Francolin Greens
@strongestkungfu.bsky.social
Everybody's got a job to do, everybody's got to move and groove. He/him.
Pinned
I had to quit the army after someone blew my nards off with a bazooka
The most important part of any DIY home repair project is admiring your own handiwork. Just stand there looking at it with your arms crossed and a slight smile every chance you get for at least a week.
December 30, 2025 at 8:07 PM
The most important part of any DIY home repair project is admiring your own handiwork. Just stand there looking at it with your arms crossed and a slight smile every chance you get for at least a week.
Reposted by Francolin Greens
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
![mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it]
mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it]
DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently]
mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage]
DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreicpeii4u2iirkgscaerpb5tltbs4ohykg2obbvchzo56pjzo4juie@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf]
DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch]
mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car]
DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue]
mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over]
DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreid5fec634tvopl2nybom2l7yrys7hrqbgrpq5gneukqiwt3zm44qu@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine]
DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11]
mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it]
DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint]
mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door]
DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape]
mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreihgywpjsvklyn2mdkfnvn2e4rknldwwa6brmtfkfkrpimkjj76tp4@jpeg)
![DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent]
mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string]
DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud]
mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter]
DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying]
mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose]
DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreifw77g6afsgy7rhshwknw4kcdgujwj4al6ymbwiawohrn6wc5hpme@jpeg)
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
I once saw Tokugawa Ieyasu leaving McDonald’s with a shitload of food.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 30, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I once saw Tokugawa Ieyasu leaving McDonald’s with a shitload of food.
I bailed on Community in season 4, so I missed the season 5/6 storyline about Gillian Jacobs becoming increasingly brunette
December 30, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I bailed on Community in season 4, so I missed the season 5/6 storyline about Gillian Jacobs becoming increasingly brunette
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Monty Python drag: oi a bloke in a dress ain’t that a laugh
Kids in the Hall drag: i am going to embody the most unhinged woman you have ever seen. she is real and her power is terrible. you may not look away
Kids in the Hall drag: i am going to embody the most unhinged woman you have ever seen. she is real and her power is terrible. you may not look away
February 22, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Monty Python drag: oi a bloke in a dress ain’t that a laugh
Kids in the Hall drag: i am going to embody the most unhinged woman you have ever seen. she is real and her power is terrible. you may not look away
Kids in the Hall drag: i am going to embody the most unhinged woman you have ever seen. she is real and her power is terrible. you may not look away
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Captain says I have to report at 0430 for slut training
December 27, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Captain says I have to report at 0430 for slut training
Me building the stardrive section: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me building the saucer section: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me building the saucer section: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
December 27, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Me building the stardrive section: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me building the saucer section: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me building the saucer section: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Ninpuu Sentai Hurricaneger (2002)
Episode 5
Episode 5
December 27, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Ninpuu Sentai Hurricaneger (2002)
Episode 5
Episode 5
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Merry Christmas, gamers. My dad got a slot-car track “for when the grandkids are over” but was talking about some kind of “permanent basement set up” within seconds.
December 25, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Merry Christmas, gamers. My dad got a slot-car track “for when the grandkids are over” but was talking about some kind of “permanent basement set up” within seconds.
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Reposted by Francolin Greens
It's Parasite Eve ...
December 24, 2025 at 5:52 PM
It's Parasite Eve ...
Equipping +1 gay apparel before plumbing the depths of the holiday dungeon
December 24, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Equipping +1 gay apparel before plumbing the depths of the holiday dungeon
Reposted by Francolin Greens
It’s none of my business if you watch hockey but I don’t want you teaching it to my kids
December 24, 2025 at 4:30 AM
It’s none of my business if you watch hockey but I don’t want you teaching it to my kids
I sincerely want Danzig to become an AI guy because it would continue his Cal Ripken-like streak of being The Funniest American Ever.
Everybody needs to make peace with the fact their GOAT is gonna dip their toe into AI shit. I've seen so many 'well they said they would but that was lying for investors' cope posts that later lead into a crash out when it became apparent they were not, in fact, lying to investors
December 23, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I sincerely want Danzig to become an AI guy because it would continue his Cal Ripken-like streak of being The Funniest American Ever.
Sure, a cabal of racist pedophile maniacs runs the free world, but a Battletech YouTube channel I dislike is imploding over AI and copyright issues. Take your victories where you can, gang!
December 23, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Sure, a cabal of racist pedophile maniacs runs the free world, but a Battletech YouTube channel I dislike is imploding over AI and copyright issues. Take your victories where you can, gang!
Lost is great TV because it asks big questions like “what if an island was weird?” or “what if a boring show ran for six seasons?”
December 22, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Lost is great TV because it asks big questions like “what if an island was weird?” or “what if a boring show ran for six seasons?”
Showing my kid DIE HARD tonight
December 20, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Showing my kid DIE HARD tonight
Name your favorite martial arts film.
WARNING: Unfair prompt 😅
This could change in the blink of an eye...
(Not “the best”, not the flashiest, but easily the one I’ve seen the most and the one most directly responsible for getting name into martial arts movies)
WARNING: Unfair prompt 😅
This could change in the blink of an eye...
(Not “the best”, not the flashiest, but easily the one I’ve seen the most and the one most directly responsible for getting name into martial arts movies)
December 18, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Name your favorite martial arts film.
WARNING: Unfair prompt 😅
This could change in the blink of an eye...
(Not “the best”, not the flashiest, but easily the one I’ve seen the most and the one most directly responsible for getting name into martial arts movies)
WARNING: Unfair prompt 😅
This could change in the blink of an eye...
(Not “the best”, not the flashiest, but easily the one I’ve seen the most and the one most directly responsible for getting name into martial arts movies)
I wish the head executive at my job was less of a Shingy and more of a Chingy.
December 18, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I wish the head executive at my job was less of a Shingy and more of a Chingy.
The first expansion pack I ever bought, back when we had to go to the *store* and buy a whole separate *disc* for “DLC”. Also the store was uphill both ways and I had to pay in denarii.
On November 30th, it was the 30 year anniversary for the official expansion pack to Mechwarrior 2: Ghost Bear's Legacy. It built upon the foundation that MW2 established and featured a more detailed narrative. Here's to the Ghost Bears reclaiming their genetic legacy!
December 18, 2025 at 2:08 PM
The first expansion pack I ever bought, back when we had to go to the *store* and buy a whole separate *disc* for “DLC”. Also the store was uphill both ways and I had to pay in denarii.
Showing up to extended family events Very High
whats your most cousin coded trait
December 17, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Showing up to extended family events Very High
Aiming for “neighborhood eccentric” and overshooting into “town crank”.
December 17, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Aiming for “neighborhood eccentric” and overshooting into “town crank”.
Reposted by Francolin Greens
Realizing a girl is flirting with me and making a CRT degaussing noise
May 15, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Realizing a girl is flirting with me and making a CRT degaussing noise