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turtlesby.bsky.social
mark
@turtlesby.bsky.social
birds, butts, politics and sometimes sports; 18+
he/him 🏳️‍🌈
Which way do I loop my scarf again to let people know I’m into butt stuff?
November 21, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Gonna start referring to my ibuprofen as “the 800” for some added drama
November 21, 2025 at 1:33 PM
You can’t tell me the tufted titmouse doesn’t sleep indoors on a canopy bed.
November 15, 2025 at 11:47 AM
November 15, 2025 at 1:30 AM
There’s a decidedly one-way, “thanks, but are you a cop?” vibe to my bond with these birds. They’re never quite happy to see me, but they know I mean breakfast.
November 13, 2025 at 12:20 PM
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Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
November 9, 2025 at 12:17 PM
house: ask again later
senate: you’re just hungry
prez: go ahead and eat today!
supremes: upon reflection, you can starve
November 8, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Dawn Powerwash: worth the slight soap inhalation!
November 6, 2025 at 12:55 PM
I love it when my very straight barber says “I left a little curl for you.”
November 5, 2025 at 9:06 PM
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We're all going to write pieces about what you can learn from tonight but it's actually pretty simple: The frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.
November 5, 2025 at 4:34 AM
I miss my bike. I am so out of shape that it’s made a bottom of me. But years of cycling left me with a champion ass so this may be a stiff uphill climb back to the top.
November 5, 2025 at 12:35 PM
The number of times I heard someone say “he’s just such a muffin” as the results came in last night.
November 5, 2025 at 12:28 PM
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******If you’re in line to tell Chuck Schumer to eat shit, stay in line!!******
November 4, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Sorry to name drop before coffee, but this morning I’ve gotten lit while several cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, nuthatches, titmice, sparrows, woodpeckers, wrens and juncos — the juncos are back! — have all come by to visit my feeder & peanut buffet piles. Sadly this milkshake contains allergens.
November 4, 2025 at 12:11 PM
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PSA to subs, there’s a lot of baseball watching dudes out there who need a large coffee and slow head this morning. let’s leave it all out on the field today
October 28, 2025 at 11:33 AM
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Still feels like Trump literally demolishing the White House is lazy writing and way too on the nose, even for a metaphor.
October 23, 2025 at 12:42 PM
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Updating my LEGO White House
October 23, 2025 at 2:51 AM
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I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”
October 10, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I want you to not be able to unsee that.
October 7, 2025 at 10:06 AM
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good morning
October 7, 2025 at 8:29 AM
It’s awkward that Tom Brady is terrible at his new job.
October 5, 2025 at 10:01 PM
For a few fleeting seconds this morning I thought my Brit friends all had a new nickname for their PM.
October 4, 2025 at 11:11 AM
“The devil’s aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot’s dread of a newspaper that laughs.”

Courtesy of a pal, from “The American Press,” first printed in Mark Twain: Press Critic, University of California Press, 2003
September 23, 2025 at 11:04 AM
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Republicans are very angry that they are being judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin.
September 18, 2025 at 4:42 PM