Splendid Hobo
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splendidhobo.bsky.social
Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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my sister mentioned she might serve cauliflower mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving so I'm suing
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If I were on Little House on the Prairie, I would simply invent the internet
November 19, 2025 at 8:01 PM
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(Loud enough for my date to hear while smelling limited edition Batman Old Spice deodorant) WHAT SCENT IS THIS, ORPHAN?
November 20, 2025 at 1:40 PM
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Any man should be able to pick his own dick out of a lineup
November 21, 2025 at 4:47 PM
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Trump: Inshallah…pretty sure I’m saying that right. We love inshallah. We’re bringing the inshallah back and then salam. Reminds me of salami but we can’t do the pork, can we Mamadan? I call him Mamadan, he loves it.
November 22, 2025 at 3:33 AM
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It’s too much trouble to explain myself. Just assume the worst
November 23, 2025 at 10:30 PM
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The football should give the players a little shock to defend itself
November 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
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When I realized that I’m like the god of my gut microbiome, I started eating in mysterious ways
November 25, 2025 at 3:06 AM
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White people love a good pie chart
November 25, 2025 at 4:02 AM
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Charlie Brown’s eyes are both on the front of his head, implying that he is a predator
November 25, 2025 at 5:22 AM
I imagine everyone I follow here being incrementally taller, wow, you’re a tall glass of water Milf_Likes_Dick
November 25, 2025 at 5:15 AM
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what a horrible, horrible night to not have Bagel Bites in my freezer. just horrible.
November 25, 2025 at 3:33 AM
still hoping to find that perfect blend of blandly ambiguous and wildly aspirational in the same skeet
November 25, 2025 at 5:05 AM
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Waited all year for panettone season
November 25, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I’m great at flirting but only with the Costco lady handing out probiotic samples and only for two lines
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
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If a woman looks sad, tell her, "You'd be pretty if you smiled more" and you won't see her looking sad anymore because you will be dead.
November 17, 2025 at 11:21 PM
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apparently my cat prefers the water at the bottom of the bowl so she just tips it over and drinks off the floor
November 21, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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Too many X accounts are bots. Delighted to be on Bluesky where you're all just figments of my imagination
November 24, 2025 at 7:22 AM
You’re just clipping away the detritus of your better days when you cut your toenails
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
There’s more clothes to hang in winter so I’m getting out the second Peloton
November 23, 2025 at 4:36 AM
I can turn a sure thing into humiliating failure lickety-split
November 23, 2025 at 3:53 AM
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ME: so what do you think of this cluster of big lakes

TONY THE TIGER: *deep breath*
November 20, 2025 at 4:22 PM
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Honestly, most of my problems could be solved by a well-timed saxophone solo.
November 19, 2025 at 4:13 AM
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some toads are colorful like a rainbow lollipop just begging to be licked
November 18, 2025 at 9:53 PM
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please come over and watch me freak out while I eat spaghetti in a white tuxedo
November 16, 2025 at 4:14 AM
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We’re gonna need a bigger wheel of cheese
November 19, 2025 at 9:37 PM