#Tortoises
Shell of a win for desert tortoises in California’s western Mojave Desert 🎉

A federal judge has prohibited off-road vehicle use in the tortoises' critical habitat, protecting more than 2,200 miles of proposed routes across 1 million acres of conservation lands.

Read on ➡️ bit.ly/4q1dn1S
January 27, 2026 at 11:15 PM
BLADE RUNNER: You're walking in the desert and you see a tortoise on its back

ME: Oh I have a fun fact about tortoises

BR: Uh, okay?

ME: So when turtles are born, they emerge and they rush for the sea, like, and birds eat them, and some go toward the land and become tortoises

BR: That's not true
BLADE RUNNER: You're walking in the desert and you see a tortoise on its back

ME: A tortoise? What's that?

BLADE RUNNER: You know what a turtle is?

ME: No

BLADE RUNNER: Oh. Usually, that clarifies it. Uh… hear of an armadillo?

ME: Huh?

BLADE RUNNER: Iguana?

ME: Can we talk about my mother now
January 28, 2026 at 12:44 PM
And yes, tortoises are considered turtles.
January 26, 2026 at 2:03 AM
Many adamantoise tortoises are born in the ivory sands of La Noscea's Salt Strand. If lucky, the babies may live to see as many as 200 summers. However, that's only if they don't accidentally launch themselves off a cliff with their constant spinning.
January 28, 2026 at 5:24 PM
Endlessly funny to me that tortoises in this world can spin and fly around Like That and nobody questions it.
Many adamantoise tortoises are born in the ivory sands of La Noscea's Salt Strand. If lucky, the babies may live to see as many as 200 summers. However, that's only if they don't accidentally launch themselves off a cliff with their constant spinning.
January 28, 2026 at 6:51 PM
The animals depicted on these choir stalls include hares, tortoises, squirrels, rabbits, owls, mice, kingfishers and dolphins.

9/10
January 27, 2026 at 8:02 AM
January. It's even longer than November, which goes on for half the shitfluming year. But THIS January is the longest January in living memory, and I know, for I am like one of those fucked old tortoises, please don't send me that Brian Bilston poem.
January 27, 2026 at 9:23 AM
That's how I know the blade runner is the duplicant. He doesn't know shit about tortoises.
January 28, 2026 at 12:50 PM
“Protecting these tortoises from extensive off-road vehicle use in their most important habitat will give them a chance to make a comeback. This is how the ESA is supposed to work, protecting plants and animals from extinction by protecting the places they live,” said the Center's Lisa Belenky.
January 27, 2026 at 11:15 PM
We should all be baby Hermann’s tortoises
Watch until the end...
January 26, 2026 at 12:20 PM
The first living creatures to orbit the Moon were not humans.

They were tortoises.

#astronomy #history
January 27, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Manifest #3940 from FalconSAT-8 (USAP)

1. Lifeless Tortoises
2. Burrow of Cannibals
3. Ruby Nothingness Server Farm
January 28, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Humbly, I have helped a lot of sea turtles in trouble and get them past the breakers.

Also assisted gopher tortoises in need.
Show up and care. 🐢❤️✌️
January 27, 2026 at 5:21 PM
Fun fact: we call all these animals Turtles but that is not the family or species name! It is indeed Testudines! There are three types: Turtles, Terrapins, and Tortoises! 🐢💙
January 25, 2026 at 11:21 PM
The tortoises survived, becoming the first Earth creatures to complete a loop around the Moon.

They lost just 10% of their body weight.
January 27, 2026 at 3:19 PM
oh no those old-ass Galapagos tortoises lost their birth certificates. This is not good
January 27, 2026 at 11:43 PM
There’s a medical condition you can get from over working your upper torso where your neck is like permanently stuck to 1 side and it is named after some Latin word for tortoises and I had it at like age 14 and it’s a nightmare lol. It’s like imagine a muscle cramp that replaces your muscle
January 27, 2026 at 6:07 AM
Thinking about the house I drive past and they have two tortoises that they sometimes let roam in the yard
Big ol tortoises
January 25, 2026 at 2:35 AM
January 24, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Did you know tortoises like chin scratches? I learned that this weekend.
January 20, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Walking in like -30 degree weather on icy streets & sidewalks to get food for my tortoises: The things I do for love.
January 23, 2026 at 1:20 AM
Have I discovered the world’s best book in a charity shop? Tough to say for sure, but I reckon it’s a contender.
January 23, 2026 at 5:01 PM
McConnell spent decades stopping Dem plans in their tracks when they held power, yet somehow Dems are tortoises on their backs now that the positions are flipped.

People need to accept that Dems' milquetoast resistance is because most of them want things this way too.
January 20, 2026 at 3:29 PM
#cats
A very sad day as we take Chita this afternoon to cross the rainbow bridge. 14 years flew by. Cats & dogs should live as long as tortoises. Thanks for being my audience & sharing her exploits these past years. She's taking a piece of my heart 💔with her but will always live in it. Viva Chita!❤️
January 20, 2026 at 7:21 PM
🐢Yellow-footed tortoise (Chelonoides denticulatus) in Malmö Reptilcenter.

Max carapace length 94 cm (37"), but they are usually noticeably smaller.

Found in Bolivia, Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador, Guadeloupe, the Guianas, Peru, Trinidad, Venezuela.

Considered Vulnerable by the IUCN.

📷by plesnercph
January 18, 2026 at 10:26 PM