The Salmon Mousse
@thesalmonmousse.bsky.social
Only God and judges can judge me.
Pinned
My life in three panels.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Yet another glorious day outside.
January 8, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Yet another glorious day outside.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
My beautiful wife has a Substack about living with cancer (but talks about themes that touch all of us). I’d be chuffed if you gave it a try
open.substack.com/pub/thislife...
open.substack.com/pub/thislife...
This Life With Cancer | Substack
Letters from the edge: attempting to ‘live well’ with cancer, whatever that means! Click to read This Life With Cancer, a Substack publication. Launched 2 months ago.
open.substack.com
January 8, 2026 at 6:09 PM
My beautiful wife has a Substack about living with cancer (but talks about themes that touch all of us). I’d be chuffed if you gave it a try
open.substack.com/pub/thislife...
open.substack.com/pub/thislife...
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
We've analysed this video of the shooting of Renee Nicole Good yesterday in Minneapolis frame-by-frame to highlight the positioning of the gun and phone in the ICE agent's hands.
Video: @minnesotareformer.com with annotations by Bellingcat
Video: @minnesotareformer.com with annotations by Bellingcat
January 8, 2026 at 6:38 PM
We've analysed this video of the shooting of Renee Nicole Good yesterday in Minneapolis frame-by-frame to highlight the positioning of the gun and phone in the ICE agent's hands.
Video: @minnesotareformer.com with annotations by Bellingcat
Video: @minnesotareformer.com with annotations by Bellingcat
Am considering having gloom panels installed on my roof.
January 8, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Am considering having gloom panels installed on my roof.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
It's taken six and a half years, but I've just had a very friendly word in my ear about maybe, in future, not referring in a meeting to the people that populate our great country as "ignorant, dishonest cattle".
I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand...
I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand...
January 6, 2026 at 1:55 PM
It's taken six and a half years, but I've just had a very friendly word in my ear about maybe, in future, not referring in a meeting to the people that populate our great country as "ignorant, dishonest cattle".
I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand...
I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand...
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Well... we ended up with a band made up of 3 of us and 2 of another band. Just that. It was great. We did 23 songs, including 8 I'd never sung before. I even did a solo acoustic version of Thank You For The Music to three adoring circles of women. Now THAT is Rock n' Roll. And two gigs lined up.
Me and 2 other quarters of my band are involved in some multi-band Christmas party bash later. We'll all be jamming along to songs that only some of us know. I've never met any of the others. It's been like the sword of Damocles all Christmas. These things never ever work.
January 5, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Well... we ended up with a band made up of 3 of us and 2 of another band. Just that. It was great. We did 23 songs, including 8 I'd never sung before. I even did a solo acoustic version of Thank You For The Music to three adoring circles of women. Now THAT is Rock n' Roll. And two gigs lined up.
I once saw a documentary about a guy who couldn’t be bothered to go to bed. He just turned the light off and slept in his chair.
To be honest, I think he was on to something.
To be honest, I think he was on to something.
January 4, 2026 at 10:40 PM
I once saw a documentary about a guy who couldn’t be bothered to go to bed. He just turned the light off and slept in his chair.
To be honest, I think he was on to something.
To be honest, I think he was on to something.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Most embarrassing empire ever. Conquistadors of cringe. Veni, vidi, whatever the Latin is for “I stepped on a bunch of rakes in someone else’s yard having myself sold them the rakes back when we were allies.”
January 4, 2026 at 11:25 AM
Most embarrassing empire ever. Conquistadors of cringe. Veni, vidi, whatever the Latin is for “I stepped on a bunch of rakes in someone else’s yard having myself sold them the rakes back when we were allies.”
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
I’ve just had a sudden insight into the human condition: it’s bad
January 4, 2026 at 7:52 AM
I’ve just had a sudden insight into the human condition: it’s bad
I have picked the wrong time to start watching The Eternaut.
January 4, 2026 at 9:01 AM
I have picked the wrong time to start watching The Eternaut.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Canada has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now
January 3, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Canada has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
I feel very sad watching Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads. I'd love to have been married to Thelma Chambers, and gone for a couple of ales down the Fat Ox and the White Horse with Terry Collier. We saw Bob and Thelma starting out on the great adventure of married life, and now they're both gone.
January 2, 2026 at 8:34 PM
I feel very sad watching Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads. I'd love to have been married to Thelma Chambers, and gone for a couple of ales down the Fat Ox and the White Horse with Terry Collier. We saw Bob and Thelma starting out on the great adventure of married life, and now they're both gone.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Remember that Young Ones sketch with the two police officers talking inane shite to each other, followed by a headline about "Idiotic Coppers Shock?"
Listen to this.
youtu.be/E1Mn1EmsOrs?...
Listen to this.
youtu.be/E1Mn1EmsOrs?...
"Could've Gone Either Way!" Ray Parlour DISCUSSES Winston Churchill And The War!
YouTube video by talkSPORT
youtu.be
January 1, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Remember that Young Ones sketch with the two police officers talking inane shite to each other, followed by a headline about "Idiotic Coppers Shock?"
Listen to this.
youtu.be/E1Mn1EmsOrs?...
Listen to this.
youtu.be/E1Mn1EmsOrs?...
