Yeos, I’m Jeff
yesgeoff.bsky.social
Yeos, I’m Jeff
@yesgeoff.bsky.social
Sparingly funny
Reposted by Yeos, I’m Jeff
I'll take "Things aspiring dictators say for $100."

Imagine if Biden had said this about, say, Dallas or had sent an armed squad with a truck-mounted machine gun into Oklahoma City.
REPORTER: How do you want Republican voters in NYC to vote in the upcoming mayoral election?

TRUMP: We have tremendous power at the White House to run places when we have to. We could run DC ... we're thinking about doing it, to be honest with you.
July 9, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Pope Francis didn’t say thank you 🤷‍♂️
April 24, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Lmk when we’re done normalizing the knotsy and his chainsaw
February 21, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Like the alt broadcast like Peyton & Eli, would love MXC commentators broadcasting nightly news
February 12, 2025 at 6:59 PM
This dildo is ripping executive orders like they’re tweets
February 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
What’s the 2025 equivalent of Jon Hamm in sweatpants?
January 31, 2025 at 1:03 AM
That VR toaster oven can take me to Mars and I still can’t suspend the reality that Meta is the product of a sophomore with blue balls
January 29, 2025 at 12:10 AM
The lady with 100+ fetuses in her fridge got a pardon?
January 24, 2025 at 10:15 PM
America’s not great again until a TMac 3 re-release
January 24, 2025 at 10:12 PM
So posh, so Mad Magazine
January 21, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Reposted by Yeos, I’m Jeff
Vaseline-Covered Trump Reverses TikTok Stance After Getting Into Skincare
Vaseline-Covered Trump Reverses TikTok Stance After Getting Into Skincare
PALM BEACH, FL—Telling reporters about his revamped beauty routine as he lavished praise upon the social media platform he once tried to ban as president, a Vaseline-covered Donald Trump publicly reve...
theonion.com
January 19, 2025 at 11:43 PM
I last longer than the TikTok ban did
January 19, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I wish Big Black could see how much I love Dude Wipes 🕊️
January 19, 2025 at 1:44 AM
What a locker room stool sees at the YMCA — I would not wish on my worst enemy
January 17, 2025 at 2:08 PM
They’re a stone cold 6 but own a squatty potty
January 16, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Next to the shopping carts and scooters, stores should provide orange cones for customers

I will continue to crop dust entire aisles in 2025, and I’d like myself and others to feel safe doing so
January 15, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Reposted by Yeos, I’m Jeff
to be fair they did used to have an episode of crash course.
January 15, 2025 at 4:29 PM
**whispers “ily” to bidet**
January 15, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Florida bans P*rnhub but Jessica Rabbit still out here strutting around w her no-nose having ass. God save the children
January 15, 2025 at 3:41 PM
I’d be locked up for the way I talk to my skillet after I break a yolk
January 15, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Reposted by Yeos, I’m Jeff
Proposing by having a waiter hide the engagement ring in the dessert is for cowards. Put the ring on the conveyor belt in a sushi restaurant and let the Gods determine your bride.
January 14, 2025 at 4:00 PM
At least if it were $2500 for an Uber to a hospital, they’d gimme a Gatorade and let me play Neva Scared by Bone Crusher otw
January 15, 2025 at 12:14 PM
The snappiness of a breakfast sausage is non-negotiably disgusting. But I’d be a real Martha focker if I said I didn’t love when a sunny side egg buss all over some toast
January 14, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Reposted by Yeos, I’m Jeff
i opened threads and this was the first thing it showed me lmao @brandontsnider.bsky.social
January 14, 2025 at 3:07 AM
The breadth of my social media h0€tation looks to be taking after Magic Johnson

There’s too many, and now I’m sick
a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a window holding his hands to his head .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a window holding his hands to his head .
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM