Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
A bindle full of blues
Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2
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Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2
Some people liked these:
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Pinned
A large part of my life has been spent looking for a surface to put things on
I like to pick up ladies in the Costco health care aisle because, hey, I’m not gonna finish this tub of rash ointment by myself
February 16, 2026 at 4:30 AM
I like to pick up ladies in the Costco health care aisle because, hey, I’m not gonna finish this tub of rash ointment by myself
I always opt for Supreme at the drive-thru car wash to give her time to complete the handjob
February 16, 2026 at 4:27 AM
I always opt for Supreme at the drive-thru car wash to give her time to complete the handjob
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Whenever my son tells me we need to hang out more, I know he's guilting me into helping him bury another body.
February 3, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Whenever my son tells me we need to hang out more, I know he's guilting me into helping him bury another body.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
My DNA results are in. I'm 60% European and a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
February 10, 2026 at 5:04 AM
My DNA results are in. I'm 60% European and a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
As far as the “it’s okay to be white” crowd? Not the way you’re doing it, pal.
February 8, 2026 at 9:20 PM
As far as the “it’s okay to be white” crowd? Not the way you’re doing it, pal.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I used to think I could change the world and now I’m proud of myself for changing my sheets
January 29, 2025 at 12:37 PM
I used to think I could change the world and now I’m proud of myself for changing my sheets
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Grateful for parks, libraries, and places where anyone can go
November 15, 2024 at 9:14 PM
Grateful for parks, libraries, and places where anyone can go
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
If I die of a papercut infection, I just want all to know I fought courageously against paper
February 12, 2026 at 7:03 PM
If I die of a papercut infection, I just want all to know I fought courageously against paper
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
February 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM
look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Everybody knows that edibles are for super sonic hearing
February 14, 2026 at 6:02 AM
Everybody knows that edibles are for super sonic hearing
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Knees are the nipples of the legs
February 3, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Knees are the nipples of the legs
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
One thing curling has taught me is it doesn't matter what country you're from, the louder you shout the more Scottish you sound
February 10, 2026 at 8:45 PM
One thing curling has taught me is it doesn't matter what country you're from, the louder you shout the more Scottish you sound
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
not wearing a bra to the hospital feels a little illegal everyone please avert your eyes these are my bedroom boobs
February 3, 2026 at 1:36 PM
not wearing a bra to the hospital feels a little illegal everyone please avert your eyes these are my bedroom boobs
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
no humping for me today thanks but i wouldn’t say no to some trashy necking
February 11, 2026 at 4:44 PM
no humping for me today thanks but i wouldn’t say no to some trashy necking
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
the good news is if you walk barefoot enough your feet turn into shoes
February 4, 2026 at 11:00 PM
the good news is if you walk barefoot enough your feet turn into shoes
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
[deathbed confession]
“babe I love you but every Friday on my drive home I’ve consumed a medium
sausage pizza”
“babe I love you but every Friday on my drive home I’ve consumed a medium
sausage pizza”
February 12, 2026 at 6:22 PM
[deathbed confession]
“babe I love you but every Friday on my drive home I’ve consumed a medium
sausage pizza”
“babe I love you but every Friday on my drive home I’ve consumed a medium
sausage pizza”
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I'm sorry but "turn of the century" will continue to mean Jan 1, 1900. This is non negotiable.
This old guy has spoken.
This old guy has spoken.
February 14, 2026 at 6:24 PM
I'm sorry but "turn of the century" will continue to mean Jan 1, 1900. This is non negotiable.
This old guy has spoken.
This old guy has spoken.
I’ve really improved my hydrating, can we start sexting again?
February 12, 2026 at 3:50 AM
I’ve really improved my hydrating, can we start sexting again?
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
Yes, the crows ARE laughing at you
February 9, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Yes, the crows ARE laughing at you
After three months of throwing pumpkin seeds and putting out shiny bits, I give up; I’m too dumb for the crows to befriend
February 9, 2026 at 5:57 PM
After three months of throwing pumpkin seeds and putting out shiny bits, I give up; I’m too dumb for the crows to befriend
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds
February 2, 2026 at 4:59 PM
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Trying to determine if my system will tolerate a 3rd nap today
January 31, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Trying to determine if my system will tolerate a 3rd nap today
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
The hardest part about making Tot Casserole is not eating all the tots during preparation. We build to this, you see
February 1, 2026 at 11:50 PM
The hardest part about making Tot Casserole is not eating all the tots during preparation. We build to this, you see