Bethany Black
@bethanyblack.bsky.social
Your favourite comedian’s least favourite comedian. Buy my live stand-up special at www.gofasterstripe.com/bet
Pinned
Another reminder: I have it set so people I don’t follow can’t reply for a very good reason right now. I’m in autistic burnout and interactions are very difficult for me. Anyone circumventing that because they really feel I need to read their opinion on something I posted will be blocked immediately
Reposted by Bethany Black
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz350bs
November 26, 2025 at 10:24 PM
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz350bs
Reposted by Bethany Black
i take frenzy damage every time i see someone go "well i just use it for the boring stuff". what are you TALKING about? if it's boring or unimportant, why are you putting it in? NPC dialogue is fertile ground for worldbuilding, creating verisimilitude, conveying important information, and hijinks!!
Buy a solo indie dev's game because I want to support them.
Find out it uses OpenAI to write "non-important NPC dialogue".
🫠
Find out it uses OpenAI to write "non-important NPC dialogue".
🫠
November 26, 2025 at 9:08 PM
i take frenzy damage every time i see someone go "well i just use it for the boring stuff". what are you TALKING about? if it's boring or unimportant, why are you putting it in? NPC dialogue is fertile ground for worldbuilding, creating verisimilitude, conveying important information, and hijinks!!
Been having a lot of meltdowns and shutdowns because of the PIP tribunal, and I’ve reached the point where two weighted blankets isn’t enough. I think I need vacuum sealing and then sous vide-ing at 45°C for 8 hours
November 26, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Been having a lot of meltdowns and shutdowns because of the PIP tribunal, and I’ve reached the point where two weighted blankets isn’t enough. I think I need vacuum sealing and then sous vide-ing at 45°C for 8 hours
Just remembered the time I hosted a new act night 9 acts all doing 5-10 minutes, I’d not seen any of them before, and at the start of the second section I accidentally said “don’t worry, some of them are bound to be funny.”
November 26, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Just remembered the time I hosted a new act night 9 acts all doing 5-10 minutes, I’d not seen any of them before, and at the start of the second section I accidentally said “don’t worry, some of them are bound to be funny.”
Reposted by Bethany Black
“I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war” - someone who didn’t see what happened to Samwise and Boromir.
November 26, 2025 at 10:52 AM
“I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war” - someone who didn’t see what happened to Samwise and Boromir.
He’ll be putting this sign up outside the Vatican soon
November 26, 2025 at 7:10 PM
He’ll be putting this sign up outside the Vatican soon
Tried to get a photo of my odometer to do my mileage. Got back in the house and under my blanket before I looked at it.
Buggeration.
Buggeration.
November 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Tried to get a photo of my odometer to do my mileage. Got back in the house and under my blanket before I looked at it.
Buggeration.
Buggeration.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Reposted by Bethany Black
I'm unplugging the internet. What do you mean "can't articulate how"???
November 26, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I'm unplugging the internet. What do you mean "can't articulate how"???
I’ve seen this progression before
November 26, 2025 at 2:10 PM
I’ve seen this progression before
“I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war” - someone who didn’t see what happened to Samwise and Boromir.
November 26, 2025 at 10:52 AM
“I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war” - someone who didn’t see what happened to Samwise and Boromir.
Reposted by Bethany Black
You know what food I hate? Your personal favourite food. Inedible garbage.
November 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM
You know what food I hate? Your personal favourite food. Inedible garbage.
Reposted by Bethany Black
An app said my pregnant niece's baby is the size of a red panda now, and I know about reality and all but I've built up a picture of that little dude as my nephew so when she shits out a screaming human soon I'm gonna be distraught
November 25, 2025 at 10:31 PM
An app said my pregnant niece's baby is the size of a red panda now, and I know about reality and all but I've built up a picture of that little dude as my nephew so when she shits out a screaming human soon I'm gonna be distraught
Reposted by Bethany Black
what i'm hoping for from the budget? well - and this might just be me - i'd like taxes on ed morrish to be taken down (or removed entirely!), which could be offset by raising taxes on ed morrish's enemies
sensible policies for a happier britain
sensible policies for a happier britain
November 26, 2025 at 8:08 AM
what i'm hoping for from the budget? well - and this might just be me - i'd like taxes on ed morrish to be taken down (or removed entirely!), which could be offset by raising taxes on ed morrish's enemies
sensible policies for a happier britain
sensible policies for a happier britain
Made French onion soup last night, and a couple of notes:
Use a mandolin, use anti-cut gloves when using the mandolin. I did both because I’m a winner.
Caramelise the onions first, 1kg of onions takes 45-90 minutes. I was imagining it’d be on the 45 minute side. It was not.
Use a mandolin, use anti-cut gloves when using the mandolin. I did both because I’m a winner.
Caramelise the onions first, 1kg of onions takes 45-90 minutes. I was imagining it’d be on the 45 minute side. It was not.
