Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️

@coolhandkas.bsky.social

1.3K followers 490 following 11K posts

she/her Join Posts.docx, the nothing app https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l704FtF-7_OQSKiFrw_GIPwMwLtoGvAu/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=111211770282405088388&rtpof=true&sd=true

docs.google.com

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · Jul 5

nice argument, too bad I have already depicted you as the lowly, pathetic Vagabond Joker and myself as the cool, popular Stuntman Joker

4 6 56

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 19m

I'm wheezing, I needed this today

1 1

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 21m

Thank you sm sweet angel 🩷

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 1h

The building is like 35 years old, the city has built around it to the point where it can't handle it anymore. It's moving next year. But once again, I don't feel that grocery stores pushing volume on a holiday weekend vs dead people slowing traffic are the same. Agree to disagree dawg

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 1h

Sidenote on the funeral processions, good, they should pay. They're incredibly unnecessary and they purposely obfuscate traffic by going well below the speed limit

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 1h

They are not directing in the Costco lot. I'd say the volume is mainly due to Costco, but is also an infrastructural issue as our Costco is the only one with the severity of the problem, and it isn't the busiest one in the city. I'm pretty sure we do pay for it.

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 2h

I'm kinda biased but idk if I entirely agree. I think the cops directing traffic in high volume areas at busy times might be the one thing I'm okay with paying them to do tbh

1 1

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 3h

I only lasted 7.7 km because I rode through a swarm of aphids and goobered my eyes up something fierce 🫠😔

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

I reeeeeeeally need to stay late after work to get my office stuff done one of these days, but not today. It's beautiful out and I'm going for a bike ride.

1 6

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 4h

I'm from rural Alberta and our tiny town had one dealer, a woman my mom's age. She would talk your ear off for 30 min+ before bringing you to her bedroom, which had a Jacuzzi in it, to grab the weed from her safe. She had 4 dogs, one of which was a guard pitbull with "the largest head in Canada"

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 4h

Right? Everyone should be able to enjoy the thrill of a good pull

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 4h

I had to ask people to please move so that I could get into the before-hours staff entrance because their line was blocking it 🫠 like guys I need to get in to serve you fuck

1 1

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 4h

Honestly, not really. I wanted to buy one for Mark's Xmas gift today after the initial rush died down because he's a pokemon nerd (I started at 8:30 but my boss gave me the okay to do it on the clock) but they were all gone from the mob of people who lined up an hour or more before we opened

1 2

Reposted by Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️

intercuntinental benz @zzbenz.bsky.social · 4h

seize the means of reproduction (make him nut)

5 2 17

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

I haven't looked at the forecast because I don't want to make myself sad but it truly does feel like a last nice day

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

:( incredibly disappointing. I guess they can learn the hard lesson early that greedy people ruin everything

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

YES, thank you!!!! Like I am really not cool with career scalping at all, but there are different levels to it and doing it with something that is made for CHILDREN to enjoy is greedy beyond the pale

1 2

Reposted by Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️

🎃return of the Obra Deeny🎃(they/them) @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 6h

Facebook t-shirts say shit like

Im a
FEBRUARY GUY
I drive a
FORKLIFT
and I can totally
MAKE MY WIFE CUM
dont mess with me because
I HAVE LOST CUSTODY

7 23 140

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

I reeeeeeeally need to stay late after work to get my office stuff done one of these days, but not today. It's beautiful out and I'm going for a bike ride.

1 9

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

oh fuck I forgot about don't turn around. I don't really like it as much tbh

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

now I'm confused again, this band DOES have more than two songs? I will have to listen, because to be clear I do respect Ace of Bass and I enjoy their two hits

1 2

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

member: you guys have the cops directing traffic??
me: yeah I think just since it's so busy with the Thanksgiving weekend
member: well they must not have much to do if they have time to direct traffic
me: or course they don't have much to do, they're the cops
member: laughs
me: laughs

1 7

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

That's another thing too, like even if this dude was relevant, as IF he's gonna have the heat for a performance like that

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

It's a store that sells garden tools and stuff like that, we have one on the west side of Stony Plain Road

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 6h

Okay thank you for validating on this fr

1 2

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 9h

and then of course once the information trickles down I get to explain to disappointed parents all day that the thing they wanted to buy for their kid sold out immediately

1 3

Mommy Spiderlegs 🕷️ @coolhandkas.bsky.social · 9h

occasionally at work we get pokemon cards in, and when we do it is the most STRESSFUL half hour of us getting absolutely mobbed by several hundred people who want to buy them for resale. They even find out when they're coming in before I do, it's fucked up

1 3