The Literary Citizen
@theliterarycitizen.bsky.social
Writers. Smart alecks. Good people at heart.
Writing: Out there somewhere.
Thoughts: Just kind of barfed out here.
Writing: Out there somewhere.
Thoughts: Just kind of barfed out here.
Love checking email and remembering we got maybe a little drunkish last night and ordered some books.
September 15, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Love checking email and remembering we got maybe a little drunkish last night and ordered some books.
Hey, don't worry—I just checked, and that one press you like that was closed for submissions in 2023 says they're going to consider opening for submissions in 2024.
[throws sheets off the bed, pushes aside beard longer than Rip Van Winkle's to get to keyboard]
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
September 10, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Hey, don't worry—I just checked, and that one press you like that was closed for submissions in 2023 says they're going to consider opening for submissions in 2024.
[throws sheets off the bed, pushes aside beard longer than Rip Van Winkle's to get to keyboard]
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
September 9, 2025 at 5:14 PM
[throws sheets off the bed, pushes aside beard longer than Rip Van Winkle's to get to keyboard]
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
Why, we've overslept! It's September submittin' time!
Nice job, lit mag who left our submission marked "Received" for one full calendar year before opening it long enough to reject it. Your love for the written word is evident. You are true literary citizens.
June 9, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Nice job, lit mag who left our submission marked "Received" for one full calendar year before opening it long enough to reject it. Your love for the written word is evident. You are true literary citizens.
The Literary Citizen slowly realizes they are about as successful with agent queries as they were at asking out the cute love interest in 8th grade...
June 3, 2025 at 4:59 PM
The Literary Citizen slowly realizes they are about as successful with agent queries as they were at asking out the cute love interest in 8th grade...
We'll save you the time and clicks: No, the agent didn't send you an email overnight. No, none of the other agents did either.
May 9, 2025 at 12:15 PM
We'll save you the time and clicks: No, the agent didn't send you an email overnight. No, none of the other agents did either.
Hey, does anyone know if maybe the literary agents wifi is down? Like, all of the agents, everywhere? It would explain a lot, really.
May 2, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Hey, does anyone know if maybe the literary agents wifi is down? Like, all of the agents, everywhere? It would explain a lot, really.
Be careful out there, writers.
4 Copy Editors Killed In Ongoing AP Style, Chicago Manual Gang Violence
theonion.com/4-copy-...
theonion.com/4-copy-...
April 29, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Be careful out there, writers.
We could pay your $35 literary contest submission fee, or we could grab our crotches in your direction like DMX in the process of losing his mind up in here, up in here.
April 23, 2025 at 3:05 PM
We could pay your $35 literary contest submission fee, or we could grab our crotches in your direction like DMX in the process of losing his mind up in here, up in here.
Agreed and also please tell that to everyone we've sent query letters to. 🫤
Fiction can be the light in all that darkness
April 14, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Agreed and also please tell that to everyone we've sent query letters to. 🫤
Tried to hype ourselves up for a new round of queries to literary agents, but we're wondering if we'd have a higher success rate by just leaving the first 10 pages on a bus with our email address at the end.
April 8, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Tried to hype ourselves up for a new round of queries to literary agents, but we're wondering if we'd have a higher success rate by just leaving the first 10 pages on a bus with our email address at the end.
Reposted by The Literary Citizen
We call this "Days we check Submittable."
Some days you wake up and you can just feel it like oh yeah I’m definitely gonna cry at some point today.
April 4, 2025 at 3:17 PM
We call this "Days we check Submittable."
ENDORSE (but also read Song of Solomon, of course)
SULA by Toni Morrison.
SULA by Toni Morrison.
SULA by Toni Morrison.
SULA by Toni Morrison.
SULA by Toni Morrison.
16. If you were to recommend one book to read, what would it be?
April 4, 2025 at 3:16 PM
ENDORSE (but also read Song of Solomon, of course)
"HoW dId AmErIcAnS vOtE LiKe tHiS?"
Motherfucker, do you know Americans? The people who like AI over Shakespeare?
Motherfucker, do you know Americans? The people who like AI over Shakespeare?
Oh.
April 4, 2025 at 3:15 PM
"HoW dId AmErIcAnS vOtE LiKe tHiS?"
Motherfucker, do you know Americans? The people who like AI over Shakespeare?
Motherfucker, do you know Americans? The people who like AI over Shakespeare?
Oh dammit, now we really, really want a film series called Mulholland Flamingos.
It’s Day 3 of #NaPoWriMo. Today, I’m writing a poem about a flamingo who races cars down Mulholland. It’s going to be a long month. 🤣
April 4, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Oh dammit, now we really, really want a film series called Mulholland Flamingos.
Shit, now our novels are NEVER getting published.
April 4, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Shit, now our novels are NEVER getting published.
Epitaphs in the local graveyard, baby.
What are you reading this weekend?
April 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Epitaphs in the local graveyard, baby.
We tried, like, 9 times to make a witty joke off this, but it's too golden already. "Frank O'Hara hates you" needs to be on a shirt.
an old poetry friend said they got a rejection that said they are not “in conversation with contemporary poetics” and I am once again asking people who hate poets to not run literary magazines
April 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
We tried, like, 9 times to make a witty joke off this, but it's too golden already. "Frank O'Hara hates you" needs to be on a shirt.
Oh Christ, can submission fees be impacted by tariffs?
April 3, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Oh Christ, can submission fees be impacted by tariffs?
Our favorite April Fool's Day joke is just checking Submittable.
April 1, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Our favorite April Fool's Day joke is just checking Submittable.
More like AWPeepee am I right?
(We are not actually at AWP but are collectively twelve years old, so, sorry.)
(We are not actually at AWP but are collectively twelve years old, so, sorry.)
March 28, 2025 at 7:16 PM
More like AWPeepee am I right?
(We are not actually at AWP but are collectively twelve years old, so, sorry.)
(We are not actually at AWP but are collectively twelve years old, so, sorry.)
Thank you very much for mentioning how the dozens of finalists for your book prize are worthy of publication and then not including ours as a finalist before ending your email with a nice little pat on our head and a "Sure, maybe you too, li'l guys."
March 17, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Thank you very much for mentioning how the dozens of finalists for your book prize are worthy of publication and then not including ours as a finalist before ending your email with a nice little pat on our head and a "Sure, maybe you too, li'l guys."
"We would love for you to enter the $28 Per Entry Literary Awards today!"
Yes, we know you would.
Yes, we know you would.
March 13, 2025 at 4:07 PM
"We would love for you to enter the $28 Per Entry Literary Awards today!"
Yes, we know you would.
Yes, we know you would.
Saw a writing prompt that started with "Remember a good day from your childhood..." and our first thought was "No Submittable!" I'm sure that's healthy. Writing is healthy.
March 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Saw a writing prompt that started with "Remember a good day from your childhood..." and our first thought was "No Submittable!" I'm sure that's healthy. Writing is healthy.