Soon people will start bitching about how long this month is. To these people I say this: January is the handbrake of the year. Release it at your peril.
January 1, 2026 at 11:22 AM
Soon people will start bitching about how long this month is. To these people I say this: January is the handbrake of the year. Release it at your peril.
Out there somewhere there’s a year with my name on it. Turns out it wasn’t 2025.
January 1, 2026 at 10:46 AM
Out there somewhere there’s a year with my name on it. Turns out it wasn’t 2025.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Anthony Hopkins is 88.
Here’s that time he was stuck in the 7 items or fewer queue because the cashiers were changing over & having a long chat.
Here’s that time he was stuck in the 7 items or fewer queue because the cashiers were changing over & having a long chat.
December 31, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Anthony Hopkins is 88.
Here’s that time he was stuck in the 7 items or fewer queue because the cashiers were changing over & having a long chat.
Here’s that time he was stuck in the 7 items or fewer queue because the cashiers were changing over & having a long chat.
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
One year since I posted this. One year since everybody treated it like a joke. One year of watching my back. Tell me: have you seen much of Harry Styles this past year? Tim Davie's gone a bit quiet too, hasn't he?
![A comic for the Guardian by Stephen Collins on New Years Eve 2024. Script as follows:
1
THE SCENE: is BBC Television centre or wherever that is these days. HARRY STYLES is getting out of a limo to enter a studio. An autograph-hunting FAN accosts him.
Also, a DATE STAMP appears ‘on screen’, like it used to do in the X-files, reading:
OCTOBER, 2024: Maidstone Studios, England
FAN 1:
That’s Harry Styles!
FAN 2 [Approaching Harry]:
Can I have a selfie, Harry?
2
FAN:
What are you doing at Maidstone Studios on this finbe day in mid October, Harry?
3
HARRY STYLES:
Why, I’ve come here in mid-October to record ‘Jools Holland’s New Year Hoote-‘
4
*FSHW*
[Harry Styles is suddenly vaporised by a LASER BEAM]
5
[We see the culprit; a hi tech flying DRONE has zapped Mr Styles to death. The drone has a camera eye on the front of it]
6
[Cut to: JOOLS HOLLAND in his Hootenanny lair, watching a screen which has just alerted him to the elimination of Styles]
[Legend on screen]:
ARTIST ELIMINATED
HOLLAND:
Goddamn it
7
HOLLAND:
Why can’t they keep their mouths SHUT?
8
HOLLAND:
Tim Davie!
TIM DAVIE [Director General of the BBC]:
Y-yes Jools?
HOLLAND:
Who’ve we got left for this year?
10
TIM DAVIE:
The Boomtown Rats, one of Sister Sledge and Marc Almond
HOLLAND:
Almond *again*?
11
TIM DAVIE:
We’re running out of artists to call, sir…
M-must we keep killing… so many…?
HOLLAND:
You know the rules, Davie. The secret of the Hootenanny must be protected at all costs. All who divulge it…
12
HOLLAND [close up on his evil face, eye twitching]:
Must be eliminated](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiafp3a2py3i5qz3lw3bwk3zrjnjnwxmm72tonf47xx67ilulotrtu@jpeg)
December 31, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One year since I posted this. One year since everybody treated it like a joke. One year of watching my back. Tell me: have you seen much of Harry Styles this past year? Tim Davie's gone a bit quiet too, hasn't he?
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Files on Andrew’s activities as trade envoy withheld by the government. Once again even disgraced royals are protected by the state. What’s there to hide? It’s more important than ever that transparency reigns with the Royal Family. And it never does.
www.thetimes.com/article/c695...
www.thetimes.com/article/c695...
Redacting Andrew papers ‘like removing Trump from Epstein files’
A biographer of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor said officials were panicking and worrying about what releasing the papers to the National Archives would reveal
www.thetimes.com
December 31, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Files on Andrew’s activities as trade envoy withheld by the government. Once again even disgraced royals are protected by the state. What’s there to hide? It’s more important than ever that transparency reigns with the Royal Family. And it never does.
www.thetimes.com/article/c695...
www.thetimes.com/article/c695...
Because I’m evilllll… Enjoy Rik Mayall out-performing a Beatle and Jools Holland at a charity gig in Nether Wallop!
December 30, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
Pluribus is by far the best TV of the year isn’t it, barely any competition
December 30, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Pluribus is by far the best TV of the year isn’t it, barely any competition
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
CARRY ON UP THE DUNES
December 29, 2025 at 6:33 PM
CARRY ON UP THE DUNES
Reposted by The Salmon Mousse
The last few days did not move the main story forward AT ALL. It's just a guy eating little treats and doing nothing. And so many plot holes. He says, "no more little treats," and then he's eating another little treat in literally the next scene.
December 29, 2025 at 10:24 AM
The last few days did not move the main story forward AT ALL. It's just a guy eating little treats and doing nothing. And so many plot holes. He says, "no more little treats," and then he's eating another little treat in literally the next scene.
I looked up some Bauhaus lyrics today, and frankly they make no more sense than whatever I’ve been singing all these years.
December 29, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I looked up some Bauhaus lyrics today, and frankly they make no more sense than whatever I’ve been singing all these years.