November 26, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Made French onion soup last night, and a couple of notes:
Use a mandolin, use anti-cut gloves when using the mandolin. I did both because I’m a winner.
Caramelise the onions first, 1kg of onions takes 45-90 minutes. I was imagining it’d be on the 45 minute side. It was not.
Use a mandolin, use anti-cut gloves when using the mandolin. I did both because I’m a winner.
Caramelise the onions first, 1kg of onions takes 45-90 minutes. I was imagining it’d be on the 45 minute side. It was not.
Whenever I see someone complaining they have a degree and a job that doesn’t pay enough to live there’s always some absolute fruit-bowl in the comments going “you should have gone into my line of work, idiot!”
They also claim left wing folks don’t understand economics.
They also claim left wing folks don’t understand economics.
November 25, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Whenever I see someone complaining they have a degree and a job that doesn’t pay enough to live there’s always some absolute fruit-bowl in the comments going “you should have gone into my line of work, idiot!”
They also claim left wing folks don’t understand economics.
They also claim left wing folks don’t understand economics.
Reposted by Bethany Black
“Are you a good witch or a bad witch”
Dorothy: I’m not a witch at all, witches are old and ugly”
G: “I am a witch”
D: “I didn’t know witches could be beautiful”
G: “Only good ones, bad ones are hideous”
D: “wait, did you just call me plain?”
G: “well, you called me old”
Dorothy: I’m not a witch at all, witches are old and ugly”
G: “I am a witch”
D: “I didn’t know witches could be beautiful”
G: “Only good ones, bad ones are hideous”
D: “wait, did you just call me plain?”
G: “well, you called me old”
November 25, 2025 at 1:23 PM
“Are you a good witch or a bad witch”
Dorothy: I’m not a witch at all, witches are old and ugly”
G: “I am a witch”
D: “I didn’t know witches could be beautiful”
G: “Only good ones, bad ones are hideous”
D: “wait, did you just call me plain?”
G: “well, you called me old”
Dorothy: I’m not a witch at all, witches are old and ugly”
G: “I am a witch”
D: “I didn’t know witches could be beautiful”
G: “Only good ones, bad ones are hideous”
D: “wait, did you just call me plain?”
G: “well, you called me old”
Reposted by Bethany Black
my campaign to have radio included in the baftas has once again been rejected on the grounds that “british academy radio, film and television awards” makes for a “frankly upsetting” acronym
November 25, 2025 at 5:22 PM
my campaign to have radio included in the baftas has once again been rejected on the grounds that “british academy radio, film and television awards” makes for a “frankly upsetting” acronym
To the woman with the Co-op bags who suddenly stood still and shouted “shit!” Before turning round and walking back towards the co-op (10 mins walk away) I hope the rest of your evening is better. X
November 25, 2025 at 5:13 PM
To the woman with the Co-op bags who suddenly stood still and shouted “shit!” Before turning round and walking back towards the co-op (10 mins walk away) I hope the rest of your evening is better. X
Told my mum I went to watch Wicked. She said “your dad and I nearly watched that last night, told him I didn’t fancy it as it looked like a girls’ movie” turns out I get being butch from my mother’s side.
November 25, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Told my mum I went to watch Wicked. She said “your dad and I nearly watched that last night, told him I didn’t fancy it as it looked like a girls’ movie” turns out I get being butch from my mother’s side.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Remember to set your bathroom scale back 15 pounds at 1am late Wednesday night for Thanksgiving.
November 25, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Remember to set your bathroom scale back 15 pounds at 1am late Wednesday night for Thanksgiving.
This day in History: ever the innovator, upon launching his AI project Bill Gates tests out his new proprietary T-Shirt Redundancy Notice
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
This day in History: ever the innovator, upon launching his AI project Bill Gates tests out his new proprietary T-Shirt Redundancy Notice
This is such a beautiful piece of work gets mentioned many times in this video
November 25, 2025 at 2:49 PM
This is such a beautiful piece of work gets mentioned many times in this video
If I could get people to understand one thing about agoraphobia; it’s not like when Sigourney Weaver faints trying to leave the house in Copycat, I can go to work, because one thing that’s more terrifying than leaving the house is not having a house to be in.
November 25, 2025 at 2:42 PM
If I could get people to understand one thing about agoraphobia; it’s not like when Sigourney Weaver faints trying to leave the house in Copycat, I can go to work, because one thing that’s more terrifying than leaving the house is not having a house to be in.
If you’re any of the people in my PIP tribunal last week I got a last minute gig in Cardiff this Friday, I hadn’t booked it when I said I had no plans to travel there again this year. If you’re anyone else, I’m at The Glee on Friday 😁
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 PM
If you’re any of the people in my PIP tribunal last week I got a last minute gig in Cardiff this Friday, I hadn’t booked it when I said I had no plans to travel there again this year. If you’re anyone else, I’m at The Glee on Friday 😁