beeves
@beeves.bsky.social
jockbra you skunkpits you're wearin' a brapits you skunkbra pits
Ken Jennings going for at least three jugulars with one swipe
The most compelling argument for this is that Sam was once a baby raised without ChatGPT, and look how he turned out.
FALLON: “And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
ALTMAN: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
@moreperfectunion.bsky.social
ALTMAN: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
@moreperfectunion.bsky.social
December 10, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Ken Jennings going for at least three jugulars with one swipe
*jams the stupid machine into high gear and slams the pedal to the floor*
December 9, 2025 at 9:47 PM
*jams the stupid machine into high gear and slams the pedal to the floor*
Reposted by beeves
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
June 11, 2024 at 11:35 PM
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
Reposted by beeves
Everyone imitates Tolkien all the time except when it comes to the one way it would really matter: making the protagonist of your novel for children a short, fat, 50-year-old man who doesn't want to do anything.
December 9, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Everyone imitates Tolkien all the time except when it comes to the one way it would really matter: making the protagonist of your novel for children a short, fat, 50-year-old man who doesn't want to do anything.
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The bones of Santa have been leaking liquid for 1,700 years.
December 8, 2025 at 3:05 AM
The bones of Santa have been leaking liquid for 1,700 years.
this happens more often than i expected it to
they should just give me free magic cards
December 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
this happens more often than i expected it to
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Art by • Ricardo León Cordero
December 8, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Art by • Ricardo León Cordero
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I'm so tired of these fucking freaks just doing and saying whatever and nothing ever happening to them?
December 4, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I'm so tired of these fucking freaks just doing and saying whatever and nothing ever happening to them?
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They should do MyChart Wrapped
December 3, 2025 at 10:13 PM
They should do MyChart Wrapped
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I can't listen to the song without thinking of
December 3, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I can't listen to the song without thinking of
Spending so much time around abusive people in my life got me looking around like "man what's the catch" and wondering when the next awful thing is coming down the line but this is a welcome glimpse of sanity.
NEWS: The Institute of Museum & Library Services has restored ALL previously canceled federal grants to libraries, following a ruling by a federal judge in Rhode Island last month.
This is a massive win for libraries & communities in every state & territory!
Learn more: www.ala.org/news/2025/12...
This is a massive win for libraries & communities in every state & territory!
Learn more: www.ala.org/news/2025/12...
December 4, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Spending so much time around abusive people in my life got me looking around like "man what's the catch" and wondering when the next awful thing is coming down the line but this is a welcome glimpse of sanity.
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i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
you're telling me a mannheim steamed these rolls?
December 2, 2025 at 12:38 AM
you're telling me a mannheim steamed these rolls?
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they should just give me free magic cards
November 29, 2025 at 5:31 PM
they should just give me free magic cards
Reposted by beeves
Reposted by beeves
Rod Stewart. Weird haircut raspy little elf man. But he's horny as all get out and it kind of works. Like if you walked in on him jacking off while flicking his tongue you wouldn't be surprised you'd just be like yeah thats about right. Not sure what this post was going to be about originally
November 26, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Rod Stewart. Weird haircut raspy little elf man. But he's horny as all get out and it kind of works. Like if you walked in on him jacking off while flicking his tongue you wouldn't be surprised you'd just be like yeah thats about right. Not sure what this post was going to be about originally
Reposted by beeves
