for those asking why people are suddenly leaving twitter and moving over here, here's the tl;dr

will smith slapped chris rock at the oscars

What Do You Do When I Pull Up

FBI agent: what did you mean when you posted "i'm going to do direct physical violence to local politicians"?

me: i think i was just really hungry that day

FBI agent: i see and how about when you said "i'm in Area 51 shooting ropes i'm turning these Greys white"?

me: can you loosen these cuffs?

perfectttttttttttttttttttttttttt

gregg turkington / cream puff cookie, sketchbook, 2021

stevensville, room 383 $50, $270 week, swan lake, new york, 1977

waiting for santa

what is there to even post anymore. let me pass away already

Red and Green Popcorn balls at Christmas are a big MISTAKE. Any true blue movie buff would rather eat real Movie Popcorn from the cinema floor, than one of those.

flamethrower pranks to play on your dad

No surprises here … #SpudgeWrapped

i was in fact poisoned

let this get all warm and flat then put gin in it and you'll have a drink called "The Devil's Torment"

i'm late to it but, Disaster Trick...very good album

you KNOW this picture killed in 1875. people were busting the fuck up at a dog with a pipe. dogs don’t smoke

just added you to my #bluesky lists, "morons" and "smells bad"

The Jane Altoids Stan Army is dying like and retweet this if you're still a ride or die Altoid