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Splendid Hobo

@splendidhobo.bsky.social

8.6K followers 1.1K following 2.4K posts

A bindle full of blues Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2 Some people liked these: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaakoiexih2cc

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · Dec 29

her: do you like period sex?
me: yes, Victorian, put this on

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 19d

The masses have been opiated

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 19d

Yes, everything’s terrible, but still be kind

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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 25d

haven’t felt this disconnected to society since I was 3 1/2

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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 22d

my basement tapes are just the sounds I make eating burritos

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 22d

Bewitched is on Hulu see you guys next year

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 21d

You’re more likely to be killed by a goat than to die in a plane crash. Those odds increase for lonely men in West Virginia.

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Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 25d

Weaponized timezones

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 22d

I prefer to teach using the sarcastic method.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 22d

Let me be your emotional support roller coaster.

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 24d

"Show me you love me"
I whispered breathlessly

and when he straight up baked me into a pan of scalloped potatoes I knew he was the one.

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Peetomb🐺🍷 @geraldelephants.bsky.social · 22d

everything is alive and bouncing like in steamboat willy

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · Nov 27

I hate when people get a little bit popular and it changes their entire personality. My personality changes are solely the result of mental illness.

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𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 🕯️ @warmyellowlight.bsky.social · 22d

priceless, not to be confused with $0

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 21d

I prefer to buttdial using a rotary phone.

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Kelly🆘🇺🇸 @kimtopher22.bsky.social · Aug 21

I can see by the way you parked your giant truck you've never pleasured a partner in your life.

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Kelly🆘🇺🇸 @kimtopher22.bsky.social · 23d

I'm not leaving my house without Hulk Hands ever again.

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 21d

That’s worth three credit hours towards an architectural degree

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 26d

When my son asks about us paying his college tuition, I'll take him outside and show him our new roof.

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 25d

If you ever feel isolated while driving in the dead of night, just turn on your high beams. Another car will be there in a fricking jiffy.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 25d

“Hand me the dildo,” I say to my assistant, as I enter the coliseum.

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · Apr 18

I don’t flirt, I just say stupid shit until someone gets a boner about it

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 22d

Still a badass, I think, as I wear my Walmart clothes to Costco

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 23d

I’m now a little depressed I don’t have a friend that knows words like incredulity

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 23d

My friend's incredulity that I'm not on antidepressants was both insulting and kind of flattering ??

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 23d

Step one in my step exercise plan is the whole first session, I think that’s taking it too slow

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