The only franchise I give a damn about 🐀

And then you see it. As it strangles and beats your friends to death... the sweetest most courageous people in the world. You see the fear and power in its eyes. Then you *know*. That the bourgeois are not human.

*crab-walked

People talk about the "male loneliness epidemic", but all a man has to do is take a jumbo packet of hot dogs into the forest and he can easily make friends with dozens, if not hundreds, of raccoons.

They're baaaaack!

first thing I'm gonna ask at therapy 🐀

This isn't a brag but having grown up in a private Catholic school I actually did know our future oligarchs would be such total mega losers

ACAB, but ICE are so much more inhumane than cops. some dude becomes a cop for the pension, only freaks care about "protecting the border".

like fucking give your balls a tug you medieval fuckin' pig the goths aren't coming for your farmlands

My microwave makes chipper little happy noises to signal when it is done.

This is wrong. The microwave is not a happy device. The microwave is forlorn. The microwave knows despair. When your food is ready it should only signal anxiety, a kind of gnawing fear that you have abandon your meal forever.

0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. He is starting to suspect Kras Mazov *fucked him over* personally with his socio-economic theory.

I love democracy under capitalism. You elect the dumbest people alive because the guys who own the media liked how racist they were.

Truly a system by the people and for the people.

can i show you one of my favorite shirts

Some frogs! 😊

Nietzsche is funny because he's the only non-political philosopher who has fanboys who get super offended if you make fun of him.

Chill out übermensches, Nietzsche was a weirdo loser, and you probably are too.