Jess
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baconjess.bsky.social
Jess
@baconjess.bsky.social
Minneapolis

Can I pet your dog?
Pinned
I feel like I'm gonna get so much use out of this.
How am I still awake at this time of night?
February 15, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Vibes in LynLake are so good tonight.
February 15, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Just learned the VFW is gonna run out of red wine and won't have any more until Thursday and what am I gonna do?
February 15, 2026 at 4:12 AM
Reposted by Jess
That first one might be the craziest dunk I've ever seen
The 4 dunks Mac McClung would’ve done in the dunk contest tonight 😳

(via ThunderChats)
#NBA
February 15, 2026 at 4:02 AM
Your aunts and uncles are out and about.
February 15, 2026 at 3:53 AM
We got the volume up and I am mobilizing monopolizing TouchTunes as the good Lord intended.
February 15, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Home from the baby shower with plenty of time to catch my favorite Valentine's episodes of Bob's Burgers.
February 14, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Reposted by Jess
“It was just Christmas… i just…”

Let me tell you something daddy

Lock in
February 14, 2026 at 4:37 PM
Reposted by Jess
Hey guys, check your use of the word “female” before you hit send
February 14, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Reposted by Jess
If you still need a Valentine’s Day Card to tell that special someone just how you feel, got you covered!

4th Annual @nopantscrunch.bsky.social Timberwolves V-day cards just dropped.

A thread:
February 14, 2026 at 5:10 PM
Reposted by Jess
February 14, 2026 at 1:18 PM
Reposted by Jess
Roses are red
I’m bad at seduction
Workers should have
The means of production
February 14, 2026 at 3:30 PM
With everything going on and all of us struggling, I feel like I don't have to explain my February/Vday/birthday weirdness, which is nice. And I can barely explain it, anyway.
February 14, 2026 at 4:37 PM
Done and done!
Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable
February 14, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Reposted by Jess
Oh my GOD King County Public Health is just wilding out for Valentines Day (and a lovely one).
February 13, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Mics are picking up a lot of heavy breathing in this moguls race.
February 14, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Reposted by Jess
34 years ago today, Marge Simpson shared a romantic postcard she once received from her husband Homer.

#TheSimpsons episode “Bart the Lover” first aired on February 13, 1992.
February 14, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Can't believe I have to go to a baby shower today. I'd rather go to church.
February 14, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Reposted by Jess
abolish ice

now available with 100% of proceeds going to "stand with minnesota" organizations 💜

shopbanner18.com/products/abo...
February 13, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Reposted by Jess
Three words: CEO dunk tank

Hold up, one more word: sharks
oh FFS, maybe get them to throw some of that money into rent funds instead of a zip line
February 13, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Richard Jefferson, you don't need your shirt unbuttoned that far.
February 14, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Reposted by Jess
Wild that a sitting member of Congress, a Republican no less, feels compelled to post this.
February 13, 2026 at 9:59 PM
🎶 Making new friends at the @uptownvfw.bsky.social 🎶
February 14, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Reposted by Jess
get the kid in the brown hoodie a scholarship
February 13, 2026 at 10:28 PM