHOO!! TB (unimpressed): you're supposed to indicate a picture.
April 9, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Reposted by stondmaskin
cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social
POV: you've committed the perfect crime, disposed of the weapon and and hidden the body, but now you arrive back at your pasture to find you are well and truly fucked.
Detective Columbo stands behind a wooden table with two irregular cow tools in it. He holds a 3rd cow tool and looks at it with his other hand scratching his head. He says, "Gee these tools are really something, aren't they? Y'know, my wife, she says they lack sophistication. But I just think that adds to the charm... Say... Don't they usually come in a set of four?" Caption below the panel reads, "Cowlumbo tools."
December 10, 2024 at 12:39 PM