Jess
@baconjess.bsky.social
Minneapolis
Can I pet your dog?
Can I pet your dog?
Pinned
How am I still awake at this time of night?
February 15, 2026 at 7:24 AM
How am I still awake at this time of night?
Vibes in LynLake are so good tonight.
February 15, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Vibes in LynLake are so good tonight.
Just learned the VFW is gonna run out of red wine and won't have any more until Thursday and what am I gonna do?
February 15, 2026 at 4:12 AM
Just learned the VFW is gonna run out of red wine and won't have any more until Thursday and what am I gonna do?
Reposted by Jess
That first one might be the craziest dunk I've ever seen
February 15, 2026 at 4:02 AM
That first one might be the craziest dunk I've ever seen
Your aunts and uncles are out and about.
February 15, 2026 at 3:53 AM
Your aunts and uncles are out and about.
We got the volume up and I am mobilizing monopolizing TouchTunes as the good Lord intended.
February 15, 2026 at 1:22 AM
We got the volume up and I am mobilizing monopolizing TouchTunes as the good Lord intended.
Home from the baby shower with plenty of time to catch my favorite Valentine's episodes of Bob's Burgers.
February 14, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Home from the baby shower with plenty of time to catch my favorite Valentine's episodes of Bob's Burgers.
Reposted by Jess
“It was just Christmas… i just…”
Let me tell you something daddy
Lock in
Let me tell you something daddy
Lock in
February 14, 2026 at 4:37 PM
“It was just Christmas… i just…”
Let me tell you something daddy
Lock in
Let me tell you something daddy
Lock in
Reposted by Jess
Hey guys, check your use of the word “female” before you hit send
February 14, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Hey guys, check your use of the word “female” before you hit send
Reposted by Jess
If you still need a Valentine’s Day Card to tell that special someone just how you feel, got you covered!
4th Annual @nopantscrunch.bsky.social Timberwolves V-day cards just dropped.
A thread:
4th Annual @nopantscrunch.bsky.social Timberwolves V-day cards just dropped.
A thread:
February 14, 2026 at 5:10 PM
If you still need a Valentine’s Day Card to tell that special someone just how you feel, got you covered!
4th Annual @nopantscrunch.bsky.social Timberwolves V-day cards just dropped.
A thread:
4th Annual @nopantscrunch.bsky.social Timberwolves V-day cards just dropped.
A thread:
Reposted by Jess
February 14, 2026 at 1:18 PM
Reposted by Jess
Roses are red
I’m bad at seduction
Workers should have
The means of production
I’m bad at seduction
Workers should have
The means of production
February 14, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Roses are red
I’m bad at seduction
Workers should have
The means of production
I’m bad at seduction
Workers should have
The means of production
With everything going on and all of us struggling, I feel like I don't have to explain my February/Vday/birthday weirdness, which is nice. And I can barely explain it, anyway.
February 14, 2026 at 4:37 PM
With everything going on and all of us struggling, I feel like I don't have to explain my February/Vday/birthday weirdness, which is nice. And I can barely explain it, anyway.
Done and done!
Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable
February 14, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Done and done!
Reposted by Jess
Oh my GOD King County Public Health is just wilding out for Valentines Day (and a lovely one).
February 13, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Oh my GOD King County Public Health is just wilding out for Valentines Day (and a lovely one).
Mics are picking up a lot of heavy breathing in this moguls race.
February 14, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Mics are picking up a lot of heavy breathing in this moguls race.
Reposted by Jess
34 years ago today, Marge Simpson shared a romantic postcard she once received from her husband Homer.
#TheSimpsons episode “Bart the Lover” first aired on February 13, 1992.
#TheSimpsons episode “Bart the Lover” first aired on February 13, 1992.
February 14, 2026 at 4:01 AM
34 years ago today, Marge Simpson shared a romantic postcard she once received from her husband Homer.
#TheSimpsons episode “Bart the Lover” first aired on February 13, 1992.
#TheSimpsons episode “Bart the Lover” first aired on February 13, 1992.
Can't believe I have to go to a baby shower today. I'd rather go to church.
February 14, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Can't believe I have to go to a baby shower today. I'd rather go to church.
Reposted by Jess
Now we just need a Tin Man and a Scarecrow
February 14, 2026 at 1:11 PM
Now we just need a Tin Man and a Scarecrow
Reposted by Jess
abolish ice
now available with 100% of proceeds going to "stand with minnesota" organizations 💜
shopbanner18.com/products/abo...
now available with 100% of proceeds going to "stand with minnesota" organizations 💜
shopbanner18.com/products/abo...
February 13, 2026 at 5:58 PM
abolish ice
now available with 100% of proceeds going to "stand with minnesota" organizations 💜
shopbanner18.com/products/abo...
now available with 100% of proceeds going to "stand with minnesota" organizations 💜
shopbanner18.com/products/abo...
Reposted by Jess
Three words: CEO dunk tank
…
Hold up, one more word: sharks
…
Hold up, one more word: sharks
oh FFS, maybe get them to throw some of that money into rent funds instead of a zip line
February 13, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Three words: CEO dunk tank
…
Hold up, one more word: sharks
…
Hold up, one more word: sharks
Richard Jefferson, you don't need your shirt unbuttoned that far.
February 14, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Richard Jefferson, you don't need your shirt unbuttoned that far.
Reposted by Jess
Wild that a sitting member of Congress, a Republican no less, feels compelled to post this.
February 13, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Wild that a sitting member of Congress, a Republican no less, feels compelled to post this.
🎶 Making new friends at the @uptownvfw.bsky.social 🎶
February 14, 2026 at 1:17 AM
🎶 Making new friends at the @uptownvfw.bsky.social 🎶
Reposted by Jess
get the kid in the brown hoodie a scholarship
February 13, 2026 at 10:28 PM
get the kid in the brown hoodie a scholarship